I’m shocked, shocked I tells ya.
Um, detail: you are 18, she is 17. That detail means nothing to you?
I’m ok with Romeo and Juliet exceptions, but that’s not what we were talking about. The hypothetical was a 30 year and a 15 year old.
I found where Stoid said she considered her rape ‘lesser’, not a generalized statement that ‘date rape’ is a ‘lesser rape’. Did I miss something? Or do you deny that a person has a right to consider their own rape on their own terms?
Yes. You missed that she said her experience was an example of a “lesser kind of rape,” and it was said within a greater context of a statement that “not all rape is equal,” and a rant clearly meant to disparage the idea that date rape is really rape. She also intimated that she was to blame for her own rape by callingherself a “slut,” who was “giving it away to almost anybody.” Those are characvterizations she cannot just make about herself wthout implying that other “slutty” victims also deserve it.
No, but Stoid apparently does. She’s the one who doesn’t think victims of date rape have the right to feel traumatized by it.
I dunno, how does the law separate between the driver who is kinda drunk and only drives a few blocks and the driver who is shitfaced and mows down a few kids while driving backwards on the highway.
READ THE GODDAMN THREAD.
Ah, “summarizing”. Kinda like “interpreting” or maybe “translating”. How about “paraphrasing”? It all sounds so much better than “making shit up to argue with.”
Be way easier if you skip the summarizing, since you suck at it, and just work with the material that’s right here not needing any “summarizing”. When you do that, I might return to discussing it with you. But I’m not your monkey, to quote Jon Stewart.
The point that I think Stoid has been trying to get across is that there is a sliding scale, a grey area, not a bright line that you cross and become an insane criminal “child”* rapist.
It sounds like you’d be OK with a 15 y/o and a 16 y/o getting it on. If there’s a 1 year difference Romeo and Juliet law, then that’s ok. But someone two months older than that 16 y/o does it, and it suddenly becomes a crime. What is the difference in moral culpability between the two? Virtually none. [note: I said moral, not legal.]
*A teenager is neither a child nor an adult, but something in between. I agree that a 30 y/o and a 15 y/o is scummy, legal or not, and so is a 20 y/o and a 15 y/o. But 19, 18, 17 and a half, when does the transition occur from “scummy” to “ok”? There’s no exact point. And I’d also argue that while a 15 year old may not be able to give fully informed consent, there is certainly a world of difference between a statutory rape and a forcible rape of an actual child, which even the law acknowledges.
And your actual cite as opposed to your opinion is what again?
doesn’t matter if I dispute it or not, I am asking for you to provide a cite to see if this is merely your opinion masquerading as fact, or something that is actually a fact on which I can take your word.
You have extracted a portion of a statement, and presented it out of context. She made it very clear that ‘lesser’ was her opinion of her own rape, not a generalization about rape.
Then you contend that any differentiation between rapes means that ‘date rape’ isn’t really rape. She never said that either.
She does seem to associate promiscuity with ‘deserving rape’. But that does not mean she has no responsibility for going to a bathroom alone with a sailor. It does not diminish his responsibility for his crime either, but it makes a difference in the way this problem is addressed. I’ll invite the flak here, what evidence of a rape is there in that case except her word. What if the sailor says she consented? Surely you understand the difference between an ‘alleged rape’ and a ‘rape’.
Okay, I’m not anyone’s monkey and I’m not going to do this for every post.
So, instead…
Cite? Cuz the quote you started with? Doesn’t qualify. “A lesser kind of rape” - I’ve made many many references to the fact that my point is that not all rape is equal. I was referencing an example of rape that is a “lesser kind”, which, in THIS example, counselor, happens to be the date rape that I personally experienced.
That is not even close to characterizing all date rape as a lesser kind. It’s especially distant from it when considered next to everything else I’ve said that is exactly on point.
CITE: Which means exact quote from my post, in context, without ignoring other posts that address the same issue. Interpretations are not cites. “Summaries” are not cites. Extrapolations of what you assume I am really saying are not cites. MY WORDS, UNEDITED, IN CONTEXT are cites. When you can show me those without then telling me what they REALLY mean (since, as in this case, they don’t mean what you absolutely sure they must), then I’ll bother.
I hav nevr heards anyone claim they misunderstood her. Many people are accused by her of misunderstanding though. AFICR, I have never been among them before.
Because she is unable apparently to reassese her thoughtds and actually communicate with others instead of spewing what is in her head and expecting ti to be gospel truth to all.
sure, she tries hard. No one disputes that. It is the effectiveness of the communicating and the unwillingness to restate, and willingness to attack anyone who does not totally get what has been brewing in her head for 35 years after reading a few paragraphs. Basically, she needs to have a editor to tell her straight, most of us here, we can handle that role oursleves in the context of this board at least.
I myself have not addressed her opinions in this thread, I only sought to clarify her assertions of fact in the OP. Has any clarification been forthcoming? No, instead she turned on me for even asking. Typical.
See? I’m not speaking some special language that only Nzinga and I understand. And since Nzinga understands me perfectly without the slightest bit of strain, I am certain it’s not me.
Thank you, Nzinga.
yes, she offered an opinion supported by supposed facts. I asked for clarification, because the reasoning was pretty bizarre. Not only bizarre, but shallow, in that her post did not even suggest a solution to the purported problem.
But it did read to me like she was asking us to offer redemption or something for the way she behaved prior to her being raped. I am sorry she was raped, but I was not there, I don’t know her, and so if she want’s this stranger’s redemption, she is going to need to provide a more substantive explanation.
So either way of reading it is weak to me. She is entitled to her opinion, but not entitled to expect that it makes sense to everyone else.
Stoid, why was your rape 'a lesser kind of rape? Becaue you didn’t care at the time? Because you weren’t upset afterwards? Because you were being slutty so you deserved it? Or what? If you could clarify what makes it ‘lesser’ that might help.
Yes.
And you have demonstrated that you are entirely reasonable and clear in your communication, here and elsewhere, please do not buy into the idea that there’s something wrong with you, most especially if the threads you find that you are struggling with persistent misinterpretation in are threads in which you are putting forth controversial or unpopular positions, or positions which are close to being such. If you find people are constantly struggling to understand your posts about gardening, you might need to figure it out. But I’m assuming that’s not what’s been happening.
That would be illegal, in California at least. An inappropriate use of the information on the registry, and precisely the sort of vigilantism that concerns people regarding the list’s existence in the first place.
Precious. Stoid is gonna lecture us about what the law says.
I thought you were going to ignore me?
I note while you take umbrage at anything anyone says that doesn’t fit your world view, you never are actuality able to produce anything other than the most shallow of rhetorical devices to support yourself.
I believe you that you are frustrated when people don’t get what you say. Perhaps a cause in communication is in order, after all, it is not ME that is complaining no one gets me.
You are missing the point. The point is, that you seem to want to ascribe categories or shades of “rape-iness” where the rest of society does not. It is up to you to make yourself clear and to persuade others unless you just like hearing yourself type.