What’s up with Chuck Norris? Hasn’t he ever looked in the mirror? Doesn’t he have any friends who’d take him aside and gently say, “Dude, you got roadkill on yo’ haid!”
And what’s the deal with Burt Reynolds? And Charlton Heston? Do these guys all go to the same taxidermist?
Who am I missing here?
Who are the guys in the next generation who are most likely to put a Daniel Boone hat on their head and call it hair? Nicholas Cage? Colin Ferrel? k.d. lang?
Oh course, you’re missing the obvious: Donald Trump.
What kills me is that these guys are in the business of appearance and they can obviously afford not to look that way, but no one ever stops them and says, “Sir … there’s something dead on your head.”
It seems pretty clear to me that Trump’s hair is real, however atrocious the style is.
OK, this is how entirely out of touch I am with this board: I thought a discussion of bad toupees would be RIGHT up lotsa alleys, and I fully expected this thread to go mulitpage within seconds of starting it.
What gives? In real life, most people LOVE ripping on guys with roadkill wigs. Is there seriously NO ONE here who wants to speculate on who’ll be the next male star to go Tony Curtis on us? Seriously?
At the time Reynolds, Heston, et al were becoming stars, it wasn’t cool to be bald (excepting Telly Savalas - “Who loves ya, baby?”). Now, having no hair isn’t a bad thing at all - witness Vin Diesel and others. I’m thinking the days of the bad hairpiece are over.
I can totally see Ben Affleck being the next toupeehead.
They’re all off posting in this thread.
God let’s hope so.
But what about the GOOD hairpiece? I realize this discussion can only take place in the abstract, because to the extent that good=undetectable, there’s no way to know who’s wearing a “good” toupee. But my theory is, you KNOW Burt Reynolds is gonna spend whatever he has to in order to get the least detectable possible rug, right? But it still looks like a badger pelt.
Am I wrong? is there anyone out there who’s fooling everyone?
My god you’re right. I can absolutely see him trying on little black carpeting swatches.
Well, they do make hats out of beaver pelt.
I thought this thread was about hats.
Ass, actually. And thank you.
When Charlton Heston was becoming a star in the early 1950s, he had a full head of hair, and Telly Savalas was years away from making his acting debut (1959). If you’re looking for an example of a successful baldy from that era, Oscar-winner Yul Brynner would be the one to pick.
Burt Reynolds had been acting since 1959, and had starred in three television series and numerous movies before he started wearing a toupee circa 1972.
Well, it’s been awhile, but I recall being fooled by Sean Connery’s rather commanding shock of sprouts in Hunt for Red October. Of course, I was also 16 at the time. . . but my memory of it is that it looked relatively natural, or maybe just likely on a guy that robust.
How would we know?
It’s like the list of the 10 top perfect crimes in the Book of Lists. The top two or three were left blank because the perfect crime is one where nobody even realizes it happened. So, if somebody’s fooling everybody, how would we know?
Um, I thought I had explicitly addressed that in my question.
El Kabong stole my joke!
With that “um” tacked on, it sounds like you’re not quite sure if you did.
Hi, I’m Ethilrist, and I’m a bonehead. I was replying to Moody Bastard’s quote of Lissener, and didn’t read what Lissener originally posted. :smack:
I never guessed Ted Danson wore a rug 'till he took it off in an episode of Cheers.
And I guess Bill Shatner’s toupee isn’t too obvious. Maybe his overacting puts everything else in the background, though.
Hmm. Danson’s was pretty good, actually. Or maybe that you’d expect him to have a kind of apishly low hairline; what’s artificial about it you psychologically justify as slopeheaded. Or something. And yeah, I’ll agree about Shatner too. He doesn’t make me wanna point and go “ROADKILL!”