I’m with the OP. Pretty much the last thing in the world I want to do is hold a baby, and yet, on a few occasions I have held the baby. In each case it was something like:
Breeder: Do you want to hold the baby?
Me: No, I don’t think…
Breeder: Oh come on, you HAVE to hold the baby (moving towards me)
Me: No really, I don’t… (baby is placed in my hands).
I was an only child, and was not around young babies ever when I was growing up so I have no idea how I’m supposed to hold them, nor what to do if something starts going wrong. Also, they seem prone to engage in intense eye contact, which is pretty much my worst nightmare. On the other hand I have been around lots of cats & dogs, and am pretty well equipped to handle almost any situation that might arise. Also, you can pet the animal, play with the animal, fun for me and the pet. With the baby, its just me holding it, trying not to do something stupid until someone will take it off my hands.
I don’t mind babies. I’ve held them when a mother needs an extra hand. I’ve babysat. They don’t scare or repulse me. I’ve had mostly silver white hair since my mid forties. What I’ve never had is children. So asking me if I want to buy an item for grandchildren I don’t possess or remarking that I look like I want to bring a new grandchild home–especially when the gentleman I am with is my brother, not my husband-- is going to get you a very frosty reaction.
For the first few months of our child’s life, my wife and I developed a protocol for handing off the baby whenever we were all in the shower and things were slippery. We borrowed it from the pilot protocol (which I probably learned from a pilot Doper like RichardPearse or LSLGuy): During a transfer of control, we would both hold onto the baby until after the giver had said “You have the baby!” AND the receiver had said “I have the baby!”.
It is only a very small number of people who are careless or foolish enough to be pushy about baby-holding. Really, this thread is mostly about that tiny minority of people who are rude about it.
It’s far too late now, but I wish that the thread could have avoided the excesses of anti-baby language. “Your goddamn baby” wasn’t necessary, and nor was “Breeder.” The basic point could have been made without being rude that way, and it undermines the appeal to common sense etiquette that could have made the point more universally acceptable.
Don’t push babies into other people’s arms…and don’t insult people’s babies. Neither of these is admirable in any way.