I’m of two minds here. It’s a Bears bye week, and I was hoping to use that time in order to pause and let my liver scar up a bit. These Sunday Funday excursions can be a bit taxing. Was planning on settling in on the couch in sweats with a pizza, but this Pats-Colts game is going to be too damn interesting to watch alone. Ah well, the football gods wish for me to continue the drinking, so I shall.
I need to share what happened with my Fantasy Team in my Money League this past week though, and this is as good a place as any.
So, I’m a Bears fan. A irrational and rabidly spiteful one occasionally, at least when the Packers and a certain Brett Favre is involved. Usually I would not consider having him on my fantasy team and I have been content with this arrangement for years. Brett happily cooperated with this by sucking donkey dick for the better part of this millennium. Times were good.
This season in my money league, things have been a bit unpleasant for me. I’m saddled with a unproductive Frank Gore and a hopeless and banged up Mark Bulger. Matt Schaub has done an admirable job of filling in at the QB position but I still found myself left looking up from the bottom of my league after 4 games with 2 hard bye weeks looming in weeks 5 and 7. These tribulations were compounded by the fact that my main nemesis has stumbled upon a juggernaut of a team who continually torques me on the subject each Sunday.
Unexpectedly, the likes of Joseph Addai, LenDale White and a string of shrewd Kicker-Defense matchups helped me string together 3 wins heading into this weeks matchup with my nemesis. It’s clear that it’s a must win game for me if I hope to get into playoff contention.
Now at a crossroads I am presented with a moral dilemma. An owner dropped Brett Favre heading into his bye week (he had Peyton as the starter) and he was sitting there, and me with my #2 waiver priority available going into this week. I had to do the unthinkable and drop Ronnie Brown to add Favre to be my #1 QB for the rest of the season. My friends took great joy in noting the deep irony in this fact.
There we sat in the bar, watching my nemesis, The One Handed Girls, running up a huge point total on Sunday with Gates, Moss, the San Diego Defense, Westbrook and Joey Galloway. The torment was intolerable. Quietly my squad was scoring as well, but it wasn’t until I got home that I realized I was within striking distance, only 20 points behind him heading into Monday night. That’s right, all on Favre’s shoulder.
So I sat, alone on Monday night, passively watching the game actively rooting against the Packers, but secretly hoping that Favre sneaks in a few fantasy points. Favre starts the game big and gets me within 9 points of the lead. From that point forward it’s a string of missed opportunities. A missed throw at the goalline. A penalty at the 1 foot line. Culminating in a failed 4th quarter drive, leaving me down 8 points with 2:45 left and Denver ball. Resigned to defeat I began doing some cleaning, only half interested in the final outcome. I tangentially wanted Cutler to bring the Broncos down the field for a TD to vanquish the Pack and spite Favre for making my deal with the devil fruitless.
Then, as they reached field goal range, it dawned that a OT would give me another chance. I went from rooting for a Denver TD, to desperately rooting for a Green Bay stop and then screaming at the Broncos FG unit to get on the damn field. You all know the rest, a FG was made and on the first play Favre nailed an 82-yard TD to give the Packers a win and me a 1.4 point fantasy victory. It was perhaps the most dramatic moment in fantasy football history.
It appears the dark football gods have shown me favor, I can only pray they are not fickle.