Ah, but this is also from ‘Blazing Saddles’!
The Last Remake of Beau Geste
Digby Geste, in front of a firing squad:
You expect me to talk when all I could preserve is my own measly, worthless life? TOO BLOODY RIGHT, I’LL TALK! I’ll talk, I’ll talk, just try and stop me!
*Archie: All right, all right, I apologise.
Otto: You’re really sorry.
Archie: I’m really really sorry, I apologise unreservedly.
Otto: You take it back.
Archie: I do, I offer a complete and utter retraction. The imputation was totally without basis in fact, and was in no way fair comment, and was motivated purely by malice, and I deeply regret any distress that my comments may have caused you, or your family, and I hereby undertake not to repeat any such slander at any time in the future.
Otto: OK. *
John Cleese in A Fish Called Wanda.
How about the old Sicilian in “Catch 22”?
Nately: Don’t you have any principles?
Old man: Of course not!
Nately: No morality?
Old man: I’m a very moral man, and Italy is a very moral country. That’s why we will certainly come out on top again if we succeed in being defeated.
Nately: You talk like a madman.
Old man: But I live like a sane one. I was a fascist when Mussolini was on top. Now that he has been deposed, I am anti-fascist. When the Germans were here, I was fanatically pro-German. Now I’m fanatically pro-American. You’ll find no more loyal partisan in all of Italy than myself.
Nately: You’re a shameful opportunist! What you don’t understand is that it’s better to die on your feet than to live on your knees.
Old man: You have it backwards. It’s better to live on your feet than to die on your knees. I know.
Nately: How do you know?
Old man: Because I am 107 years-old. How old are you?
Nately: I’ll be 20 in January.
Old man: If you live.
Or the traitorous Cardinal in John Carpenter’s “Vampires”:
Cardinal Alba: Hello, Jack. From your expression, I assume you couldn’t understand my presence here. I’m sorry to disillusion you, Jack. As one grows old, as death approaches, we begin to question our faith. And I found mine lacking. Is there a God? Is there a Heaven? I can no longer answer this for certain. I’ve witnessed no miracles, had no visions, and the prospect of death terrifies me. I’ve realized I’ve only one alternative, and I made a bargain. With the Devil, if you wish.
Crow: You are truly a pile of dog shit, Cardinal.
Cardinal Alba (laughing): Yes, that’s right. That’s correct, Jack. And I can live with that.