** Newbie-hian Rhapsody**
Sung to the tune of: * Bohemian Rhapsody * (With apologies to the rock group** Queen**.)
This one is for all the newbies. 
ahem
Is this a real site? Is this just fantasy?
Caught from the outside. New escape from reality.
Just watch for the signs, hook up through the lines,
And seeeeeeeeeeeeee.
I’m just a newbie, I need some sympathy,
Because I’m easy come, easy go, often high, kinda slow.
Anywhere the board goes, something good that matters to see,
To seeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Mama - just killed a thread.
Tried to bump it, but instead, typed my reply, now it’s dead.
Mama – it’s life had just begun,
But now I’ve gone and posted it away.
Mama <ooh ooh ooh ooh oooooooooo>
Didn’t mean to send those pics.
If I don’t post again this time tomorrow,
Carry on and log on,
As if newbies really matter.
Too late, my thread has closed,
Should simmer down my whine,
Fingers aching all the time.
I’ll say, “Hi everybody”
I’ve got to post,
Got to read all your replies and know the truth.
Mama, <ooh ooh ooh ooh oooooooooo>
Please don’t ask me why,
I sometimes wish I’d never posted at all.
(Guitar solo)
I see a little silhouetto of a man
What-a-douche! What-a-douche!
Will he do the Pit-tango?
Arguing and fighting,
very, very frightening me.
(Hellifino) Hellifino
(Hellifino) Hellifino
What does he know? I don’t know. Magnifico.
I’m just a newbie and nobody loves me.
He’s just a newbie from a poor family.
Spare him his pride from this monstrosity.
Easy come, easy go, will you let him know,
So will ya? No we will not let him know, (Let him know!)
So will ya? We will not let her know, (Let her know!)
So will ya? We will not let it go, (Let it go!)
Will not let you go. (Let me go!)
<Ah> No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh moderator
Moderator let me know.
Bielzebub, have Cecil save a spot for me,
For meeeeee,
For freeeeee.
So you think you can flame me and spit in my eye.
So you think you can troll me then leave it to die.
Oh maybe, you can’t do this to me baby,
Just gotta get out, just gotta get right outta here.
Newbies really matter. Anyone agree?
Newbies really matter, newbies really matter to meeeeeeeeee.
Anywhere the board goes.
(fade)
Thanks, you’ve been a great audience.
Several Similar Stupid SDMB Silly Songs Submitted by Smug:
Doper Groove
Every Thread You Make
Ignorant Guy
Stuck in a Pit Thread With You
On the Cover of the Ol’ Straight Dope
Thanks buddy!