Over in this thread, it seems that we are once again throwing around terms like “Nice Guy” (note the capitalization) and “Strong, Assertive Woman” with everyone defining them through their own filters.
This cannot stand.
From my point of view, there are three or four ways to define “Nice Guy.”
A genuine nice guy – the one everyone likes. He’s the one held up as the counterexample whenever a question starts with “Why do nice guys…”
“Nice Guy, but” – this is the guy who has crushed on someone who has absolutely no interest in him. He’ll probably be a good boyfriend for someone, but since he’s been put in the dreaded friendzone, he may have to start over in a different social group to escape.
“Nice guy, I guess” – this is the null adjective used to describe basic, bland, interchangeable people with no visible scars and no serious criminal records. They don’t even make it to the friendzone, because no woman even cares enough to have a friendship. Their best hope is that a buddy sets them up on a blind date with Wallflower Girls and they’ll live anonymously ever after.
Then there’s the “Nice Guy” who’s a bitter, passive-aggressive jerk, who thinks he deserves a woman JUST because he’s not actively aggressive. I suppose some of the “but” and “I guess” nice guys can drift into this after they’ve struck out often enough, but I also gather some are born this way.
Then there are the female categories. “Strong and Assertive” carries multiple levels disfavor, even though a lot of men like “genuine” strong, assertive women who don’t bring a lot of drama with them.
What we need are a bunch of new descriptors. Someone in the other thread mentioned “Chads” and Stacis" to describe some subset of these characteristics, but I’m not familiar with those stereotypes. Has anyone come up with a detailed breakdown of “nice” anbd “assertive” stereotypes?