No, I don't have 'Short-Man Complex'... YOU have the complex!

The BBQ Pit
1

My female friend tried setting me up with one of her friends. I thought it was a very bad idea, because dating a friend of a friend can end up horribly. The friend might take side if a breakup should accrue. You could have a nasty break up and never want to see that other person again, but have a hard time avoiding each other when you have a mutual friend. Or, in my case, you could end up having little respect for the friend that tried to set you up with such an ass. Hell, I look down on her for even HAVING a friend like her, let alone trying to set me up with her.

I meet this girl once, at the movies, for the first time. She informs me that she can’t see a movie, and she has to go right away. She said she had something important to do, and it was personal. I was sort of pissed off at first, but I gave her the benefit of my doubt. Maybe whatever she had to do was important, and really needed to go.

A week passes, and I hear nothing from this girl (Sue). I asked my friend what the hell was up. I pestered her to tell me. I didn’t ask to know WHY she left the first time we met, I just wanted to know if she was justified in doing it. My friend (Joanna) finally gave in and told me that she didn’t like me because I was too short for her. Joanna said Sue thought I was very cute, but hoped that I would be at least a few inches taller.

I’m 5"5’, and Sue was 5"8’.

I was PISSED OFF!

I complained to Joanna that she set me up with this Asshole, who BTW wasn’t GREAT looking. If she didn’t want to date me that’s fine, but she couldn’t stay and watch a movie with me, or even develop a friendship with a man shorter than she!? Joanna said that she asked Sue the same thing, Sue replied that she thinks it looks funny when a woman hangs out with a shorter man, unless the woman is of the same height. She said it had nothing to do with my personality or facial features.

I got pissed at my friend Joanna, which I think I’m VERY justified in doing so, since she admitted knowing Sue could be like the way she was that night. Joanna then said something completely ignorant and offensive.

“If you’re that pissed, than I think you have a Napoleon complex”

WHAT!? I like the way I look! It’s the REST OF THE WORLD. It get frustrating, just as it would be frustrating to hear racial or ethnic derogatory comments. WTF!

I know men who like all types of women. Some like women who are taller. Some like shorter. I know a few who like heavy women. I know men who like flat chested women. I know men who like women who are stronger than they are. They actually LOOK for this in women. I have YET to meet or hear of a woman that WANTS a man who’s shorter than they are. Not just put up with it, but WANTS it. Yet, I STILL feel attractive, and would not change a thing about me. It’s just that it’s very hard to deal with other people, that’s all!

I’m too pissed to go any further with this post, I have to calm down and just think this one out.

BTW, I wrote this out of rage, plus I’m late for getting ready for work, so please ignore any errors. Thanks for letting me get this off my chest!!

2

Sue is an idjit.

Not sure that it’s worth getting upset with Joanna, though.

3

Eh, I’m guessing that Joann may be this chick’s only friend before long . . .

4

Just admit it, you’re planning on invading Prussia, aren’t you?

5

So now who’s judging by personal appearances, hm? :wink:

6

Umm… yeah.
“I was hoping you’d be taller.”
“Well, I was hoping you’d have better manners.”

No great loss here. Don’t hold it against Joanna too much, though; doesn’t sound like she realized how dim her friend was.

7

It’s funny, I don’t think I’ve ever based how attracted I was to someone on how they looked or how they were proportioned in relation to me. That’s just a little strange, IMO.

8

I think I have every right to be upset at Joanna.

PLEASE, don’t think I’m equate racists with women who would treat me or any short man this way. (If they aren’t attracted to short men, that’s one thing… but to act that way.)

I’m just saying they are both ignorant. And for Joanna to keep that sort of company makes me sad. I mean, this friend of hers stands for bad things, and it’s personalized to me. How could Joanna have a friend who is prejudice of one of her best friends? It’s like (on a MUCH lighter scale – I want to be clear about that, so I don’t get chewed out later) a black person who’s best friends with a person who has another friend that’s racist, and ACTS on it. It hurts my feelings to have a best friend who has a friend that’s anti-me. Who would treat me like that. There are no signs of Joanna “dumping” her. It’s insulting.

9

No, I would GO to the movies with her, she wasn’t my type at the time!!

People can “grow on you” and end up to be the most beautiful thing you could ever lay eyes on, and I would have given her that chance!

10

And BTW, Joanna was TOLD by Sue that she BETTER not be setting her up with a short guy.

Joanna lied to her thinking we would hit-it-off once she got to know me.

Sorry, I’m in a rush, and leaving stuff out, sorry about this.

11

Sue is a real jerk. That being the case, no great loss.

Joanna much less so. I wouldn’t look down on her because of her friends, as you suggested. Her ‘Napoleon complex’ comment was unkind, but it sounds like you had already laid into her for something that was beyond her control, so she may have just been lashing out. Unless you don’t think very highly of your friend, give her the benefit of the doubt.

Now why don’t you hop in my pocket and show me to your pot of gold? :slight_smile: [kidding, just kidding]

12

I dunno. I guess there’s something I’m missing here. What I’m seeing indicates Joanna thought enough of you to question Sue about her atrocious behavior. It’s one thing to know that a person might have ridiculous opinions – it’s another thing entirely to realize said person might be stupid enough to actually act on those opinions.

Maybe Joanna was getting upset with you for your belligerent attitude toward her and popped off without thinking about it. I’m just not seeing a lot of rationale for being upset with Joanna. But I wasn’t there, and you were. You obviously have a better handle on the situation than I do.

13

I hear you, man. I’m also 5’5", and it really is pretty rough out there for us shorties. If I had a nickel for every time I expressed interest in a woman, only to have someone comment, “But she’s…gasp!..taller than you.” This unwritten law that the man must be taller than the woman is kind of annoying. And what’s even more annoying is that a lot of women who are short seem to like tall men even MORE. But don’t ever complain about it, lest you get labelled with having “short man’s syndrome”. That one cracks me up. How come there’s no “syndrome” for others who complain about getting short shrift? (pardon the pun). There’s no “bald man’s syndrome”, or “woman’s syndrome”, or “black man’s syndrome”, or “handicapped man’s syndrome”.

One quibble, though: I don’t know that I’d be so mad at Sue. She really did you a favor - saved you the trouble and expense of taking her on a date, and possibly mistakenly thinking she’s interested in you when she’s not. Personally, I’d rather know where I stand right away than be left wondering. If she bailed out on your first date, that’s a pretty strong hint that she’s not interested, and it’s time to move on. And for the record, there are women out there who aren’t going to rule you out just because you aren’t tall. We just have a little more of a challenge, I guess.:slight_smile:

14

I’m adding my two cents here to say: Sue is a jerk. She should have taken a chance and gotten to know you. Joanna shouldn’t have second-guessed her expressed preferences, either.

And BTW, I’m one of those women who actually have a thing for guys who are shorter than me. Not that I never dated taller men, I just like 'em short and sexy. This factoid was included just to let you guys know that not all women are fixated on tall guys.

15

Wow! I missed this part. Joanna made a SERIOUS error in judgment there. With friends like her, you don’t need enemies.

Well hello there; where have you been all my life?:slight_smile:

16

Sue is a jerk; however, she did save you the expense of a movie ticket.

I dunno about Joanna though - she sounds like a bit of a busy body - can’t stand to see anyone single so she tries to set up everyone she knows, regardless of how compatable they might be. However, I do have to tell a story here - my mom and dad met on a blind date. Before the date, my mom inquired as to how tall my dad was. Her friend that was setting them up replied “He’s very handsome.”

Despite my moms inital preference for tall men, she agreed to meet my dad, and was basically sweapt off her feet - they were married 9 months after their first meeting and she and my 5’5" father have been married for 35 years - perhaps Joanna was just trying to give her friend the benefit of the doubt as my moms friend did for her. You should probably do the same - with Joanna that is.

17

Geez. I’ve been treated rudely by women on dates once or twice, but nothing like this. . . to just get up and leave, because you were too short?! What a supercilious cunt.

And I agree with the OPer; he DOES have a right to be pissed with Joann. She knowlingly set him up with a friend she knew didn’t like short men. Then, when that friend acts rude and shallow, tries to turn it back on Diff T, and claim HE must have some kind of problem! Un-fucking-believable.

Personally, behavior like Joann’s is a big red flag to me. I’m not sure I’d want to even be friends (definitely not close friends) with someone so unwilling to take responsibility fior something they so obviously share the blame for.

18

5’11" chick happily married to 5’6" bloke checking in…

Yep, Sue is a rude cow. She’s quite entitled to her personal preferences about what sort of appearence turns her on (though mind you - three inches is too much? What a lightweight! Feh!), but for crying out loud she could have at least seen the movie with you. Not to do so is saying not just “I don’t think I could be romantically involved with you” but “Your appearence is so repellant that I can’t bear to ever be seen with you in a situation where we might be thought of as a couple”

Next time Joanna tries to set you up with a friend, make sure she’s at least 6 feet tall. We actual tall chicks know how to deal with half the world being shorter than us :wink:

19

Your friend Joanna was way out of line.

Sue said don’t set me up with a “short guy,” and Joanna did anyway. Obviously Sue meant it. Joanna’s little plan backfired and I think you are being too easy on her for that. Then the Napolean thing.

And I think Sue was a extremely shallow for not even continuing with a date was set. We all have our preferences, but to be that locked in for one date is bullshit.

If Joanna was my friend, she’d be on my chill/don’t call list for a few weeks.

Both of these women need to learn to start treating people with a lot more consideration.

20

Yeah, I chime with the kick-Joanna’s-ass-line too. If she knew what her friend didn’t like (i.e. shorter men) she shouldn’t have told her to date you.

I can see why you’re angry with the other girl, but remember she is under no obligation to date you (whatever her reasons).

Doesn’t excuse her from being rude though.

–God, I’m in a public pooled computer room right now. It’s kinda late and there’s this guard wavering about me watching me type. I feel like a gay agony aunt. Arggggggggg! Asshats actually laughing at me now.–