Non-homosexual People: A Poll

In My Humble Opinion
41

First, hi Jocke! En landsman till!

1. What do you identify as? Hetero female, mostly.
2. Age/location? 27, Lund, Sweden
3. Current relationship status? I’m in a relationship, but I don’t know where the hell it’s headed
4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Non-religious upbringing, as about as non-religious as they come now.
5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? No, actually it hasn’t. I don’t ever remember feeling anything but okay with gays.
6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not? Yes, somewhat serious relationship with a lesbian when I was 16-17. It didn’t work. She was a lesbian, I am not.
7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? Sometimes I think I’m not really a woman: I fart and belch, I watch porn, I always speak my mind, I only wear girly clothes and make-up to please me. I hate to shop, and I spend as little time as possible in a store. Unless it’s got tools, that’s fun.
8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community? “Gay people are okay, as long as I don’t have to see it”.
9. How good is your gaydar? Pretty damn accurate, I say. Pegged a friend as gay before he even came out to himself.
10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian? By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc. Yeah, friends. No family though. That would be interesting.
11. Any other comments? Yeah, when someone asks me to define my sexuality, I usually say “I know what I like, but I know what I prefer”.

42

1. What do you identify as? Heterosexual male
2. Age/location? 29/Chicago
**3. Current relationship status?**Inexplicably Single
**4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs?**I was raised Catholic then Christian Fundamentalist. Now I’m no longer a Christian, I try to be more of a free spiritual thinker.
**5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how?**Yes, grew up thinking it was wrong, wrong, wrong. Probably thought that until about 3 years ago when I left the church. Now I say whatever puts wind in your sails…
6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not?
Nope, never even crossed my mind. Never found men sexually attractive in the least. I have trouble looking at my own naked self in the mirror.
7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? Not at all for being a Hetero male. I am neat, reasonably well dressed, have an over-abundance of shoes, live alone in a very clean house, have two small dogs, like to dance and very emotional. I sound more stereotypical for the other team.
8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community?
I try not to get annoyed at much, and even now can’t think of anything.
9. How good is your gaydar? I have no clue. I’m usually the gaydar jammer. I’ve thrown off a couple people.
**10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian?By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc. ** I have had no contact with any known homosexuals at all. I don’t ever recall even meeting any gay person.
**11. Any other comments?**Not at the moment.

43
  1. What do you identify as?

Straight female.

  1. Age/location?

16/Raleigh, MS

  1. Current relationship status?

Single.

  1. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs?

I must come out of the closet. I am a Radical Feminist Atheist. Hardcore!

  1. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how?

When I was younger, I didn’t really understand it, but I’ve matured since then.

  1. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not?

Nope. Chicks just never did much for me. I’ve seen a few that I thought were very lovely and attractive, but I’ve just never wanted to bed any.

  1. How are you stereotypical? Or not?

I’m a total girly-girl! Pretty dresses, giggling, whole shebang. Except I don’t like shopping. And I’m not air-headed. And I’m not boy-crazy. Hm…

  1. What annoys you about the heterosexual community?

The way the kids at my school fling around the word “fag” as all-purpose slander. Some of them doth protest too much, methinks.

  1. How good is your gaydar?

Fairly good. I’m usually right when I get my “readings”.

  1. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian? By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc.

My best friend is a bi femme. She had a girlfriend named Bobbi I didn’t like, but that was because Bobbi was a bitch, not because she was bi. Two of my mom’s friends, Nick&Joe (always said together as one entity!) are some of my closest and most devoted companions.

  1. Any other comments?

I’m straight, but it might just be a phase.

.:Nichol:.

44

**1. What do you identify as?**Heterosexual male.
2. Age/location? 31/Gilbert, AZ
3. Current relationship status? single, never married
4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs? Liberal Protestant upbringing. Much more liberal Protestant now. Sometimes I wonder if I’m a Christian or a Deist for Jesus.
5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how? I used to be prejudiced against homosexuals, but am now much more open-minded. I think of it as a matter of taste.
6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not? No. No desire to; guys just don’t appeal to me sexually.
7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? Sterotypical: Like hiking, camping, and pickup trucks; Job in a male-dominated field (stress/heat transfer analyst). Not: Sing in a community chorus, fond of the arts in general (esp. classical music).
8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community? Never really thought about it, to be honest.
9. How good is your gaydar? Pretty good.
10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian?By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc. The closest friends I have who are homosexual or bisexual are friends I’ve met at various Dopefests. Have a homosexual second cousin who I attended the same college as at the same time. Haven’t seen him since graduation though. Even in college, we only hung out occasionally.
11. Any other comments? Nah

45

1. What do you identify as?
Hetero female.

**2. Age/location?**25, Georgia

**3. Current relationship status?**perpetually single

4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs?
Brought up independent Baptist. Currently agnostic.

**5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how?**Not really. Always been a big fan of it.

6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not? Nope. Not sure.

7. How are you stereotypical? Or not?
I like pink. I loathe televised sports and insects of any kind. I fall into the “manhating feminist” stereotype quite a bit despite my more docile ways. My own best friend says I’m “angry” and “bitter”, but not as much as I used to be, which is good I suppose. The thing I can’t figure out is how women can NOT be bitter. Hell, I’m lucky if I don’t slap every man over sixteen that I meet. That’s a sad stereotype I apparently fit.

8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community?
the way gender relations never change. girls are still dependent on men to find a reflection of themselves in them. men still look to women to define their manhood. it’s all very disturbing.

9. How good is your gaydar?
Excellent.

**10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian?**Yes.

46

Were Here! Were Not-Queer! We Shoot Deer! We Like Rosie Greer! We Smell Like Beer!

  1. What do you identify as? Hetero Male
  2. Age/location? 30/Seattle
  3. Current relationship status? Married w/ daughter (6 weeks old woohoo!)
  4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs? (Upbringing) Very vaguely protestant of some sort. (Beliefs)Agnostic, not because of theological/philosophical complexity, but mostly because I think generally people (myself included) are too stupid to figure out taxes, much less the origins of the universe.
  5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how? I guess, I am just as bigotted as the next person, but try not to be. When I was younger I didn’t try so hard. (not to be bigotted)
  6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not? Yes, two. I was horny and it seemed like a good idea at the time (middle school/high school).
  7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? I am and I’m not. I like sports, tools, cars and I think men are funnier than women (I don’t like that I think that but there you are). I can play football, rugby and soccer. I can replace brake pads, leaky plumbing and bathroom floors. I care about what kind of curtains we have, what color paint goes on the walls and how we decorate our home (much to my wifes chagrin). I can cook and sew. I like movies that make me cry (Secrets and Lies, not Steel Magnolias).
  8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community? The same thing that annoys me about the homosexual community, and the pants wearing commmunity, people are self centered fuckers, but they are also kindly and beautiful. It drives me fucking nuts. The things that bother me specifically about the “heterosexual community” is the way it expresses the fact that humans are selfish fuckers.
  9. How good is your gaydar? OK, but mostly because I have gay friends who tell me what to look for, for example if you are a guy, gay men will usually look you in the eye longer than straight men.
  10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian? Best man at my wedding was gay, confused lesbian/hetero friend down in San Francisco, don’t really know what her deal is but she isn’t straight.
  11. Any other comments? If you are young and are confused about your sexuality, don’t go having sex with random people, kiss them first. I had sex with two guys before I ever kissed one. I knew right away that I wanted chicks not dicks.
47

1. What do you identify as? Bisexual male…
2. Age/location? 20/DC (ish)
3. Current relationship status? single
4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs? Christian. Sorta strayed from Catholicism due to some logical inconsistencies I couldn’t reconcile with what the Church offered as reasoning.
5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how? Ohhhh yes. I used to be way homophobic. And now … well, it’s a good thing I’m not!
6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not? I’ve been involved with a man and a woman (at the same time, literally). It was delightful.
7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? I don’t think I really am. I can look at a naked woman to whom I have no emotional attachment whatsoever and it’s like … yeah, and? I don’t “get off” purely by looking at porn. The same isn’t true for guys, however, in that I can look at a naked man and be attracted. Oh yes. :: pant pant ::
8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community? Ignorance, ignorance and … um, ignorance. It’s fucking annoying. And the whole “Hey, I’m so straight! Is there ANY chance I’m gay? I don’t THINK SO! HA HA HA! BOY AM I STRAIGHT!” Yeah, buddy, I’m buying that. And there’s a bridge I’m interested in, too:)
9. How good is your gaydar? Pfft. What gaydar?
**10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc. ** My ex-roommate is gay. I have a few friends who aren’t straight. By and large I leave it to them to tell me if they want to.

48

1. What do you identify as? Straight.
2. Age/location? 32/New Yawk City
3. Current relationship status? single
4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs? Catholic from a very religious family, though even at a young age, religion seemed distant and not very rational. Currently atheist.
5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how? Definitely homophobic growing up. Opinions began to change in college (a GF coming out to me definitely helped) and now I’m radically pro-gay rights.
6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not? Nope. The male form doesn’t attract me, and the “male” personality doesn’t engender romantic thoughts. I had a male roommate for about three years, and our running joke was that we would make a fantastic couple if we could just maintain an erection at the thought/sight of the other naked.
7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? Moderately stereotypical concerning action flicks and sports - I like them, but don’t go out of my way to watch them. Horrible with machinery. For the rest, to quote TN “I am not neat and I hate shopping. I like kissing and cuddling as much as the hardcore stuff…which I also like a lot.”
8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community? Self-inflicted ignorance.
9. How good is your gaydar? Decent with men, though I’m more likely to be wrong by thinking a straight gay (though those people are just repressing ;)) than thinking a gay guy straight, if that makes sense. Absolutely horrible concerning women (I’ve dated two women who came out while or shortly after I dated them).
**10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian?By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc. ** Not at the moment. I’m pretty close with a few gay fellow Dopers, but my schedule prevents us from hanging out too much. In the past, I was extremely close with several homosexuals of both genders.

Sua

49

1. What do you identify as? Heterosexual female

2. Age/location? 29 Dewar Oklahoma

3. Current relationship status? Divorced

4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs? Brought up with basic beliefs but no organized church. Converted to LDS about a year ago.

**5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how?**Nope, I have always been accepting if anyone’s life.

6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not? Nope, never really had the chance.

7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? Don’t really see myself as fitting in any defined roles but since I have moved to Oklahoma I have tried to fit in, I now hunt and own a gun!

8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community? I don’t see why people on either side of the sexual coin have to make such a big deal out of it. We are all people, who we sleep with is our personal buisness.

9. How good is your gaydar? Excellent. I can spot, my best friend taught me how.

**10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian?By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc. ** Two of my best friend’s in my life are gay, One is also a drag queen and I had to help him make his dresses. Made me glad I am a girl who doesn’t have to dress up :slight_smile:

11. Any other comments? I’d like to see everyone more understanding of each other. We are all really just people trying to make it through life, we need to remember that.

50

1. What do you identify as? Heterosexual male

2. Age/location? 22/Madison, WI

3. Current relationship status? single

4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs? Not much of a religious upbringing. Pretty basic humanist type morality, no dogma, a vague belief in God. I’m pretty much the same now, I just dropped the God bit.

5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how? Yes. Although I have always been of the opinion that homosexuals should be allowed to do their own thing, I inherited a belief that no one was really ‘that way.’ It was all a rebellion thing, I thought, not the way people really are. My views have changed in the last few years after I began to read about the experiences of gays and reading the posts on this board. Reading descriptions of the love gay Dopers feel for their partners (I distinctly remember reading something andygirl had written about quietgirl) made me realize how silly my previous beliefs were. Gays love as strong and as deep as anything I ever have seen between a man and a woman. Now I am quite pro-gay, and I tend to read a lot about gay culture and the experiences of gays.

6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not? Nope, but then again I’ve never had a heterosexual experience. Pretty much for the same reason, I never got the opportunity.

7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? I am pretty stereotypical, although I don’t enjoy getting drunk, loud, or violent.

8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community? I don’t know how much this is exclusive to heterosexuals, but the unrealistic body images people are expected to have in order to happy and sexy tend to annoy me.

9. How good is your gaydar? Essentially untested. So, no clue, but I suspect it is quite bad.

**10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian?By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc. ** None that I know of for sure.

51

Ross, is that you?

Sorry, just had to. Carry on.

52

Oh, I meant to add this but it slipped my mind:

**10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian? By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc.

My best friend is a bi femme. She had a girlfriend named Bobbi I didn’t like, but that was because Bobbi was a bitch, not because she was bi. Two of my mom’s friends, Nick&Joe (always said together as one entity!) are some of my closest and most devoted companions.**

Also, one of my cousins is a hermaphrodite. Does that count? “Gerry” was raised as “Geraldine”, but decided a few years back “she” was really a “he” and switched. Gerry is much happier now and has a sweet girlfriend and that’s all that matters.

.:Nichol:.

53

1. What do you identify as? Heterosexual female

2. Age/location? 20/Boston

3. Current relationship status? lonesome and deperate… ummm… I mean single.

4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs?
Born and raised ELCA Lutheran (just about as liberal a denomination as you can get without being UU). Currently a Pagan/Agnostic.

5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how? Never had a problem with it. Always thought that people had no write to be judgemental about something that was a trait people were born with. Always had a problem with people my age who use the word “gay” as a derogatory adjective.

6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not?
Nope. see #1. I like guys. Of this, if of nothing else, I am certain. (Especially after tonight’s eposode of Buffy). The problem is that the guys don’t like me.

7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? Outwardly I’m not at all: I’m loud and brash and I swear a lot and I like hockey. I usually like violent movies (preferably with swordfights) far more than “chick flicks” or romantic comedies. And I don’t dress girly or wear makeup. But on the inside i’m a sick hopeless romantic who squeals over “Pride and Prejudice”.

8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community?
Sexism and people making assumptions based on appearances. And i double-second the impossible standards of beauty, which are just ridiculous and tend to depress me to no end.

9. How good is your gaydar? Rotten. Really bad. (don’t ask.)

**10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian?By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc. ** Several passing aquaintences, a couple of fairly close friends (well, one’s bisexual)

11. Any other comments? Well, whatever it is that men want, I seem to not have. So at this point I’m rather of the opinion that this whole searching for love deal is a rotten joke that some god or other is playing on me. What? Bitter? Me?

54

Your final statement is correct: you quite evidently know little or nothing about transsexualism. That’s about the only thing you got right, though. Transsexualism is not about avoiding being homosexual (well, almost always). It’s almost completely unrelated to sexual preference. There are a lot of gay and bisexual transsexuals out there (almost as many as straight transsexuals, in fact).

Rest assured that your opinion is based entirely on ignorance, and please make all reasonable efforts to dispel that ignorance lest you accidentially infect another person with it. It’s really tiresome constantly dispelling the myth that “men get sex changes so they can have sex with other men”.

The suggestion that I, by admitting that I am transsexual and actually doing something about it, am engaging in an act comparable to “gay-bashing” is odious in the extreme. Please educate yourself so as to avoid making such obnoxious accusations in the future. And please do not attempt to get this education from Jerry Springer.

55

Thanks, KellyM. Remember the StraightDope Motto: “Fighting ignorance…it’s taking longer than we thought”
I’ve never considered having a sex-change operation. But I honestly think I could be comfortable in a woman’s body.
I’m sure I’d still prefer women as partners. Hmmm…that would be the only time I might use a variation on the odious cliche we’ve been discussing in andygirl’s thread:

“I’m a sort of a man who happens to be in a woman’s body-- but it’s cool 'cause I’m a lesbian.”

If I offended anyone with that one, I’m sorry. Reprimand me.

Peace,
TN*hippie

*“I hope my sensitive female side is wearing sensible leather pumps.” ---- Zippy the Pinhead

56

I really only find it offensive when it’s used as a lame pickup line by some stupid guy who seems to think that he can cure lesbianism with his mighty cock. Somehow, I don’t think that applies here.

57

:smiley:

58

1. What do you identify as? Hetero Female

2. Age/location? 36 - Chicago area

3. Current relationship status? single, seeking serious fun

4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs? Raised Catholic, atheist since about age 11. I’m not a militant atheist - I just have no emotional need for belief in a higher power, apparently.

5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how? I never much cared, even as a teenager. I figure that if I’m not dating the person, their orientation is none of my business, and is completely irrelevant. I think a lot of people are hung up on what they they gays do in bed, but really, they don’t do anything that some heterosexual couples don’t do. Parts is parts.

6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not? Never. I’ve had fleeting thoughts of “wow, she’s attractive, if I went that way…” but never more than that. Given my track record with men of late, though, I kinda wish I were a lesbian sometimes…

7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? Not too stereotypical, I don’t think, but I’m not the best judge of that. I’m a chick-geek - software engineer by training, and have worked in the tech field for 14 years, but I’m a very social person. Part of my problem with having relationships over the years is that I’ve often been considered “one of the guys.” I’ve never been mistaken for a man in my adult life, though. :wink:

8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community? I don’t know. I try not to generalize, and I don’t really know what the “heterosexual community” is.

9. How good is your gaydar? I guess it’s ok since I’ve never been interested in a guy who ended up being gay. But as I stated before, it’s entirely irrelevant, and I don’t much pay attention. I also try very hard not to make conclusions based on what’s considered stereotypical behavior.

**10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian?By “close” I mean parent/child/sibling/best friend/roommate/favorite coworker,etc. ** Not currently. Some casual friends, probably more than I think, because again I don’t really pay attention.

11. Any other comments? Yes, but I’m keeping them to myself right now.

59
  1. What do you identify as? Heterosexual female.
  2. Age/location? 16/SC
  3. Current relationship status? ARose
  4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs? Brought up Presbyterian; currently searching.
  5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how? Like, TN*Hippie, I like the quiet unjudgemental approach.
  6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not? Not really, or not yet, I suppose. I’ve been diagnosed as “bi-curious” by Catalyst. Leave my options open, but not anytime soon.
  7. How are you stereotypical? Or not? I like pink. I like jewelry, ok. Don’t like shoes or shopping unless in the mood. Definitely like sex and what goes with it. I don’t cook. I hate menial housework. I like dressing up and looking good. I also love dressing down and boyish. I like climbing trees. I like cats, and sparkly things.
  8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community? Prejudice and assumptions.
  9. How good is your gaydar? I haven’t a clue. I don’t make assumptions for the most part.
  10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian? Not really, but know a couple of bisexual people. Had a fling with a bisexual guy 1-2 summers ago, and we’re close friends to this day.
  11. Any other comments? -mumble-
60

1. What do you identify as?

Straight.

2. Age/location?

39/Montana

3. Current relationship status?

Single. Wondering how many times I can go back into the cooking stuff store to see if SHE is working before they call the cops on me or everyone on my Christmas list gets a cooking implement under the tree.

4. Religious/spiritual upbringing? Current beliefs?

Methodist. The religion invented so that Scandihoovians would have somewhere to drink coffee and make small talk on Sunday morning. Now I’m trying to find a term beyond athiest or agnostic that means, “I don’t care about G-d, singular or plural.”

5. Has your attitude about homosexuality changed? If so, how?

Growing up in a small rural town, in the west, in the '60s and '70s I had a bad attitude towards, “sissies” and “girlymen”. Now I just figure it’s none of my business.
6. Ever had a homosexual experience? Why or why not?

Nope. Why? Never been asked. Why not? I like women. They smell good, their skin is smooth. They aren’t hairy. ILBT.

7. How are you stereotypical? Or not?

How? 4x4 pickup, beer drinking, big dog, do outdoor sports, mustache, lift weights, have used the word “gazongas”, never backed down from a fight in my entire life. Have embarassed girlfriends by publicly and loudly threatening to kick the ass of other males who were rude to or cursed in front of women, old people, children and dogs.

Not? I’m trying to re-meet a woman I met while shopping in a cooking store. I don’t own any blue jeans. I never watch sports at home. I watch only 10 college football games and 2 Class C basketball games per year. I couldn’t name 10 current players in any professional sport with a gun to my head. I like to cook, not just barbecue. I dress well. I can listen.

8. What annoys you about the heterosexual community?

Married women who don’t wear wedding rings and then think it’s funny/get insulted if I ask for a date. Jerry Falwell and others of his ilk. That I live in a state where homosexuality is illegal.

9. How good is your gaydar?

Pretty good for guys, lousy for women.

10. Are you close to anyone who is gay/lesbian?

Nope. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Just don’t know many homosexual people. I don’t think this town even has a “gay” bar.