I’m not exactly sure how to respond to your post. My father was in the Army until I started High School, and while it was hard at times, overall, I found it rewarding that I got to see so many different places so early in my life. However, there were definitely times I felt lonely and like my life as an “Army Brat” just plain sucked…to get over it, I tried to make as many “acquaintances” as possible, though I had only a few actual “friends”. (I could talk to or even hang out once in a while with an “acquaintance”, but they really wouldn’t know very much about the “real me”, whereas a “friend” and I would spend a lot of time together, get into trouble together, and actually know one another fairly well.)
Now I’m grown up, married, have two kids and a third one on the way…and I’ve found that my wife and I are, like you, fighting all the time. We do love one another, but hey, life can get stressful. We’ve found that a good way to vent some of our energy (and it would also be a good way to make some new acquaintances, and maybe even some friends) is to throw a dinner party. We pretty much do this every two months or so, and we almost always cook Italian food. (Depends on what you’re good at, mostly.) I’ll cook somewhere between 4 and 8 gallons of “spaghetti” (quoted ‘cause I call it spaghetti sauce, but I use it on manicotti, ravioli, whatever…red sauce w/ meat in it, nonetheless, as if it was significant at all to my reply) sauce, pounds and pounds of Spaghetti, Ravioli, Manicotti, Fettuccine…two to four whole loaves of garlic bread, and the side-dish always changes…mixed vegetables, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes…whatever sounds good for the particular night. Usually some of the guests will bring something they want everyone to try, whether it be a dessert, a side dish, or sometimes they’ll just wanna chip in a bit by bringing some Pepsi or chips or something. We pretty much plan for people to arrive within an hour of the food being ready (in the meantime, we have chips ‘n’ dip or whatever type of appetizer we chose for the night) and we socialize, introduce friends to one another (my friends to my wife’s friends and vice-versa, my kids to guests’ kids and vice-versa…), though in your case, one of those “introductory circles” (you know, where everyone takes turns introducing themselves to the group) or something along those lines might be a good idea, so everyone gets to know everyone else. After we eat, we’ll usually sit around the living room and have a big conversation, or multiple smaller conversations going on at once…and then after everyone leaves, my wife and I usually congratulate each other on how well it went and clean everything up together (mostly the dishes, though, after a few dinners, we got smart and invested in plastic party plates). By then, we’re usually drained of energy completely, and go to bed happy, and relieved of a lot of stress. 
I’m sure we will be hosting a lot of these more often starting fairly soon, and by doing so making acquaintances, as on April 3rd, I begin Basic Training for the Army. Wherever we go, we’re gonna have to start makin’ new friends. And my wife won’t have a job to keep her busy anymore (like she does now), and will get very bored very fast.
Finally, as a person who used to do the whole “self-inflicted cuts on the arm” thing…I can relate well. Somehow, in my mind it was like trying to release the emotional pain by replacing it with physical pain…seemed like it was a pretty good release…but in reality, it wasn’t helping at all. I’d feel better afterward, but it wouldn’t be very long before I’d feel the need to do it again…many times about the same thing that triggered the action the first time around. One day, I actually came to realize this, but for some reason, months and months passed and I still couldn’t stop…it all changed when my daughter was born. For a long while after she was born, I was so happy (I had a smile permanently affixed to my face for about 48 hours afterward…boy were my cheeks sore after that…) that I didn’t feel the need for any sort of release…and months down the road, when things had started getting back to the normal, hectic way life usually was, I threw a dinner party (for one occasion or another, Memorial Day perhaps) and found that it really took away quite a bit of stress. I found my new release, and didn’t need it anywhere near as often. I mean, sure, I get frustrated still, and sometimes my wife and I still argue…but when life seems to hit those low points…a dinner party is right around the corner.
Just my thoughts, hope it helps…and for those wives that can’t be trusted…you can make them “acquaintances” that you just talk to about day-to-day things…little things you wonder about, stuff you think is funny in the world…and just not discuss your family life with them on an open basis. That’ll keep the gossip to a minimum, and your need to worry about them turning you in for neglect (or any other bad circumstances that might arise) to a minimum as well.