Sam to Woody: Oh, come one man, don’t be a droit!
ahem Oh, come ON, man…
My favorite Norm has been mentioned (“Let’s talk about what’s going IN Mister Peterson.”), so I’ll relay my favorite Coach/Sam, instead.
Coach decides to drive to Connecticut to get his driver’s license renewed, as they don’t test your eyes.
Later on in the episode, Sam answers the phone, and says, “Well, that’s great, Coach. We’re all real proud of you.”
He hangs up the phone, and someone says, “He got his license, huh?”
Sam answers, “No…he found Connecticut.”
Paraphrasing here, because I only saw it once:
Diane comes to the bar to pick up a tray of drinks. Several look exactly the same. She asks which one is which.
Coach: Oh, well, Drink#1 is in Suzy, Drink #2 is in Clarence, and Drink #3 is in Wally.
Diane: You have names for all the glasses in the bar?
Coach: Oh, sure… here’s Frank, and Bill, and Edna…
Diane: You can tell all the glasses apart just by looking at them???
Coach: Of course! [looks at a trio of beer steins] All except for the Johnson boys…
Diane: [smugly] See?
In context, this is easily in my top ten funniest TV moments.
Frasier (to Lillith): You amaze me, usually someone with your obvious lack of good looks makes up for it with some sort of a personality.
Sam: (Trying to encourage Dianne to finish her novel) You can’t sing, you can’t dance, your poetry is awful, your photography stinks…
Diane: Make your point, Sam!
In the King of beers episode:
Norm becomes a beer taster at a brewery!
During a tour of the brewery he approaches one of the huge beer tanks:
Norm - [hugs tank, closes his eyes] I’m home!..
“How’s things on the road of life, Mr. Peterson?”
“I dunno, Woody; I missed the on ramp.”
“What are you up to, Mr. Peterson?”
“My ideal weight…if I were 11 feet tall.”
“This would make a great bar story.
Too bad we’re all here.” -Norm
Sam (responding to Frasier, who has just asked if the bar crowd has ever seen any movies other than The Magnificent Seven): “Well, we did go see The Magnificent Ambersons once, but when we realized that there weren’t seven of them, we left.”