Euphemism for "b**w j*b"?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
1

Please excuse the “M. Masterdomesque” tone to this query.

In normal conversation, not one intended to titillate or excite, I’ve come across a mental block when I need to say “blow job” – especially when genteel persons are about.

Supposed synonyms such as “fellatio” and “oral sex” fall short of describing this uninhibited, pleasurable, and often taboo, act. They are too scientific-sounding or vague respectively.

Is there another term, closer in meaning, which I can use around the fairer sex?

Voted Best Sport
And narrowly averted the despised moniker Smiley Master

Forward deployed until 18AUG00

2

Going downtown?

(I’d suggest ‘head’, but in your line of work that’s the bathroom, right?)

“If I pinch my nose with my fingers, close my mouth tight,
and blow real hard, I can make my ears bleed. It’s
not as cool as Superman’s X-ray vision, but it’s my own
special talent.”

3

Smoking the pink pipe?
Swallowing the baloney pony?
Gumming the green bean?

I guess these aren’t any better are they?

4

I don’t think there’s any genteel euphemism for oral sex.

My roommate used to call them “knobbers”. shrug

Wrong thinking is punished, right thinking is just as swiftly rewarded. You’ll find it an effective combination.

5

hum-n-a, hum-n-a

6

How about a ‘kneeling kiss’ ?
Descriptive yet cutesy enough not to get you into too much trouble.

7

Knob shine?

That’s about the only one that comes to mind for me.

8

Nothing to add to the list Chiefy but you did remind me of a euphemism for cunnilingus I recently heard.

“Eatin’ at the Y”

Ewwwwwwwww

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.

With love from the poster voted as having the "Most Confusing Username"

9

Pullin’ a “Monica”.

It gets the point across, and also shows that you’re up with current events. (Well maybe not all that current, but close enough.)

10

I got ya covered, Chief. This euphemism has a playful, lighthearted tone which is sure not to offend: “Honkin’ on Bobo”

11

I call 'em hummers.
And of course there’s always ‘giving the pearl necklace.’

PS- Got my postcard from Italy, Chief, thanks!

I will not celebrate meaningless milestones.

12

Gettin’ some lipstick on the dipstick has always been a fave of mine.

gettin’ the knob polished
gettin’ a hummer

New and Improved
Enright3

13

from: the Sexual and Scatological Euphemisms page: www.uta.fi/FAST/GC/sex-scat.html

Too many are kinda boring though.

FELLATIO –
B.J.
Blow
Blow Job
Blow the Whistle
Bone-Lipper
Chew It
Cop a Doodle
Cop a Stem
Drop on It
Eat Dick
Fluting
French Job
French Way
Get a Facial
Give Face
Give Head
Give Pearls
Gobble
Gobble the Goop
Go Down
Go Down for a Whomp
Go Down On
Gum a Root
Gunch
Head Job
Hum a Tune
Hum Job
Hummer
Inhale the Oyster
Knob Job
Lay Some Lip
Mouth Fuck
Munch
Open Wide for Chunky
Pipe Job
Piston Job
Play a Tune
Polish the Chrome
Polish the Knob
Serve Head
Slob the Knob
Smoke a Dick
Smoke the White Owl
Suck a Bondini
Suck Dick
Suck Off
Suck the Sugar-Stick
Sucky-Fucky
Swallow a Sword
Swing on It
Tongue Job
Worship At the Altar
Wring It Dry

14

from: the Sexual and Scatological Euphemisms page: www.uta.fi/FAST/GC/sex-scat.html

Too many are kinda boring though.

FELLATIO –
B.J.
Blow
Blow Job
Blow the Whistle
Bone-Lipper
Chew It
Cop a Doodle
Cop a Stem
Drop on It
Eat Dick
Fluting
French Job
French Way
Get a Facial
Give Face
Give Head
Give Pearls
Gobble
Gobble the Goop
Go Down
Go Down for a Whomp
Go Down On
Gum a Root
Gunch
Head Job
Hum a Tune
Hum Job
Hummer
Inhale the Oyster
Knob Job
Lay Some Lip
Mouth Fuck
Munch
Open Wide for Chunky
Pipe Job
Piston Job
Play a Tune
Polish the Chrome
Polish the Knob
Serve Head
Slob the Knob
Smoke a Dick
Smoke the White Owl
Suck a Bondini
Suck Dick
Suck Off
Suck the Sugar-Stick
Sucky-Fucky
Swallow a Sword
Swing on It
Tongue Job
Worship At the Altar
Wring It Dry

15

  • bobbing for apples

  • getting a Lewinsky

“Nothing is so firmly believed as what is least known” - Michel Gyquem de Montaigne

16

Heh – I remember hearing a bit in the news that after NBC’s Law and Order used the phrase, “Giving a Lewinsky,” to describe the act in question, Monica’s father complained to the network.

And I remember Leno’s sardonic observation, “Yes, it’s a shame how NBC sullied the good name of Lewinsky, huh?”

  • Rick
17

Okay, folks. I know many of you can’t resist the funny way out, so let me put it this way –

In my mind, it’s OK to say in mixed company: “I enjoy making love to my wife.”
It’s not OK to say “She gives good head”; “She gobbles the knob great”; or “She gives a good blow job.”

There has to be a less coarse term which is close in meaning.

Or maybe I’m just out in left field. Are women offended by the term “blow job”? I’ve never heard one use the phrase… even if they were “orally gifted”? Is acceptance of the term a function of willingness to perform the act maybe?

Voted Best Sport
And narrowly averted the despised moniker Smiley Master

Forward deployed until 18AUG00

18

I have never found a need for a euphamism but since you might ask a lady if you may tickle her uvula.

I’m astonished that you forgot what your recruiter told you: It’s not just a job, it’s an adventure.

19

hows about I enjoy being orally pleasured by my wife (or I enjoy orally pleasing my wife)

Sure, when …
“OINK FLAP OINK FLAP”
----well I’ll be damned!

20

Damn, you guys are going to get me fired. I was reading this thread and laughing hysterically.

We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another