Am I missing something or is there some reason you can’t tell her to just fuck off? If she’s that much of a nuisance, cut her out of your life entirely and don’t even talk to her. Seems easy enough to me.
If she’s really stalking you that badly, talk to her parents. Tell her parents – or have YOUR parents tell her parents – that they and you will have to take out a restraining order if she doesn’t leave you alone. And you certainly CAN change your cell phone number if you’re being bothered this badly by someone; talk to your cell phone provider.
But I’d definitely start with her parents, if it’s really that bad.
I usually like my drama to be more dramatic.
Is there some reason why you don’t just put her on permanent IGNORE on whatever IM program you’re using, and prevent her from putting you on her buddy list?
27th Evil, it sounds like you just need to grow a set of balls and tell this person you don’t want to be her friend. It strikes me as a little cold to invire her into your circle of friends only to decide that she’s not really in your circle of friends with bothering to tell her that.
Your OP sounds kind of snotty and elitist-- very high school.
If you don’t like her, just tell her you don’t like her. I know what it’s like to have emotionally needy person latch on to you but eventually you have to scrape them off. Pretending to be friends is not going to make them go away. You can’t avoid a confrontation here so you might as well get it over with.
And if you do with to be passive aggressive, there is always your block list/ignore list/refuse all calls from features.
In situations like this, the advice I’ve always heard is to simply cut them off completely. Even speaking to them just encourages them.
Yeah,
I spent six months trying to break up with a guy. I tried nice, but nice didn’t work at all. I tried nasty, and he just became supportive “you must be going through such a hard time right now, because I know you aren’t really like this.” I tried dating other people, but all I got from him was a sense of hurt betrayal (and he still called!).
It was only when I stopped talking, hung up the phone as soon as I heard his voice, moved out of my house for a few weeks (I moved in with my parents and they would tell callers that I didn’t live there anymore, but they’d take a message - with has been standard operating procedure with my parents since I moved out - they never give out my phone number, but will take messages for me), that he gave up.
Can’t block her, or would she then just call more?
I would have just been either rude or blunt to her before this point (“We don’t like you. Fuck off.” or “We’ll call you, don’t call us.”), but then that’s just me.
Well, geez, why do you all have cell phones and instant messaging if you don’t want to be available every freaking minute of your waking day?
Diogenes , if you befriended someone and they started to stalk you, what would you do?
iampunha , Exactly. And at this point, if I ignore her calls too long, my parents get calls. I’m already going to be forced to shake them up a little soon, I don’t want to add her their stress list as well.
I think it might come to that, if she tries to intrude on our family plans on Easter and then says “we’re being mean because of (insert disability here)”. The main issue so far has been how poorly she deals with that kind of thing. We’re a bit afraid of causing her to have some mental breakdown.
I believe that the OP clearly stated that she needs to be available every minute of the day because of some sort of committee she is in, and thus becoming unavailable just because some high school girl is stalking her isn’t a viable option.
I’d tell them to fuck off. Have you tried it?
Tell her you don’t want any contact with her any more. If she keeps trying to call you or IM you, you can get a restraining order.
Basically, you have to let your feelings be known. there is no polite way out of it, you have to be blunt.
Your OP sounds kind of snotty and elitist-- very high school.
Ditto.
And been there, done that with the “sisters” thing. Grew out if it when I was about 17. You might wanna think about doing it, too.
You’re not responsible for someone else’s reactions. If she does have a mental breakdown, I wouldn’t consider you responsible. I would consider her unbalanced psychology and/or brain chemistry responsible.
What exactly do you mean? Because you see, some people have to be dealt with VERY firmly and without any chance for them to worm their way into your life. It’s the only way they’ll back off.
As would I. Her behavior is certainly far from normal.
Refer her to a competent therapist. You do not have the time, from what your OP and subsequent posts reveal, to carry her through this, and if you do, she will be latched onto you all the more.
Meanwhile, try calling her (“I only have a minute or two to talk, so I just wanted to het you know that…”) and letting her know when you WILL be able to spend time with her. Ensure her that your hectic schedules and adjustment to college (which is, ensure her, a wholly different thing from high school) requires so much of your time that you don’t have much of it to spend with anyone in your blood family, let alone close friends and other associates from high school. Perhaps she will get the hint, and perhaps she will not. Any road, you are neither of her parents and what she needs is a parental/therapeutic figure in her life, which it seems to me you cannot and should not be.
If your parents don’t have Caller ID, now might be a good time to get it and screen calls;)
I agree. 27th it sounds like you don’t want to hurt her feelings but if it is that bad, you can’t beat around the bush here. It sounds like you’ll just have to tell her exactly how you feel. It might hurt her feelings and you might feel crappy about it, but what are you going to do? Allow her to disrupt your life as much as it has been?
I think it’s unfortunate when people don’t get the hint because when things come to a head everyone feels like crap. 
Just try talking to her. If her behaviour doesn’t change, then don’t answer her calls, don’t respond to her e-mails and block her on IM.
so what disability does she have?
She has a bunch of disabilities- born two months early. Unfortunately, the physical ones alter her appearance and drive away the more narrow-minded, but the mental issues drive away the people who try to befriend her. I’m probably going to speak with her mother over Easter break and see if they can help her. Thank you for all your suggestions. She needs help far beyond what I can provide.