That’s it! I’ve had it! I’m tired of finding ants crawling into bed with me, waking me up by biting me HARD and leaving welts! Finding you on countertops, dressers, floors, walls, etc really makes me cranky… cranki-er?
You smart mutha-fuckers have waged a war and Ortho was not winning, you decided to start coming in through the CEILING of all fucking places so I called in a professional to bring out the big gun and deadlier chemicals!
Die you meanie little ants with big sharp “teeth”! I hope you rot and DIE DIE DIE a painful agonizing death! You may be organized and persistant but I, the superior human, have the Yellowpages, a cellphone, and an exterminator!!!
ps I always thought fireants were red… but I learned that they can also be black. At least I’m not allergic, like my son is… and thank goodness he didnt get bit (or if he did, he didnt have a reaction like the he does with the red ones!).
If these are fire ants, they don’t really bite - they grab on with their nasty little mouthparts in order to get the proper purchase to sting you (the painful and lasting part of the experience).
My favorite part of Gracious Fire Ant Living was when they starting emerging from the electrical outlets (they are attracted to electricity).
It’s been 8 years since I lived in the deep South, and I still go on “alert” whenever working outdoors, if I feel an unusual or pinching sensation on exposed skin.
May I offer up for your consideration the idea of getting onto the ground to do PT at 5 am. And realizing about 1/3 the way through the sit-ups, that you’ve been PTing over a fire ant nest.
I hate those bastards.
I recall when I lived on Oahu as a lad that there was an abundance of fire ants there. I used to take shovel and snag a portion of their nest and toss it into a large glass jug. Then I’d find some black ants and toss them in there also.
They would wage pitched battle for awhile, and then they would kind of retreat to their “own sides” of the jug and reestablish building a nest, tending to eggs and larvae, etc, while there was this “no-man’s land” in the middle of the jug betwen them.
I feel your pain. Sorta. We’ve had these little black ants for a long time now, and when they first came in and I saw them, if they were only one or two I didn’t mind. An ant by itself is rather cute to me anyway.
Until one day one of them bit me, which really surprised me. I’m too used to SimAnt. The black ones are good guys, the red ones are black guys, the black ones aren’t supposed to bite.
I wasn’t even doing anything. It just crawled its way on my body and chomped down. And now its brethren do it too. Now they all must die and are no longer cute.
so far so good - no ‘bites’ from the fluckers in the last 2 days. It’s nice not to be startled awake with an agonizing sting on bare skin. I’m sure the SO appreciates the decrease in activity, especially since I told him I would be wearing head-to-toe pajamas if I continued to be bitten… so far, that statement continues to hold rank as a last resort.
Now, for the irony:
When I lived in NEB I had a gynecologist who was young and very attractive and had a great bedside manner. I adored him and it made the yearly visits much more easy to deal with (before I “found” him, I dreaded the gyn-doc and just would not go… kinda like what I do now). Anyways, I always test a Dr’s sense of humor and one explaining my reason for not seeing a gyno for the last few years, I told him that I would rather be tied up and staked to the ground (but that’s not all)
drenched in honey
(and that’s not all!)
naked - except for the honey
(good lord that’s still not all)
surounded by ant hills.
I’m starting to think having that yearly exam isnt such a bad thing…
of course, they didnt have fire ants when I was there! Red ants, yes, and they bit but they were tiny and didnt hurt so bad.
You gat a nested pitting just for reminding me of that. Or how about taking a 10 minute sit-down during an all day patrol and having the little monsters swarm up your back? yeah…good times.
Pixilated, are you sure these are ants? Unprovoked biting of people in bed at night seems unlike typical ant behavior.
In the SE US we have both native (relatively innocuous) and imported (nasty) fire ants, both black (less aggressive) and red (really, really vicious).
This may be TMI, but ants are close relatives of bees and wasps, and have the same ability to sting. It is the sting of the imported varieties that causes (as was correctly noted above) pustules rather than welts. Imported red fire ants will swarm to protect their nest, and an unlucky person who blunders into one can swiftly absorb dozens or even hundreds of stings. And an individual red fire ant making her foraging rounds will sting you if molested. But just laying in bed doesn’t seem to be an ant bite scenario.
If indeed they are fire ants, bait type insecticides are available, and give quite good local control. If you wish, here’s a link with perhaps way, way TMI – linky
