I’m with you on the decision to not have sex with her on the first date.
I think its ok to do it - very ok - but I don’t really date someone for a quick fuck. For that you pick them up at a bar or some party maybe. When I date someone it’s because I really like them and I think I could have a good relationship with them, not just because I wanna tap that ass.
Paul, please don’t think it was an ambush simply because she arranged for her son to spend the night elsewhere. When I was a single mother and dating, on the rare occasions I dated I always tried to have my parents watch my daughter overnight. It made for a much more pleasant evening not having to worry about having to be home at a certain time, and knowing that my daughter was safe and in bed for the night with someone I trusted. Even now, if I’m going to be out past nine I have her stay the night at Grandma’s, rather than have to wake her up to bring her home.
I think the only issue there should be how she tried to initiate and how she took the rejection. It would be archaic to put her down for simply wanting sex on the first date. That should be as acceptable for women as it is for men.
That said, the way she did it was certainly as wrong as if any man had done the same. When I’ve gone hunting for a sex partner, my MO was always to be kind and polite, and to work enough intelligent innuendo into the conversation to try and make it obvious that I’d be willing to have sex if the feeling was mutual. It was usually clear from the reaction to the innuendo what was going to happen, and if it were ever rejected I’d NEVER try and pursue anything. (Eventually my plans were thwarted by Z.R. Test, who returned my innuendo with great enthusiasm, but then ever so politely bid me goodnight. Confused, I fell in love with him.)
You’re running out of time. It might be wise to reconsider just what you will and will not do on a first date. 
I have. I have determined that I have quite enough physical and psychological problems of my own. I suspect that might have been my last date ever. Hell with it.
If a woman considered you good enough to sleep with on the first date then I assure you it’s not your last date ever.
Well, really why bother? It is always someplace between awkward and painful emotionally. And now just awkward physically. My heart is simply too scarred at this point. The game is one I am not able to play well.
Ignore all that. I ought not to burden you all. (I told you a dating thread would be a Bad Thing! Now you know why.) I can lead a happy life. Alone.
Really not even you believe that. And you shouldn’t because it’s not true.
I know personally its nice to live by oneself but it’s better to live with someone else, or at least have someone else in your life. I’m not talking about a wife but at least a girlfriend or someone (not an animal, I know you had a parakeet) very close.
You are probably thinking this way because of all those years living so far away in a culture so different from your own. Maybe you really should think about working in another country that’s not so different if you don’t want to go back to the states permanently.
I am engaged in self-pity. (Which has its purposes and pleasures within limits.) Rather than trouble you all, I am going to bed.
Parrot darn it, not a parakeet.
Well, the game should be fun. If it isn’t then sure, don’t stress yourself out over it. Take up video games or get a pet or something. Volunteer someplace.
I don’t believe you for a second you’ve given up forever, but completely believe in taking a break from the relationship thing for awhile.
Maybe it is better not to jump into dating right away. I don’t know how long you were out of the country, but I used to leave for four months at a time. Even though that doesn’t sound long, coming back was always a bit rough–culture shock. And even without culture shock, moving to somewhere new is always stressful.
Anyway, under those sorts of stresses, I generally ended up going out with people who I was much better off without. My new policy is that if I’m feeling uprooted and out of sorts, it’s the worst time possible to date. I wait until I’m feeling settled and secure in the rest of my life and then keep my eyes open for dates. My judgement about who to go out with is much better then.
One step at a time. You don’t have to figure out the rest of your life and whether you will ever date or not. Just live in today.