Nike shoes are dangerous

According to a pimp who used them as a weapon.

Golly! Who knew sneakers were dangerous? What else around here is just waiting to cause physical injury? :eek: I’m glad I ate that banana the other day. Someone may have been hurt!

Excuse me, sir. Was that your banana peel you dropped over there? Some lawyers would like to have a word with you.

In the parking lot of a ski area one day, I saw a banana peel on a sheet of ice.

Neither the ice nor the banana peel had a label warning that they could be slippery.

We probably want to stay off this slope.

Obligatory George W. Bush video.

I can’t figure out what the dude’s complaint is.

Is he saying the shoes should be labeled for him (the guy using them as a weapon) to be so advised? If so, why? He seems to have figured it out anyway. Maybe his problem is, having used a shoe as a weapon in the absence of such a label, he is now guilty of using the product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling? But was there a warning on the shoe advising him of that ?

Or is he magnanimously suing on behalf of his victim, who should have been advised that the pimp’s shoe was a weapon, so he (the john) would have had a better opportunity to think twice about crossing a pimp who was armed with a shoe?

The only thing I can think of is that he hopes a court will find it preposterous that athletic shoes are ‘dangerous weapons’. If that happens, then that might remove the condition that gave him ‘the longest prison term possible’.

I think it’s reasonable to assume that beating someone with sneakers would deliver a “rubber hose” type of beating. If Nikes deliver a “nightstick” beating, then that has to be noted clearly on a warning label. I’d also like to see a label on the laces, “Caution: may cause choking if wrapped tightly around throat.”