A haiku does not mean
Seventeen syllables
No other constraints
I just always check
If it scans to the tune of
Moonlight in Vermont.
Polycarp:
It does in English.
The rules are much more complex
For Japanese lit.
From my reading about Basho, a haiku is meant to be about an environment, isn’t it?
The old pond
A frog leaps
Plop.
Not as far as I’ve know. It’s meant to be focused on a particular emotion. Just to prove how different and rebellious I am, I will not include a haiku in this post.
Here we go - from Wiki-P
I would agree with
Dr. Drake. Polycarp thinks
S/He’s smarter than “us”.
I shall not argue further.
Drake’s descriptivism wins out.
Sad-eyed, I slink away.
Fight poetic battles
With Eddy Teddy Freddy.
I shall not disturb you.
There once was a carper named Poly,
who wrote haikus on a trolley
<*** Error: Syllable Limit Exceeded ***>
Chubby Hubby, Bo-
vinity Divinity,
and Chunky Monkey
But anyone could
just bang out a bunch of words
and put them in lines.
There’s a vile old man
Of Japan, who roars at whores
“Where’s your bloody fan?”
To fully comform,
A seasonal reference:
Fuck you, wintertime!
I wrote a haiku
That controverts the O.P.
But I eated it. 
First five syllables,
Then seven, then five again.
Blah blah fucking blah.
You eated Haiku?
Winter kitten looks skywards
With huge sad blue eyes.
ha ha
HAIKU!!
pardon me,
I have a cold
Teh eated haiku
Makes wind in teh froze flat place
I can has summer?
Can not has summer.
Maybe can has cheezeburger?
This too is denied.
My dearest Summer,
please slip on some winter ice
and have a nice fall.