Okay as a newbie myself I have to say I have enjoyed whole heatedly when a newbie joins, you guys are pretty funny. So I was wondering whats up with newbies who say hi I am here, then run away or become lurkers, is it just premature ejaculation on their part? and on a more serious note has anyone done a study on newbies and their mysterious disappearance after their intro? or newbies and hazing?
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Oops, looks like we just lost another one.
Probably, nobody has conducted such a study. We could MAYBE get a poll going to ask newbies themselves how they felt they were treated upon their self-introductions to the board, and how such treatment affected their attitudes about sticking around, but we would perforce be getting our responses from newbies who DIDN’T mysteriously disappear.
If such a poll were undertaken, it might be instructive to ask the newbies how long they lurked before announcing themselves.
No cite, but in my experience, people who announce themselves as new joiners to a message board right after joining inevitably fade away very quickly.
Those who lurk for a while to get a feel for board culture and so on before contributing are more likely to have staying power.
Anybody who posts a “Hi, I’m new here!” thread is a non-starter and should be ignored.
Not sure a poll would give us anything other than 0 votes, those darn lurkers.
The trouble with these “Hi, I am new here,” posts is that there is very little anyone can reasonably say in response either than a bland “Welcome,” or snark, and more than a tiny handful of welcomes is dull as ditch water, so the thread either dies, or becomes snarky. I think, in a way posting a “Hi, I am new here,” message is a sign that you have not (yet, anyway) quite grasped what the board culture is about. We like some content to get our teeth into here, and we are not all that much concerned with posters as personalities.
Starting to understand the “hi I am new here problem”. I suppose I just went about the Dope differently, I just kind if jumped in and figured I would get the hang of the Dope as I went. I am here to read cool stuff, have a laugh, and chill and learn something along the way. Seems so simple, I have noticed this place can get very emotional at times, in a not always kind way, so I just try and stay away from that crap.
Don’t put your pants down to your ankles when you take a shit. Always take one leg out completely, in case you get jumped.
Don’t accept any offers from anyone. Just say “it’s OK, I’m cool.” Otherwise you’ll be expected to pay them back on your knees.
Don’t ever rat anyone out to the Mods. Just deal with it yourself like a man, not a punk.
Re ratting people out, not my style. I already had someone imply I was into conspiracy theories, dealt with it myself as I think one should be able to.
This member didn’t give me the benefit of the doubt, yet I would be polite and friendly should we meet again.
This is a great observation on your part, and good advice for others. This board has a handful of cultures, partially delineated by the various forums. Some people join and think their own attitudes are more important than the existing culture. Those people tend not to do well. People who pick and choose their interactions to what they can actually get out of the board tend to be happy here.
I didn’t do an introduction thread - I jumped into a thread where I had a chance to contribute, and have been throwing random sarcastic comments around ever since.
One of these days I’ll get around to introducing myself.
You left out the snitches gets the stitches part. 
I lurked for a good long while, only eventually participated in a thread over a minor nitpick, and then never bothered with an “I’m here!” thread. I’ve also noticed that a lot of the “I’m here” posters aren’t really here, it turns out, mostly just fly-bys. I’m not really adding anything new, just echoing chiroptera’s observations, also anecdotal and in lieu of a cite.