Haze, Nava, that’s so weird to me–after my former second husband and I had sex for the first time he was all smug and proud as he informed me that I was lucky since I was the only girl he’d gone down on during the first time and I looked him right in the eye and told him HE was the lucky one because if he hadn’t he certainly wouldn’t have had a chance for a second round! Shook his world view a bit, that did…
I know the old Eskimos having forty words for snow thing is not really accurate, but I still feel that if a society has positive words for sex acts it bodes well for the overall sexual health of the people in general. In my world oral is basic stuff, a given, not in any way out of the ordinary and people who don’t do it have no place in MY bed!
So you don’t date men unless they worship your vagina? They should treat it as a privilege to go down on you? I’ve always been bombarded with the notion that you shouldn’t give your partners these kinds of sexual ultimatums, but I kind of like your all-or-nothing approach. Unfortunately I don’t think many men would be partnered for long if they told their partner that they had better give them oral or else…
I wonder, then, about English-speaking North America. It seems to me that we do NOT respect sex. Why else would our curses all have to do with sex? Compare Quebec, where the curses have to do with religion.
“Worship” and “privilege” aren’t quite the way I’d put it, although that’s pretty cool when it happens. No, it’s just that I’ve found that any man who’s reserved in bed and considers oral to be unusual is not going to be a guy I find sexually compatible in the long run. I prefer not to waste my time educating him when I could just be having monkey sex with someone who shares my tastes and appetite. There are plenty of people who have lots of boundaries on sexual expression and they’re welcome to each other; I’m not one of those and it’s better for everyone if those with similar tastes stick together because there’s less conflict that way.
Besides, I like to suck dick and always go down on a guy the first time out (good way to check his hygiene habits if nothing else) and it would be just plain rude for him to not reciprocate so I don’t think I’m at all out of line. I don’t have room for lovers who are either prudish OR selfish and no oral kinda indicates it’s one or the other. Of course if I’m doing it with a chick then a “no oral” rule disqualifies her right outta the chute!
[semi-hijack]
There’s a fairly well-known joke in the US:
A couple was feeling a little horny on their wedding day, so before the ceremony, the bride and groom were making out, and the bride took it further and gave the groom a blowjob. Afterwards, each went back to their half of the wedding party. The best man sees that the groom has a huge smile on his face, and asks why. The groom says, “I just got the best blowjob ever.” Meanwhile, the maid of honor also sees that the bride has a huge smile, and asks why. The bride replies, “I just gave my last blowjob ever.”
Yes. She’s been doing this–out of (South) Korea-- in partnership with an American, for quite a while.
I really think the idea of Kim Jong-Il making a Flash video like that to be pretty hilarious. To be sure, he’s got some fanciful hair, but I never took him to be the arty type.
Hey, I didn’t say we don’t have names for orals, I said we’re more likely to go vaginal first! Much, much “firster”… I have problems wrapping my brain around the notion that “oral isn’t sex,” personally.
Oh, and a foreigner is more likely to get oral. After all, if you try to do it for your bf and he doesn’t like it and gets angry but can’t explain wtf is wrong, you have to live with him… if a stranger has that reaction, fuck him.
I’m still trying to parse Kim Jong-Il’s argument, If the tongue is the thesis, and the clitoris is the antithesis, the orgasm is the synthesis? Or am I misremembering how a ‘dialectic’ works? So long since college.
Perhaps I should rely on deconstruction and just tear the girls clothes off?
