Not At My Front Door (Or: Take your Religious Beliefs Elsewhere)

The BBQ Pit
61

Thanks. I didn’t have an answer when I asked. I’d say I’m usually rude to salespeople. A representative for a political party? I just say ‘no’, not being interested in debating with someone who probably only cares about one side of an issue. But the difference is politics seems to involve freedom of speech, whereas I’d need a LOT of convincing that anyone has a right to intrude on my privacy and sell something at my front door.

A religious door-to-door person . . . don’t know. Doesn’t seem to come squarely in either group. But people who are constantly harassing you seem more like salespeople – and so freedom of speech may not be involved.

Sadly for everyone, there are such poor religious spokespeople they might as well stay home. My mother used to fume about the Xian ladies across the street and next door. They had no powers of persuasion at all. Of course that didn’t stop them from trying. Result: hostility.

My solution, as I said – maybe the religious folks are more polite where I come from – is saying you’re not interested – without explanation. I tell the JWs I appreciate the honesty of what they’re doing, but I already have a faith. A polite smile helps.

Some of the other stories here (not yours, particularly) suggest that the people coming to the door have identified them as ones who . . . shall we say . . . are typical of those they’ve converted before? All that extreme behavior . . . hmmm . . . what are they so defensive about . . . hmmm . . . [gollum voice on] We wonders. Aye, we wonders. [/gollum voice off] Is it because they can’t argue? Or because they don’t understand the issues? Or are there things they’re afraid of talking about? Hmmm . . . Or maybe they’ve been identified as “good training ground” for rookies. :wink:

62

Matt_mcl, I don’t mind political candidates at all. If anything, I put it as a check in the plus column that they’re out there stumping door to door. [The incumbents around here generally don’t do that, sadly enough, and we only ever get city politicians.] But, again, I figure these people are potentially going to be in office, potentially making decisions that affect me and mine; I’d best listen to what they have to say and ask what questions I have. And as mentioned, I have never had a candidate come about and wake me up.

Besides, they generally have some free nifty refrigerator magnets or campaign buttons for my button collection. Wotta bargain!

Partly_Warmer, I’m sure they are probably still protected under freedom of speech, so long as they don’t get to the point of walking in my door uninvited. [What a thought. To wake up and find one of those three hovering over my bed. AUGH!]

They’ve been given pretty much every variant of ‘no, thank you’, and ‘no, I do not care to discuss the Bible or your religion, thank you.’ I’ve even told them I’m an agnostic. [Bad, BAD tactical error on my part.] Again, as best I can figure out, they assume that agnostic = incorrect and/or uninformed and/or not a valid religious philosophy, [or else, like many, they don’t know the difference from agnosticism and atheism]. They definitely think I’m slated for the Chick Express to the Pool of Fire. I think my husband isn’t targeted because while he is a disaffected Baptist, he is still a Christian. They also know we don’t attend church [they’ve gotten that out of my youngest stepson and it’s pretty obvious we spend Sunday together as a family, but not going to church.] Therefore, if I don’t attend church, and I am not of their faith, I need to be saved!

I’ll give them some credit for meaning well [although I have to wonder if what they’re doing is really as much for the glory of God as for the glory of bragging to their friends that they bagged a heathen convert], but it’s downright patronizing regardless. [Annie, you’d like this: one has expressed concern for me because I work. Apparently, that’s not appropriate in her lexicon. Although, she tried to get me to write a will for free for her, too. Heh.]

Actually, as far as extremist goes, these guys aren’t nearly as extreme as some folks I’ve met since I’ve moved down here. Two streets over, there was a guy who had one of those old rust-bucket VW vans that he’d painted over with religious slogans. The point seemed to be that there were two classes of people, Christians and hell-bound sinners, and he had a shotgun waiting to help the sinners along if they didn’t profess right away. [Of course, the misspellings and the rust holes could have interfered with my comprehension, but that seemed to be the gist. He’s serving time for child molestation now, interestingly enough.]

But still, I tread lightly around here. This is Texas, after all; we do have concealed carry…

63

Well, if you’re trying to be polite for the sake of your stepson, try this approach next time they come over.

“Look, I appreciate you’re Chrisitans. I am not interested in discussing this further. My spiritual beliefs are very personal to me and I do not talk about them. I’ve told you several times that I’m not interested, and for the sake of our sons’ friendship, I’m going to ask that this be the last time we talk about this.”

I would also encourage your stepson to make other friends, so you aren’t tortured on his behalf. (Although being tortured on behalf of your kids is the definition of parent.)

You’re sweet to try and maintain some civility with these people for the sake of your son. But you mentioned “They gotten [the fact we don’t go to church] out of my youngest stepson” so I wonder if they’re grilling him when he visits. Perhaps their son could come to your house instead?

Good luck, Lionors. Sounds like a sticky situation all the way around. I hope you get this resolved sanely.

64

That’s a really, really interesting definition of ‘walking towards a house’, since what he actually did was run screaming at the homeowner through an unlit area while wearing a mask and waving around a small, black object. Oh, and he was running at the side door after having been told to leave at the front door, and he had an American-born companion with him to interpret when they were told to leave at the front door. Looks more like ‘evolution in action’ than a paranoid homeowner to me.

65

Heh, thanks, Ivylass. I’m beginning to learn that about parentdom [or stepparentdom in my case, since I’ve no children of my own.] And that’s a very good answer; I know precisely which one of the two I intend to use it on.

My husband also came home with an engraved little plaque for ‘No Religious Solicitation’, which we’ve put up as well.

And if that doesn’t work, the 3 a.m. option is open; I’ve certainly got enough of a variety of religious and philosophical works on my own shelves to give me a good armful to take over. <evil grin>

66

Oh, oh, oh . . . (Jumping up and down excitedly) You have to go to NorthernSun.com! They have the “No Preaching” sign with a picture. Sorry if I seem a bit excited, but I just found that website, and it has some of the coolest stuff ever!
And by the way, this thread is one of the funniest things I’ve read in a long time. I’m just waiting for the next prosetilizer (sp?) to knock at my door!

67

“You didn’t recognize me the last time either!”

LOL Brilliant!

68

I made a sign that I put up over my doorbell one time, but my nutso wife made me take it down.

"This house only welcomes:
People we know
People we have invited or summoned
Uniformed Girl Scouts selling cookies

Solicitors and prozelytizers will be met with abject rudness,
outright hostility, and two very big and ugly dogs.

THINK ABOUT IT."
69

I live in a very heavily Baptist oriented region of the Orlando metro area, and I usually get two or three witnessing visits a week.

The solution? This doesn’t keep 'em from coming back, but it is good for getting rid of them.

Dogs. Two fun, furry Portuguese Water Dogs. When proselytizers arrive, I throw the front door wide open.

Bailey, the female, will stand back and bark loudly at the unwanted guests, while crouching in a play bow. Guinness, the male, is the big, goofy, lovey-dovey pooch. Joe and Jane Baptist can’t really talk Bible when there’s two dogs, one circling and barking, the other jumping and kissing.

70

I think a shocked look and an, “Excuse me, but I work nights and you just woke me up! Goodbye!” might work, at least in the short-term.

Esprix

71

Oh, and our large barking dog (that most likely would attack an unwelcome visitor) is not only an effective deterrent, but it makes conversation virtually impossible. Fortunately, the few kids we have in the neighborhood know that if they come to the door, we will buy candy from them.

The best part is seeing their faces when they ring the doorbell - often the dog doesn’t see them coming, so that’s her big clue. :slight_smile:

Esprix

72

aaahh…dogs and JWs… brings back memories of my late father…

after the first few times they came and were told “not interested” we used to find ways to deter them. My dad would watch them on the block, and release our German Shepherd in time she’d get to the gate just before them, barking loudly, hopefully sending slobber flying over the fence.

I used to answer the door and give the dog a slight tug on her collar, which I held. There was a small step up into the house, and the dog would rear snarling, so her teeth would be up near eye level on many Witnesses…

We used to debate the efficiency of our respective methods…pleasant memories…

I wonder if they have proselytizers in Heaven, so they can continue their game?

(the dog never actually came in contact with anyone, and seemed to know it was just a game. Never really tried to get at any)

(you had a few “not interesteds” politeness didn’t work. Maybe terrorism will? Do NOT come back.)

73

I’m shocked and frightened that you’d fall for the old candy ploy. Children often use the promise of candy to lure innocent homosexuals into danger. If one of these kids ask you to get on their tricycle and help look for their lost dog, say no and tell a policeman.

Re-Working Nights
If you want an easy and inoffensive solution try this-Open the door in rumpled pajamas and a bad case of bedhead.Keep your eyes half closed and sway slightly. Mumble and speak in sentence fragments.

“Have you been saved?”
“Wuh? Not time ta shave.”
“No, we want to talk to you about Jesus.”
“Have ta talk landlord bout leases.”

At some point, lean on one of them and do your best to look as though you’re actually falling asleep.

74

I wish someone had told me that when I was a child. Those nasty Girl Scouts! :frowning:

Esprix

75

The cookie thing is all propaganda to lure you back into heterosexuality, Esprix.

Except for those coconut cookies. Those are little pieces of heaven I hoard. If I wasn’t diabetic, I’d indulge as I did in my youth and down a quart of milk in the process.

DROOL

76

Tangent topic:

Those cookies don’t taste anything like Girl Scouts.

77

I don’t get it.

Why not just say “I am sorry, we are not interested,” and close the door? It’s always worked for me, absolutely without fail.

Sure, they might come back in six months. Frankly, I’m not going to drop common courtesy just to avoid a twenty-second conversation every six months.

I mean, some of these suggestions are pretty funny and all, and if I had a NO SOLICITORS sign up or they knew I worked nights, that’s legitimately a reason to be angry, but otherwise, what’s the big deal? They’re just people. Say “no” and close the door.

78

RickJay-
When you’ve got an easy to spot mezuzah on the door frame, fundy Christian missionaries tend to upset you.

“Have you found God?”

“No, that’s a load bearing mezuzah and the house would collapse if I took it down.”

If folks come to the door and ignore the obvious symbol of Judaism, they no longer deserve common courtesy.

79

I’ve had to sleep during the day before, and there’s no way I’d be cheerful about answering the door for the UPS guy, a girlscout with cookies to sell, a messenger with an important document, a neighbor, a political candidate, or a nutcake religious zealot. Sleep is more important. If it were me, I’d disable the doorbell during the day and arrange deliveries for a more convenient time or some other place. And I’d put a sign on the door that made it clear callers were unwelcome. Not sure what it would say, though.

Proselytizers are definitely annoying. But when it comes to waking me up from sleep, they are exactly as annoying as anybody else that does it.

80

When I was a teenager I told one of these door-to-door religion salesmen that I was a satan worshipper (I wasn’t, just an atheist). They have never come to my parents door again, even after several moves.