Nobody believes I'm gay.

The BBQ Pit
1

I keep insisting I’m gay, but nobody believes me.

I’m not a Republican. I’ve never been elected or appointed to a government position. I’ve never been in a marriage of convenience. I’ve never been arrested for having sex in a public place. I haven’t spent my adult life ranting about the gay agenda.

All of these seem to be proof of gaiety these days, and I just don’t fit the stereotype. What’s a queer to do?

2

[QUOTE=panache45]
I keep insisting I’m gay, but nobody believes me.

I’m not a Republican. I’ve never been elected or appointed to a government position. I’ve never been in a marriage of convenience. I’ve never been arrested for having sex in a public place. I haven’t spent my adult life ranting about the gay agenda.

All of these seem to be proof of gaiety these days, and I just don’t fit the stereotype. What’s a queer to do?
[/QUOTE]

Is Liza Minelli single again?

You gotta marry her. Pronto.

3

[QUOTE=panache45]
I keep insisting I’m gay, but nobody believes me.
[/QUOTE]

More likely, nobody really cares. It’s your business and nobody elses.

4

You look gay as a handbag full of daffodils and rainbows to me.

5

That’s the job I want: gay tester. “Just step into the back room, sir! This won’t hurt a bit.”

6

“If anyone really cared about your sexual fantasies, they wouldn’t be fantasies”

  • Fran Leibowitz
7

[QUOTE=elucidator]
“If anyone really cared about your sexual fantasies, they wouldn’t be fantasies”

  • Fran Leibowitz
    [/QUOTE]

Whoa! Don’t harsh his buzz, dude!

8

[QUOTE=FriarTed]
Is Liza Minelli single again?

You gotta marry her. Pronto.
[/QUOTE]

Do you have ANY idea what the waiting list is like for that? Larry Craig is “happily” married with several kids and even he’s on it at number 210 or so, though admittedly everybody went up one when Merv died.

9

Well you’ve never sucked my dick.

10

[QUOTE=matt_mcl]
That’s the job I want: gay tester. “Just step into the back room, sir! This won’t hurt a bit.”
[/QUOTE]

May want to re-think that. Three words: Wilford Brimley: bicurious.

11

[QUOTE=Sampiro]
May want to re-think that. Three words: Wilford Brimley: bicurious.
[/QUOTE]

Oh, dear Og, no!

You’re welcome.

Robin

12

[QUOTE=matt_mcl]
That’s the job I want: gay tester. “Just step into the back room, sir! This won’t hurt a bit.”
[/QUOTE]

Can you tell me the criteria so I can study for the test? And, oh, yeah, is passing the test gay or not?

13

[QUOTE=brownie55]
Can you tell me the criteria so I can study for the test? And, oh, yeah, is passing the test gay or not?
[/QUOTE]

Naturally there’s the oral exam, which is where we test your knowledge of showtunes. (what did you think the oral exam was ya perv??)

14

[QUOTE=panache45]
I keep insisting I’m gay
[/QUOTE]

That there’s your problem. Deny deny deny.

15

I think this cartoon might have some relevance to this thread.

I would suggest going with the American flag pin on the lapel unless you think that would be TOO flamboyant.

16

Are you a “Friend of Dorothy’s?”

17

Would you describe Bill Clinton as a “naughty boy?” Try that in public a few times and people’s views may change.

18

[QUOTE=Cat Fight]
That there’s your problem. Deny deny deny.
[/QUOTE]

Yeah, tell me about it. I have the opposite problem. No one believes I’m straight.

19

[QUOTE=panache45]
I keep insisting I’m gay, but nobody believes me.
[/QUOTE]

Try picking a flashy username like “panache.”

Sailboat

20

Or, if you’re black, “ganache.”