So, I was shaving my legs yesterday, and I cut my leg. Not, however, the leg I was shaving at the time. It was the first time I was using a new shaving cream, and it foamed up a lot, so I decided I better shake it off the razor; I do it all the time, just flick it off and wash it away later. I don’t actually recall how it happened exactly, but in the process of shaking off said excess cream I managed to cut a good two inches of my other leg. I mean, I must have, because it started bleeding all over the place. Since I’ve never experienced the stigmata before, the only logical conculsion is I somehow dragged the edge of blade over that leg in mid-flick without realizing it.
I know I can’t be alone. Who else has injured themselves (minorly and sober) without knowing quite how it happened?
My niece, however, takes the award for the Strange and Unusual.
She was shaving her legs in the shower one day. When she stepped out of the shower, she discovered she had sliced a 2" long strip off of both ankles. As she stood there, bleeding from both ankles, I laughed and said, “Honey, if you wanted to commit suicide, that’s not the way to do it.”
I have numerous scars by my knees and even have matching scars. Same length, same spot, one on each knee. People think I had major knee surgery when they see them.
I did something to my left shoulder when I was playing paintball with my kid and his friends. I didn’t get shot there, I am right handed, and I have no recollection of banging my shoulder or wrenching my arm. It just started to ache deep inside the joint upon certain movements a day or 2 later. All I can imagine is that I did it while hurling myself around like a goofy teenager - which I haven’t been (teen that is - not goofy) for 3 decades.
It was 2 weeks last Sunday, and it isn’t getting any better.
Several times a year, I fall down for no apparant reason. Usually I don’t get hurt, but today I bit it while crossing a street. It was a slo-mo fall where I thought I was going to save myself, but just as I regained my balance my backpack shifted throwing me off balance again. I slid across the street a bit, scraping my hands, right elbow and right knee. Something is also wrong with my right calf muscle, making me limp when I walk. Luckily it was lunchtime near the only strip of restaraunts in walking distance of campus right in front of a Big Red gum give-away, so there were only hundreds of people around to witness my mortification.
I was trying to push a needle through three sheets of matboard as I was mounting a license plate frame inside a shadowbox frame at work yesterday. I was using a thimble, it was plastic and suddenly the needle went <em>through</em> the end of the thimble.
And into my finger. It was the end that string goes through, too.
I’m taking my metal one from home with me tomorrow.
I always get these unexplained cuts and bruises. There was the time I got one when my friend Josh came up to visit me from Bellingham in July. Neither of us noticed it at the time.
A few days later, my sister noticed it. She knew only that an Internet friend had come to visit me, and asked about the scar from the cut I’d somehow sustained. When I told her that I didn’t know where it came from, and that I hadn’t noticed it until the day after my friend came to visit… her conclusion was that I must have a shady friend.
That was definitely not the truth! Still, I have no idea how the cut happened. Oh well… the unexplained mysteries of life make it more interesting, eh?
