Yes, I know that I just moved here. Yes, I understand that hunting is a very big part of life in this area of the country, especially this time of the year. Yes, I’m keenly aware that guns are very prevalent around these parts and yes, it’s true, I knew that when I moved here. Yes, I realize that hunting is something you and your son really enjoy. But…
NO! YOU MAY NOT STORE YOUR SON’S GUN IN MY APARTMENT!
I’m very sorry that your son wasn’t home when he said he would be - that sucks. I know you drove 60 miles out of your way to give him back his rifle - you should have called to see if he was home. You did? He said that he got called in to work but that I would be home and to just give me the rifle? Well then you should’ve called me, I could have saved you the trip. You wouldn’t have come at all when I told you in no uncertain terms that by no means do I want a GODDAMNED GUN IN MY APARTMENT!
Just because I live in the same apartment complex as your son does not make me your official gun depository. Nor does the fact that I happen to be marrying your daughter. I looked over the vows and I didn’t see anything in there about becoming your father-in-law’s gun storage facility.
What’s that? Can you come in and have a beer? Let me see… Is that a rifle in your hand? It is? Then no you may not. I would be happy to sit and have a beer with you if first you would kindly go put that gun in your car. You have to take a leak first? I don’t care if you haven’t pissed in days…you’re not coming into my home with a gun in your hand! All I ask is that you kindly acknowledge and respect the rules of my home. They are very simple. There is in fact, only one. NO GUNS ALLOWED IN MY HOUSE. It’s true. You can shit on my kitchen floor if you like, just don’t do it with a gun in your hand or you will be asked to leave.
I don’t think I’m out of line here. Some people ask you to take off there shoes before you enter there homes…I ask that you leave your firearms down in the car and not ask me to hold them for you, no, not even for a few hours.
I understand and respect your house rule (and agree with it), but that could be a hard one to enforce, considering the people breaking it are people with guns :D.
Well, you notice he’s posting here, rather than saying it to the guy’s face.
I agree with the OP wholeheartedly, by the way. Guns, in the hands and responsibility of people who know their ways, can be perfectly safe. Arbitrarily leaving one at somebody’s house when he knows nothing about them is not so good. Not that you’d monkey around with it, but look at it this way: would somebody leave their kids with a future in-law, without finding out first whether or not it was okay? Just not a good idea.
Ethilrist, I actually did tell him I don’t like guns in my house, that I wouldn’t keep the rifle for him and that he would have to put the gun in the car if he wanted to come in. I didn’t use the words I used in the OP, but I did tell him. He tried to pretend like he wasn’t pissed, but I could tell he was.
That’s what is really eating me today and actually inspired my rant. I know he’s probably telling all his buddies right now what a “pussy” his daughter is marrying. Completely ignoring the fact that his daughter is actually marrying someone that stands up for what he believes (sticks to his guns, as it were) and then has the guts to stand up to his future father-in-law to defend his beliefs. And I’m the “pussy”, right? Because I don’t like guns in my house. What a jack-ass. A worm has more spine. I bet he didn’t call on purpose because he figured I’d say no over the phone but wouldn’t be able to refuse if he showed up at my doorstep. Sorry, buddy. Candlemas doesn’t work that way. Back to the car jack-ass!
As a gun owner, I can’t agree more with what Tranquilis said. The rules Tranq listed are the cardinal rules of responsible gun ownership. It’s scary to me AS SOMEONE THAT OWNS GUNS the number of irresponsible people there are that own them.
A gun a NOT just another power tool - I wouldn’t lend a weapon to ANYBODY, unless I was hunting WITH them or something AND they were licensed.
And Candle, way to stick to your principles. The whole FIL relationship may be rocky, but it beats becoming accidentally DEAD!
Yes, and no. I was thinking more along the lines of “licensed to carry” (FID, Class B, or Class A), although in the specific hunting scenario, yes, a hunting license would probably come in handy too.
But I was thinking more along the lines of a shooting range or something at the time.
The idea is, in MA at least, in order to get licensed (Class A or B at least), you have to take a gun safetly course first, which serves as basic gun handling/safety training.
Gun-owning Dopers are the best gun owners there are. I wish more gun owners thought like you folks.
BF, my fiancée doesn’t care for guns too much either but she just sort of sighs, rolls her eyes, says a caustic word or two and then deals with it. She’s grown up around guns and hunting so she deals with it a little better than I do. I just don’t feel like “dealing with” something that could turn my face into modern art. Especially when in the relative safety of my own home. When the fiancee and I are together however and the topic does come up, we’re definitely on the same page.
Now that I’ve cooled off a little, I can see the bigger picture a little better. My future FIL isn’t a bad guy, he’s just led a slightly insular life. I doubt he’s ever even met someone that would object to having a gun in their house. I do get a little paranoid from time to time though because he knows I don’t like guns, so sometimes I feel like he’s just fishing for reasons not to like me. I don’t know. I think maybe at the time he was also a little upset with himself for not thinking that I might refuse and therefore he wasted a large part of his own day.
Demise, he didn’t really hound me to take it, but he certainly stressed the point that because of me he was being severely put out. Not only did he ask me several times to reconsider but he seemed to think if he could just get the gun inside for a few minutes that I would reconsider. I offered him a beer and dinner so that his trip wouldn’t be a total loss, providing that he put the gun in the car first. He accepted my offer and started to come in with the gun in tow. I had to remind him to put the gun away. He then says he has to take a leak and again I say that he will have to put the gun in the car first, that I don’t allow guns in my house even for a minute. All this while we’re still standing in the freaking doorway to my apartment. I don’t know. The whole situation stunk.
I’m glad to see gun owners out there backing me up on this.
That was kind of rude of him. After you made your feelings clear the first time, he should have gotten the message. The same would be true if it were anything, but guns definitely bring a more emotional response.
I’m glad that you’re being objective and seeing that he probably just didn’t realize that it would be a big deal to you. No harm, no foul.
Hopefully he’ll respect your stance on guns in your home from now on and it won’t be a point of friction between you.
I appreciate that you have concerns about any firearm, but there are a few little things I need to ask…
First, did he walk up with a loaded weapon? That would be quite rude. It sounds like you were more interested in making your point about your rule, “no guns”, than considering granting a favor to your future father in law. This sounds like the beginning of trouble to me as well, getting off on the wrong foot. What if he offered to dissassemble the gun? No one has ever been accidentally shot by a disassembled and packed gun.
It sounds like you have a basic communication problem with him. If you care to have a civil relationship I would suggest solving this problem.
If you really feel as strong as the rant you posted, I think you’ll cause yourself a lot of heartache, as far as your wife and her father are concerned.
