Cheese is life. No cheese = no life.
Now lettuce, let’s talk lettuce. Who said lettuce is fit for heated sandwiches like burgers?
I say no lettuce to the nice lady at Red Robin, and get a fucking lecture on how good lettuce is for me, and how finely shredded it is.
So I killed her.
Good question. I like my cheeseburgers plain, and I think I’ve found the magic language to get them that way: say you want your cheeseburger “plain and dry, cheese only”, and it usually comes out right. Sometimes, though, I have to endure some oddness from the ordering speaker.
“I’d like a double quarter pounder with cheese, plain and dry, cheese only.”
“You want the meat too, right?”
Well, if I wanted just cheese on a bun, why would I order a double, genius?
If it was the Subway near my house, there was a quite simple explanation. You see, each and every worker there is stoned out of their gourd. Hey guys, the smell of baking bread doesn’t cover it up!
Not even Wensleydale?
I do feel your pain, though. Apparently, the sandwich makers in Berkeley have evolved a particular hearing deficiency that makes the words “no sprouts” inaudible. Not a big deal, since they generally come on top and can be picked off easily (unlike Subway cheese, which is at the bottom of the sandwich). But it still made me annoyed that I couldn’t get a single sandwich maker to heed my simple request.
It’s been my experience the cheese at Subway is not real cheese, but some horrid Swiss-American processed crap. I love cheese, but I refuse to have that psuedo-dairy substance on my subs.
No, I don’t consider American cheese to be cheese either. Cheddar, provolone, gouda, Edam, Swiss, Muenster, Montery Jack are cheeses.
I salute you for the quiet dignity and grace with which you carried yourself while a victim of this atrocity. Tonight, I shall pray such a merciless, soul-destroying assault on your personhood never happens again.
You know, they ahve provalone there. It’s not great provalone, but better than their Swiss (ick) or American (triple ick.)
I’ve never had that problem with cheese- mainly because I like my Subway sandwiches with everything piled on there, except maybe hot peppers. But try ordering a cup of black coffee at a bodega or deli in NYC.
Go on, I dare ya.
I drink my coffee black. No sugar, no milk, none of that super sweet syrupy stuff they want to pour in there for flavor. Just coffee, like God intended. So to make it clear for the folks behind the counter, I order “black coffee, no milk, no sugar”. Should be a no-brainer, right? Easily 50% of the time, I’ll get it, pay, carry it down the block and around the corner, up the elevator to my office, take off coat, settle in, open Outlook, start reading emails, pop the lid off the cup, absentmindedly take that first sip of heavenly java, and GAAAAHHHHH!!! Blech- spit spit sputter! Not only does it have milk in it, but sugar too! Sugar- in coffee!!!
On goes the lid, on goes the coat, back down the elevator, around the corner, stand in line, and politely ask again for the same thing I politely asked for the first time. Grrrrr.
And it doesn’t seem to matter what deli I go to- they’re pre-programmed to spoon a couple scoops of sugar into the cup before they even put the coffee in, it seems.
Black coffee, no sugar should be the easiest thing in the world. Grrrrr again.
When I learned I was diabetic, a diabetic coworker gave me a lecture on what I should and should not eat. I said I was going to have a salad for lunch, and he freaked out: “Do not eat lettuce. It’s the worst possible thing.”
“Really?” I questioned.
“Look around. Whenever you see fat people eating, what are they always eating?? Lettuce!”
I used to always order my fast-food cheeseburgers plain. Not getting any cheese was never a problem. Every now and then, though, I’d get one without any meat.
Have you tried Cheese, Eggs, Sausage and Cheese? It hasn’t got much Cheese in it.
I don’t like mayo.
The reason for this has to do with learning the hard way, when I was 15, that mayonnaise expiration dates do not have a six month grace period.
It’s hard to get a sandwich with no mayo, and near impossible (as Q. E. D. pointed out) to take off the mayo if they screw it up and give you mayo.
Future haiku headline?!?
Subway massacre
three dead and fourteen wounded
“bitch included cheese”
I used to have lunch every day at my favorite bar, and a couple times a week I’d hear this exchange: “I’ll have fries and a cheeseburger.”
“What do you want on the cheeseburger?”
“Cheese.”
No, but Spam, Eggs, Bacon, Spam, Spam, and Spam does.
E.
I’m pretty sure God never intended us to drink coffee. That’s why he makes it smell so bad.
But that’s a topic for another thread.
I’ve actually never had a problem at Subjway. Althought I do get cheese (Ivylass, the provolone they use is good, and sometimes, if you’re lucky, they have pepperjack). As for the veggies, I keep an eye on what they’re doing. It’s rare that they reach for the wrong thing, but I can normally catch them when they do.
Although it’s easier if you order the veggies individually instead of asking them for everything but one or two items. Confuses them less.
1st how do fast food places get away with the word ‘cheese’ when the supermarket has to label this as ‘cheese foods’, or simular indication it’s not real cheese.
2nd Real American Cheese is real cheese, but it is sort of rare to get today. Most people assume that American Cheese Food = American Cheese, this is not the case. If you were to have some of the real stuff I think you would reconsider your post. Ironically the best place to get the real American Cheese is from a Senior Citizen who came from the local social security center - now that IS cheese.
My guess is that places like Subway actually have REAL American cheese. OK, McD’s and BK probably don’t, so I’m not sure why they get away with it, but I’m pretty sure Subway at least uses real American cheese.
Which isn’t to say it’s good. I don’t like American cheese. It’s too bland. It’s like somsone took a good cheddar, decided they didn’t like, you know…flavor, and made American. That’s why old people eat it. They LOVE bland food, it seems.
I thought to myself, ‘a little fermented curd will do the trick’. So I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles
(^_^)
So the person making her sub was standing in front of her whilst making this all 3 times, right?
My fiancee thinks it’s funny to hide olives in my subs in an attempt that I’ll get used to them and like them. But that’s about the only thing I get on a sub that I don’t like.
But the thing I really hate is the girls who wear their little subway cap but don’t pull their hair out of their face. There is one girl at my local subway that has long scraggly hair that it looks like she hasn’t combed for two weeks. I think she’s going for some kind of “look”. It’s sticking out all over the place like Sideshow Bob. When she asks me “So what can I get for you?” I’m a bit too nice to say, “Yeh someone else to make my sub.”
What’s the subway wage like over there?