Not Coming To A Theater Near You

Annie Get Your Goon: She doesn’t shoot you. She has her big thug kick your ass.

**The Lovely Boners **- The sequel to The Full Monty, shot from the audience’s perspective…

The Fear of All Sums: Jack Ryan faces his toughest opponent yet: math-phobia!
**30 Seconds Over Kyoto: ** “Bombadier to Pilot, Are you sure you got the right map? Over.”

South by Southwest: The RIAA has to track down a person attempting to smuggle a bootleg MP3 out of a popular music festival. Directed by Brian de Palma.

Cold Fuzz: The exciting true story of the Antarctica police department

Pirates of the Carob Beans: Buccaneers seek to corner the chocolate-substitute market by hijacking shipments.

Raiders of the Lost Auk: A globe-trotting biologist vies to recover the last specimen of an extinct seabird.

Snakes on a Plain: Just as boring as it sounds.

Armenian History X: A militant Armenian begins to question his hatred of turks.

Snakes on a Plane. It’s flat, smooth, and featureless. They starve to death.
Snakes on a Plane II: The Incline. It’s a simple machine! The snakes still starve to death.

MyTrix:
Things get really strange when the Trix rabbit finds out he’s just a cartoon character.
“Silly Rabbit, will you eat the red cereal or the blue cereal.”

Irony Man: Superhero Tony Snark battles threats likeone hundred spoons when he needs a knife and blackflies in his chardonnay.

The Unbearable Heaviness of Being- A Czech bariatric surgeon is forced to do a procedure on himself to get his sex life going. John Candy’s last role, with Twiggy the object of his desire.

**Mean Streets of Fire **- A look back at the L.A. Riots.

12 Monkees: In this wacky, post-apocalyptic musical, Micky Dolenz, Davy Jones, Peter Tork, and Michael Nesmith have to go back in time to help prevent the death of billions.

Mariachi: Biopic of Liberace’s little known younger sister, Mary.

Gone With the Wind:
When Scarlet loses her clock factory she loses everything.

Tales From the Cryptic:
Only a genius could figure out what’s going on in this movie.

The Phantom Tollbooth Menace: A youngster finds a magic gateway to a place long ago and far away, inhabited by bizarre creatures. His seeming victory over the forces of darkness only sets the stage for a more insideous plot to succeed.

High Plains Grifter - A con man fools a town into thinking he is a gunfighter. Comedy and tragedy ensue when real gunfighters come to town and call him out.

All Gods Go To Heaven: where they fight it out, mano y mano!

Phantom of the Oprah: A disfigured madman haunts the set of a popular talk show.

Doctor Seuss: A strange man travels through time and space saving the universe. Story is told entirely in rhyme.

Annie-Kin: “The Force will come out, tomorrow…”