I’d like to hear it. They tell me it’ssomething like baseball.
Yeah, something like baseball, but without the need for gloves 
And with the extra excitement of being able to hit it in any direction you like…
Are you sure you want to know?
Imagine a group of guys had been sitting in a park all day, drinking beer. Imagine if they then realised they could not possibly tell their wives that’s what they’d been doing all day, so they decided to invent a sport that they could reasonably claim to be playing whilst not actually doing any exercise or anything that would conflict with drinking more beer. This is pretty much how they must have invented cricket, as it only makes even vague sense to me after a day on the piss.
Cricket, hmmmm… isn’t that the game invented by the English where most of the best players, and in fact best teams, are not in fact English? 
Like football, rugby, tennis and a few dozen other games now. We’ve got a new tactic - we just keep inventing one new game each year so we can be the world champions at it.
Sounds fair - it’s a big social thing, particularly in Yorkshire, where I play. You see, it does take all day - and when you’re waiting to bat, or have batted (you only get the one go…) you’ve got to keep yourself amused somehow.
And, I know it’s a cliche and all, but it’s actually a very demanding game. No, seriously! There’s no jogging in cricket. If you’re moving, then you’re moving as fast as you can. An example. Last June, I, despite the fact I was 18 and as fit as you can reasonably be (sub five-minute mile) with all that beer, I broke my hip playing cricket. It’s a high-stress game. Most fast bowlers fracture their lower vertebrae at some stage, for example.
Anyway. Enough of my rambling. I must be off to my bed. I shall return tomorrow (Hong Kong time) and you can find out more about the game, or take the piss. I’m happy either way…
CheersYeah, because it would be really boring to throw your sorry ass out again.
I’m really aggravated with the lot of you. This is NOT the way you make friends and influence people.
You want to stay here? Prove to me and the other moderators you’re able to see the error of your ways and maybe we can start over again. If you persist in obtaining new screen names not only will I keep throwing you out but I will also be talking to your ISP about your harrassment and abuse.
your humble TubaDiva
Administrator
Well sounds like you Brits and us Canadians are in a dead heat for first place for the most boring games ever invented. Ever hear of Curling? I’ll tell you all about it if you insist on educating me about cricket… (damn, now I’ve got to go read up on curling… let’s see that’s one skinny stip of ice, bunch of polished rocks, a broom, stretchy pants…)
Seriously, invented over here. The idea of men playing it in kilts in olden times is a bit scary though - lots of bending over and so forth.
An addendum: since you can’t post, you can drop me email at TubaDiva@aol.com
If I see posts from you in another screen name, the deal’s off.
your humble TubaDiva
Administrator
Really? I don’t believe it! Where’s all the head butting and swearing then?.. It must be Canadian. It’s so civil and clean with all that sweeping…
Seriously - perhaps we tried to take the ancient art of headbutting and turn it into a game by sliding dirty great big stones at each other across ice. You can see the transistion - starts off with people running headfirst into each other. Gets converted into a winter sport by sliding across ice head first into each other. After one winter where all the contestants drew last (a dead heat, if you will) they swapped over to using stones.
I certainly did think you were a troll, but I’m willing to let bygones be bygones. 'Course, I would be remiss if I didn’t point out that it’s up to the moderators, not myself.
So put 'er there!
I suppose that’s not too dissimilar to hockey. Used to be, the best Canadian teams didn’t have a enough teeth in all the heads of the players to fill a single adult mouth. Then came the helmets and the masks and the expansions teams… Would someone please explain to me what business Florida has playing hockey?!
Anyway, nice to have you on the board. Welcome.
Blowtorch!
Perhaps the admin will be so kind as to grace us with an explanation as to why Biffer was banned. This action seems strange given that he’d ‘kissed and made up’ with so many of you and was trying to engage in serious discussion.
This isn’t meant to be confrontational - I’m genuinely interested to know why. And so is he. 
Kissing up doesn’t count unless you do it to an administrator. Drop an email to me or Tubadiva, and convince her or me that you’ve learned the error of your ways.
Lynn
Administrator
For the Straight Dope
Kissing up doesn’t count unless you do it to an administrator. Drop an email to me or Tubadiva, and convince her or me that you’ve learned the error of your ways.
Lynn
Administrator
For the Straight Dope **
[/QUOTE]
We Scots are a proud race. I’ll not be doing any kissing - unless you’re both foxes
So why was he banned? Was it that business with posting the link on music365?
Well, if you’re a Scot, you don’t have to kiss up. Just send us some singlemalt, the GOOD stuff, not the stuff you export, though we do drink the imported stuff. Tubadiva’s a fox, she has glorious red hair.
I didn’t ban him, so I don’t know exactly why he was banned.
Stay tuned for the next episode of this soap opera!