No Such Thing as No Bake Cookies!!!!! IDIOT!!!

The BBQ Pit
1

FUCK YOU!

There is NO such thing as a “No bake cookie”

If you think there is. You. Are. WRONG!

I mean, its in the fucking NAME, they don’t call it a cookie because you plop a ball of almond butter and rice flower on a cold cookie sheet and let it dry out and get crusty.

NO!

It’s called a cookie because YOU FUCKING COOK THE DAMN THINGS.

I’m so tired of all you idiots health nuts hippie veggie supremes thinking you are better than everyone because you can manage to choke down a dried out lump of shit that you call a “no bake cookie.”

I don’t CARE how much healthier it is, and I don’t give one FLYING FUCK about your gluten or wheat allergy! Just eat a fucking cookie and suck it up! Stop it with this NoBakeNonsense!!!

What’s wrong with you all? I mean seriously? Did you not get enough love from your mothers when you were children? Did she shove one two many cloves of brocoli down your throat when you were a kid? I make sure all my kids get REAL cookies, whether they like them or not!!!

I mean, there’s no excuse in this day and age when you have a million cook books with decent cookie recipes. Get a fucking oven. Get a fucking clue. And eat a fucking cookie. No more of this “no bake” shit!!! Get OVER it. You aren’t that special! You aren’t clever.

Any idiot can roll up a bunch of oats with some peanut butter and let it get crusty on the counter. Do you think you are smart? No. You don’t. You aren’t SMART enough to think you are SMART. That requires the ability to THINK in the first place. You are lower than life. You are a “no bake cookie” eater. Get your fucking HEAD out of your ASS and stop eating the FUCKING NO BAKE NONSENSE YOU CALL A COOKIE.

I mean… would you look at the word? COOKIE

IT’S RIGHT THERE IN THE NAME!!! THe word COOK is right there, and here you are shoving some dried out shit down my throat that never saw an oven. I have a proper mind to fucking vomit all over your face with this no bake nonsense.

I will never understand people like you. NEVER. ANd I don’t see how ANYONE even could. You don’t get it and you never will. You probably couldn’t use an oven to burn your own hose down. You don’t even know how to knob it, do you? I mean fuck, you’re probably so stupid, your mom disowned you and your dad won’t even eat your nonbake shit!

It’s like Ghandi said, “EAT A FUCKING REAL COOKIE, YOU NO GOOD FILTHY RAT!”

I don’t know, sometimes I wonder what this world is coming to. You go out and try and make the world a better palce. Do your job. Love your family. All the while you have these IDIOTS and CREEPS making and eating “no bake cookies.” it’s enough to make your head spin.

I could go on and on. But that’s it. I’ve had enough. If this hasn’t convinced you, NOTHING WILL.

GOODBYE!!!

2

how would you feel about half-baked?

3

Is there some Google result that says “Vent about stupid shit here?”

Fuck that noise, driveby asshole. I make no-bake cookies all the goddamn time, and they don’t get baked.

Yes, they are cooked. Cooked != baked.

They are fucking awesome.

4

I’d find the argument much more compelling if they were called “bakies.”

5

And there is the little fact that “cookie” means “little cake,” and “cake” appears not to be etymologically related to “cook.”

6

That’s good enough for me.

7

Parent of the year. Have a bakie.

8

Troll House cookies are baked.

9

Then we’d have to fight about no cook bakies. I say leave well enough alone.

10

Sometimes, even the stupidest threads can be informative. How do no-bake cookies work? I’m no damn good with an oven; what’s the deal?

11

Broccoli comes in florets, not cloves.

12

Where to start…

Others have covered the whole “cook” “bake” etymology issue.

Where do you get the connection between no-bake cookies and hippies / vegans / health nuts? I don’t think they’re related. I don’t think I’ve ever heard anyone claim that no-bake cookies are healthier.

Regarding the gluten / wheat thing; while I share your irritation with the “gluten free” craze and the fact that the vast majority of those avoiding gluten have no valid reason to, there are people who are genuinely allergic and can end up destroying their bowel lining if they don’t avoid it. In any case, “no-bake” and “gluten free” cookies aren’t related. You can get baked gluten free cookies and I imagine you can make no-bake cookies that contain gluten.

Oh, and garlic comes in cloves, not broccoli (which you spelled wrong).

Oh, and I don’t think I’ve ever heard of anyone burning their hose down. Maybe that was another misspelling.

13

One of my favorite no bake cookies is basically a fudge recipe. Stir in some peanut butter and oatmeal to the hot fudge mixture. Then scoop out spoonfuls and let cool.

No oven involved.

14

So actually, the problem is the people who *bake * COOKies. You’re the one doing it right (at least by the OP’s logic).

15

There is now.
https://www.google.com/search?q=“Vent+about+stupid+shit+here%3F”

16

I’ve never made no bake cookies before. Baked cookies are so good though. Do no bake cookies compare?

17

a small sweet cake, typically round, flat, and crisp

18

:slight_smile:

Join, get the lay of the land, spend some time in Cafe Society or ask a few questions in General Questions. THEN vent about something stupid no one else cares about but will take time out of their busy day to mock your misery anyway.

19

I think the OP’s username indicates a singular goal. He or she likely won’t return.

20

Double post