I’ve recently finished watching the **Cheers – Season Four ** DVD and it got me to wondering. Has any other character in the history of television ever had such a run of great entrance lines as Norm Peterson? I think those “Normisms”, beautifully written and wonderfully delivered by George Wendt, are part of what made **Cheers ** so great.

Here are some of my favorites:

“What’s going on, Mr. Peterson?”
“Let’s talk about what’s going in Mr. Peterson.”

“Do you have room for a beer, Mr. Peterson?”
“No but I am willing to add on.”

“How are you today, Norm?”
“I’m on top of the world…which, it turns out, is a dismal place in Greenland somewhere.”

“How’s life treating you, Norm?”
“Like a baby treats a diaper.”

This is one I’ve used in real life.
“What’s shaking, Mr. P?”
“All four cheeks and a couple of chins.”
It killed, naturally.

So let me hear from you, fellow dopers! What Normisms do you remember, and have you ever used them in real life?

“It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, and I’m wearing Milk Bone underwear.”

For continuing entrances, you have to give credit to Lenny & Squiggy on Laverne and Shirley. The ladies would always be describing some disgusting, sub-human act or creature when they would stick thei heads in and say “Hello!”

“How are you, Mr Peterson?”
“I’m sorry to hear thar”
“No, I mean pour.”

"What’s up, Normie?

My nipples, it’s freezing out there."

Sam: What are you up to, Norm?

Norm: My ideal weight… if I were 11 feet tall.

[hijack based on the OP’s screen name]

Why can’t I get just one Lurk?
Why can’t I get just one Lurk?
Believe me there’s some things that I wouldn’t miss
But I look at your thread and <gasp> I need a Lurk!

With apologies to Gordon Gano.

Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nippin’ at your nose?

Yep, now let’s get Joe Beer nippin’ at my liver.

There’s that - and also Kramer’s entrances on Seinfeld. And yet, it’s not quite the same, is it?

I’ve used that one in real life too.

Homebrew: You *can * get Just1Lurk, but if you want me for the whole night, it’s a even thou.

My favorite too. I’ve used it a couple times to good effect.

How’s life treating you, Mr. Peterson?

Like I just ran over its dog.

‘How’s a beer sound Norm?’
“I wouldn’t know. I always drank 'em before they could make a sound.”
What would you say to a beer?
“Daddy loves you.”
(I hated the episode where Norm got his dream job [as a taster for a beer company] and Rebecca ruined it for him… kill the witch!)

I also like how, once the routine was established, they had fun with it:

(Sam, Diane, and Norm all enter the bar together. Norm stays near the entrance, an expectant look on his face. Sam and Diane look at Norm, then each other, and cry in unison “Norm!”)
Diane (diliberately stilted delivery): How - are - you - today, Norman?
Norm: Oh, as if you cared.

Another time, the gang is at a bowling alley. Norm ducks into the alley bar for a beer. “Norm!”
Sam: How the hell do they know him here?
Cliff: He’s got a life, you know.

“How about a beer, Norm?”
“Okay, but stop me at one…Nah, make it one-thirty.”

“Beer, Mr. Peterson?”
“Isn’t it a little early for that, Woody?”
“For beer?”
“No, for stupid questions.”

:: checks cash ::
Add it up
Add it up
Add it up …

Not a Normism, per se, but this line deserves a mention:
“Women. Can’t live with 'em, pass the beer nuts.”

CapnPitt’s offering is my favorite.

“What’s new, Norm?”

“Terrorists, Sammie. They’ve taken over my stomach and are demanding beer.”


“What’s the story, Mr. Peterson?”

“‘The Bobbsey Twins Visit the Brewery,’ Woody. Let’s cut to the happy ending.”

“How’s life treating you, Norm?”
“Like he caught me in bed with his wife.”

As a follow-up to Just1Lurk’s bowling-alley situation:

One episode had Woody being forced to return to Indiana by his parents. The gang made a film to send to Woody’s parents, showing how stable and normal everyone was in Boston.

Norm takes Woody to The Hungry Heifer to eat. In the “movie,” they open the doors and walk inside. A loud chorus of “Norm!” is heard.

Sam: What’ll it be Norm?

Norm: I’m feeling adventurous. I’ll take a glass of whatever comes out of that tap.

Sam: Looks like beer.

Norm: Must be my lucky day.

and a bit of trivia.

On Star Trek:DS9, the alien who always sits at the bar at Quark’s is named Morn, which is an anagram of Norm.

Another departure from the theme, but still a great Norm joke:

A guy comes into Cheers who hasn’t been there for 20 years and starts reminiscing about how things used to be – including the <whatever> that used to be “right over there, behind Norm.”