In response to CrazyCatLady I just apologized for being like “Dude WTF” because he was having trouble adjusting to his new job. I don’t want to hang out with him alone necessarily, I’m just bummed at the loss of the friendship.
Is this a generational thing maybe? We’re under 25 and girls hanging out with guys is no big deal. This is not some older married man I’m chasing after. It’s a guy I was friends with who suddenly got weird after he got a girlfriend.
Maybe he has boundaries issues or she does, who knows.
Either way it’s probably best to drop it. I just thought he was a cool person and felt annoyed when he suddenly got all weird but I guess that’s “really intense” of me.
Ascenray- he changed his mind when we were confirming show times for my other friend to get a discount for him/free admission for me.
Seriously? Just because you have a girlfriend doesn’t mean you can’t be with other females.
No, I don’t think it’s generational at all. I know a fair few women in your age range who think I’m absolutely insane to “let” my husband go to concerts and stuff alone with one of his female friends. There are plenty of other women in our age range (over 35) that think nothing of it–they neither praise nor censure, because it’s just an unremarkable thing that happens to work for the two of us. We have straight married friends who spend similar amounts of time alone with members of the opposite sex, because that happens to work for them. We have other friends of various ages who would never think of such a thing, because that doesn’t happen to work for them. (This is likewise neither a source of praise nor censure. There’s no One True Way, just whatever happens to work or not work for any two given people.)
The only thing I can think of that might be generational is the emphasis you keep putting on this guy not being married. I can’t see that it makes a whit of difference, myself–if someone’s relationship is important enough to them to set boundaries, it’s important enough to me to respect those boundaries without question or comment, regardless of how long-established the relationship is or what its official status might be.
I think I said once that he’s not married? In the sentence you quoted? I’m not really sure how that’s putting emphasis on it.
Anyway, I guess if it’s truly nuts and inappropriate to wish a co- worker well than so be it.
Girlfriend: Oh, you’re hanging out w/ that work supervisor again. I don’t remember her, was she that older lady?
Him: Oh no, she’s around my age. You know, she was about this tall, cute-
Girlfriend: Let me stop you there.