My wife’s breasts developed early and often, and she was otherwise attractive, and as a result she got hit on by older guys regularly. Not necessarily Humbert Humberts, but high school seniors and slightly older. Maybe some Humberts, too, I’ll have to ask.
She said that she liked being able to tell those guys she was too young to date them (implying, or anything else). She liked having that protection from the predatory instincts of some older boys. (I know what you’re thinking – she was in her twenties when we first met, and so was I.)
Point is, age limits are an umbrella we as a society extend for the protection of our young. Not all of our young may appreciate them or need them, but I suspect most do. The arbitrariness of an 18 year old limit is there, but it’s a pretty good rule of thumb. While it may be frustrating for some, there’s just no NEED for underage people to be having sexual intercourse. They can do all sorts of sexual experimentation that doesn’t expose them to risks of pregnancy and STDs prior to 18, and then after that, it’s their option whether they screw the entire senior class.
As for looking at teens, hell, a lot of them would be hurt if you didn’t. I don’t know if guys ever stop looking at women, it is one of our chief pleasures in life. The key is just not to be creepy about it. Just because you’re lookin doesn’t mean your planning to jump any bones.
There is no NEED for much of anyone to have sex. But sex is one of the primary pleasures of human existance. Sex, in a word, is awesome. It is fundamental to the human experience. It’s beautiful. Sex is a good thing.
Teenagers are humans. They are sentient beings with the same kinds of hopes, dreams and desires that we all have. They have a bit less experience, but they are still intellegent beings with a meaningful understanding of life. And that lack of expereince doesn’t seem to hurt them too much. The “adults” I know don’t seem particularly good at keeping themselves out of messes and broken hearts.
Please, let’s not discount people because they are under eighteen. They are in essence the same as you and I.
No - I think she is saying that while young teenagers and even pre teens can look naturally or artifically alluring and sexually attractive, that should not make them bait for older predators.
The cases where a 12 year old is truly indistinguishable from a 21 year old are - IMO - rare. But, any man, knowing that sometimes young girls look older than they are, should take great pains to check first before acting on his impulse.
Because we know physically ready, or apparently physically ready, does NOT mean emotionally ready, which is the critical thing.
I find nothing wrong with a 16 year old boy finding his younger sister’s 14 year old friends attractive. I have no issue with him asking them on a date - to the prom, or whatever you merkins do
But I have huge issues with his 37-year-old uncle making advances to her. Particularly because the older the guy, the more aware he should be that no matter if she looks 18, or 21, or even 25 - she may well not be.
You’re right, I should have spelled things out more clearly. Kids can experiment sexually with other kids their own age as they have from time immemorial – kissing, petting, even oral sex. No danger of pregnancy there, maybe reduced dangers of STDs.
(I know you can get STDs from oral sex but I’m not sure how easily. The anti-sex crowd has left me sort of dubious about getting realistic info on disease dangers from sex, since to hear some sources tell it, just looking at a girl suggestively can give you and her STDs. And of course, there’s been tremendous misinformation on AIDS transmission.)
Once you reach 18, you can fuck anybody at any age. That’s the flip side of the protective umbrella – all kids are not magically more capable of understanding the consequences of sex at 18. But once again, it’s probably a good rule of thumb.
Sex is a good thing. I recommend it to all, highly. As I said in another post, sexual experimentation with kids your own age that doesn’t involve genital/genital or genital/anal intercourse is OK in my book.
But teen boys don’t NEED to be sticking their tab As in teen girls’ slot Bs. Fact is, teens are NOT the same as adults, that’s why we have laws to protect them. Teens can’t sign a contract, vote, go to war, drink beer, etc. for good reason. Same with sex.
They certainly aren’t dressing that way to attract grown men.
They dress that way because it’s what’s popular and cool. Their idols look like that. They dress that way to impress their friends, and to feel attractive. They dress that way to attract boys their own age. But teenaged girls don’t dress the way they do hoping some slovenly 45 year old married man with two mortgages and three kids will follow them through the mall hitting on them the entire time… Or that grown men will leer at them and shout out catcalls as they drive past…
I remember being 15-19 and having grown men suddenly paying attention to me. It was disturbing, and depending on the situation, sometimes frightening. And it was a constant. I always caught men looking at me and checking me out, or, wherever we went, my friends and I were hit on by older men. Even in malls, or on the sidewalk in the middle of the day. I didn’t like it, none of us did. I also think that the way we were hit on was crude–it wasn’t often politely done. Nowadays when I’m hit on, I’m treated much better. (I get talked to like I’m a real person and not just a collection of holes to stick a penis in.)
As far as how we presented ourselves, we wore what was cool at the time (which was baggy clothes, or short dresses) and honestly, whether I was covered in baggy clothes or wearing something short, the attention was about the same. I think it had more to do with my age than anything else. My body is the same (I’m the same size I was as a teen), and I think I’m still attractive. Plus I dress better now and know how to do my hair and makeup much nicer. I don’t get even a quarter of the attention I did then.
Let’s be clear that those “good reasons” are vague, and the lines that have been drawn are arbitrary. The ages for all those activities vary widely from one country to the next (even state to state within the U.S., for sexual consent), and there’s no evidence that ours are any more reasonable or produce better results than any others.
(In fact, they may produce worse results: compare alcohol-related problems in the U.S. with those in countries with lower drinking ages. The United States has a higher rate of alcohol involvement in fatal auto crashes than other countries including Australia, France, Germany, and the UK, where drinking ages are lower. Cite: U.S. Dept. of Transportation)
Your logic is circular - the existence of statutory rape laws doesn’t prove that minors are incapable of dealing with sex, any more than voting laws from the 1900s proved that women were incapable of choosing leaders. Unless there’s evidence to the contrary, we should presume that people can make their own decisions, regardless of age.
