If it helps, I’m never sure who to offer the baby to and who not to. I don’t want to force the baby on anyone who doesn’t want it, but at the same time if someone came out to see the baby, there is a good chance they want to hold her and will put out if I don’t offer. I’m never quite sure which way to guess.
I love babies. I literally love babies. Could give a darn what gender, race, what have you. Lurve babies. They’re soothing. They’re pure. Man I love babies.
I volunteered every Sunday for 3 years, year round, on the Pediatrics Ward of a local hospital when I was in Jr. High/ High School. I was indeed a Boy Candystriper.
Yes, I’ll hold your baby. I’ll walk him, I’ll feed her, I’ll talk to her. I’ll sit with him.
What’s not to love? 
Yes. I’m dead serious. I’m just one of those people. ( And yes, I have two grown kids of my own… )
ETA: Penfeather, I like ya.
You missed me.
I would think it would be fairly obvious in most cases. People are pretty strongly demonstrative of their emotions in these cases.
My expression would be dismayed and reluctant, and I’d be backing away.
A person who had a better degree of love in his heart would be leaning forward, with a soft, happy, cuddly, “Oooh!” expression.
In my opinion, there’s nothing wrong with offering. “This is little Pubert, and he’s seven days old today. If you’re very gentle, would you like to hold him?”
Good and worthy people will say, “Oh, please, yes, may I?”
People more like me are going to say, “Um, er, I mean, that is, ah… Maybe another time?” Twitch twitch…
I’m glad there are babies! I’m glad the human species is being perpetuated, and the human adventure is just beginning. But…ah… Some people are better equipped to bear the immediate burden than others. Bless you for being a parent. But…better you than me, brother!
What perplexes me is that EVERYONE would want to pet or cuddle a new puppy or kitten, but about half the population (or more!) don’t want to touch a new human being. Why is that? Are you afraid of breaking the baby or something?
Most of my acquaintances are childless people in their early 30s. I don’t always have a good read on who dislikes kids, who desperately wants them but hasn’t been able to, who is just waiting for the right time, who doesn’t want kids but likes other people’s, and who just doesn’t have enough experience to be comfortable. Obviously most people are going to be enthusiastic or feign enthusiasm about a friends new baby-- so I really have few clues as to who is desperately hoping I’ll offer them the baby and who is desperately praying that I won’t.
I was in that last category myself until I had my own. I didn’t grow up around babies, so I didn’t really know what to do with them and was scared of doing something wrong or just looking obviously uncomfortable (I learned quickly.)
That’s not true. I don’t want to pet or cuddle those animals. I remember as a kid, people’s pets (usually grown-up dogs/cats, not puppies/kittens, but I don’t think it matters) would come up to me and I would pull my hands away. People would say that the animal doesn’t bite, but that wasn’t my concern. I didn’t want to get saliva and/or dander on me, and I still don’t!
In many cases, they don’t really know how to hold a baby without looking stupid/unnatural. Like a lot of 20-year-old guys.
Well said Penfeather. My first experience with a baby was looking after my oldest niece when she was about 4 or 5 months old. My partner already had some experience with nappies and stuff, and my brother and his wife really needed some time alone together, so the baby stayed with us for a few days, and we managed OK, heh. I’ll never, ever, forget my wee niece falling asleep on my chest, slightly dribbling on my shirt, as we sat on the couch, and her tiny hand clasping onto one of my fingers. Babies are cool.
I was scarred for life the first time I changed a newborn’s diaper.:eek:
I still don’t eat mustard.
So hold your own damn baby.
That’s actually part of the issue with some of us. I don’t know how to hold a baby. I’m told that neck and head support is really important.
Also, as monstro said, some of us have the dropsies. I don’t want to hold your crystal vase, antique timepiece, or laptop computer, either. (And, of course, I can replace the vase, clock, or 'puter if I absolutely have to, but a baby isn’t replaceable!)
Mostly, though, with at least some of us, it’s a fear of noisome contact. I have a (minor) phobia regarding saliva.
And it’s all totally unnecessary! It shouldn’t ever be an issue anyway! You do what you want, and I’ll do what I want. I don’t make you read my poetry; you don’t pressure me to hold your baby. These are precious liberties we revere in a free society. (And, given my skill at poetry, you’re really the one who’s better off!)
I also have zero interest in holding other people’s children, and it always strikes me as odd that some people take it as a personal affront. Babies all look the same (namely, like miniature Winston Churchills) and don’t do anything. Meh.
So why would I want to interact with these people? If they have no interest in anything but their baby, I’m happy to leave them to it. It’s only when they insist that I evince the same enthusiasm for their baby (and somehow, “Meh, it looks and behaves the same as every other baby ever,” doesn’t quite cut it) that I get annoyed.
Yes, that and edgy paedophilia jokes.
I love holding babies, but I am terrified when they’re reallly tiny. But no-one’s ever pushed a baby on me.
Yes, that’s part of the problem. I don’t hold other people’s nice guitars because I have a tendency to whap the headstock on things. I don’t really want to risk this with your baby, either.
You misspelled Dwight D. Eisenhower.
Yep, they’re into babies, know how to deal with them, and I’m not. It doesn’t make either of us wrong, but one of us is prepared to deal with their offspring and the the other isn’t. Bring them back when they’ve started talking and don’t need to be held constantly, and I’ll start to deal with them.
I’m sure if it was my baby, I might feel differently (I sure hope so!), but it’s not my baby.
Ironically, i think the fear/anxiety thing is WHY people push the issue. If you really would like to hold the baby but are declining due to nerves, or because you are unsure of how to do it, well, that calls for reassurance and instruction. However, offering reassurance and instruction without actually adding pressure to the request is really advanced social interaction, and most people aren’t that skilled–so the message is garbled.
I don’t have any strong feelings about other people’s babies. I’m one of those people whose maternal instincts only kicked in with my own kids; they’re not generalised. I’ll happily hold other babies, but I don’t have any deep craving to (which means I’ve sometimes forgotten to offer someone a baby cuddle when it would have been appropriate, because it didn’t occur to me that they might really want one). I don’t get the big deal either way. Hold the baby or don’t.
The one time I’ve strongly wanted to NOT hold a baby was when I called round to meet the neighbour’s premature twins, and they passed me the smaller one to hold. She was fast asleep and tiny. I was terrified she was going to stop breathing and I wouldn’t even notice.
So last night we were having dinner at a restaurant. There was a family in a booth with a baby who shat his diaper. No big deal, shit happens. But the odor was immediately alarming. Diners looked about, making eye contact with other diners, signaling their concerns. My eyes were watering and I wondered wether it would be appropriate to alert CYS. :eek:
Sorry !!! I likes yas too.
Couple of comments up there to respond to. We are humans. We are animals. We cuddle and hold and kiss our young. Some of us are comfortable delivering that level of intimate comfort to the young of others. That’s nice. Some of us are not comfortable with that idea, and that’s nice too. Alla those Judgey McJudgersons out there can go suck eggs. Nobody should be forced to hold an infant or excoriated for not wanting to do so.
This has nothing to do with pedophelia and frankly it says a lot more about the people who throw that label around than it does about the people who are perfectly happy bathing a naked infant. Please. :rolleyes:
As for the mustard comment, well. I love me some Goulden’s Spicy Brown. Due to the years of Pediatric candystriping, by the time my son arrived and I was 28, I had already changed hundreds of different babies’ diapers. Meh. Poop is poop and Goulden’s is Goulden’s.
Inconsiderate of the parents not to tend that particular shitbomb right away. You mighta caught a whiff a moment before they did, but as soon as they did, it was kind of incumbent upon parents to whisk the kid away to change them.
Fortunately, Men’s rooms as well as Women’s rooms mostly come with a fold-down baby changing table. Which I always always always would wipe down really thoroughly before laying my kid down on it to change them. Talk about your fecal-oral route. :eek:
Actually, the family was changing the diaper. At the table. Another discussion altogether. I have two grown kids and many nieces/nephews, but I’ve never witnessed an infant creating such a foul load. Made me wonder if Alan Funt was a member of the family. It was the sort of thing they would close down a Bus Station’s restroom over. And this morning I’m certain all those present are marveling over the event.