Tonight was the first night in over a year that I cut myself shaving. However, this is no ordinary razor cut, I cut the very top of my upper lip on the lip itself (i’ve never done this, i guess I got a bit careless). Anyway, it bled for about an hour afterward. It stung quite a bit too, so now I have this ugly scab forming. Attractive, no? I’m just hoping that all the movement on my lips doesn’t cause it to start bleeding again.
Anyway, anyone else do something that silly to themselves?
Ahh, welcome to my world. Specifically, welcome to my 6’9 world where low flying objects tend to hurt. I have had the pure joy of standing up a couple of times underneath a moving celing fan. I then promptly dropped to the ground. Every now and then I also have issues with doorways and signs hanging from the ceilings in stores.
And I swear, I am not clumsy.
Have you voted for your favorite, huggable Mullinator today?
My friends nicknamed me Grace… for “graceful” I could go on with weenie moves I have made causing minor injuries to myself.
Some of my faves are:
When my ex was in college and home studying one night I was trying to be quiet as I roamed around the apartment. Of course, the quieter you want to be, the noisier you are. I opened the fridge door and the wooden bubble gum machine that was sitting on top flew off and smacked me in the head. Three hours at emergency waiting for stitches.
The day of my sisters wedding, I’m maid of honour and at the last minute I decide to shave my legs. I tore all the skin off the front of one leg and ended up having to wrap the whole leg up because it wouldnt stop bleeding.
At a bush party in high school, running down a hill with a girlfriend as we find our way in the wild so she can pee. She lets go of my arm and I fall into a gopher hole breaking my ankle.
Camping along the river with my dad when I was 16. We had spent the day fishing and I went to pee (peeing can apparently be quite dangerous for me) and fell pack into a very prickly bush. Imagine how embarassed I was when dad had to pull them all out of my butt. Probably one of the most humiliating experiences either one of us had.
Anywho… you get the drift.
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
Not to mention how dangerous you are with the dreaded curling iron Sue!
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
Heh! well until now I’ve been able to convince people that the scars on my forehead are birth marks
We are, each of us angels with only one wing,and we can only fly by embracing one another
yesterday my son bought a skateboard.
he saved for weeks and finally had enough to buy one.
being a cautious mom,
i sprung for knee, elbow,wrist pads, he has a bike helmit.
being a responsible mom
i was supervising as he skated around a parking lot. he took to it pretty quickly
being a curious mom,
i grew up on a farm, and never had an chance to leard how to ride a skateboard, it looked like fun. i asked him if i could ride it.
being a remarkably dumb mom
i have a twisted knee, a sprained wrist and ankle, a huge bruise on my hip, most of the skin is gone from my elbow and forearm, the board flew up and knocked my jaw out of joint, i bit my tongue, my back hurts.
I’m pink therefore I’m Spam
You’re gonna love this one:
When I bought my living-room table, it came it sections. The sections were bound up with rope that was attached to the underside of the table by staples.
I wanted to remove the staples, so I was pulling them out with pliers. One was very stubborn, and took a pretty good tugging.
Being the bright guy that I am, I positioned myself very poorly and, when the staple finally gave way, I thwacked myself over my right eye with the handle of the pliers. I literally saw stars and fell over backwards.
When I went to the bathroom to check it out, I had a wicked cut perpendicular to my right eyebrow. Fortunately, it didn’t bleed very heavily. And, honestly, it was a pretty wicked-looking battle scar. But I still felt like an ass.
Oh, God! I haven’t laughed this hard in ages! Sue, if you have more stories, I need to hear them!
I was bounding down my basement stairs the other day (the same ones my wife fell down and broke both of her ankles) and I decided to hop down the last five or six stairs in one swoop. Mr. Brilliant not remembering that there is barely enough head clearance when I WALK down the stairs, let alone jumping. I leaped into the air and smacked my head right into the wall that hangs down. I walked around for a week with a huge bruise on my forhead.
Well, just yesterday, I pulled out a dish from the oven (containing my famous “Cashew and Tomato Pâté en Croute”) from the oven. I was only wearing an oven mitt on one hand, and I realized (for the umpteenth time) that our oven mitts are old and need to be replaced, because I could feel my hand starting to burn! The dish starts tilting towards the right, I’m yelling “out of my way” at the dinner guests, and before it falls down I cleverly grab it with my (unmitted) other hand. I had some nice blisters to show off during dinner.
You have my sympathy, Mullinator. . . being 6’4", I walk into a lot of things myself. Those extra five inches must be a real pain. . .
I think I’ve already told my tee-ball story in another thread, so I’ll just go over it quickly here. When I was about ten I hit the ball into a tree and decided to pull on the elastic cord to get it free. Naturally, the cord came loose from the ball, whistled back, and hit me in the nuts.
Actually, I didn’t have much luck with cords of any type when I was a kid. When I was about twelve, I was having a water fight with some friends and ran full-speed into a clothesline. One minute I was running, the next moment something grabbed me by the neck and threw me flat on my back.
And don’t remind me of the time I drove our riding lawnmower into a tree at top speed.
If a bird doesn’t sing, I’ll wait until it sings.
At least Ill know which one is you at the meeting Doob.
Promise not to make me read lips.
Heh heh…if cords are dangerous, how 'bout bicycle chains?
My husband’s big brother, as a kid, was out with his friend playing ‘lion tamer’ with a bike chain…it was the friend’s turn to hold the ‘whip.’
18 stitches in the head later, he learned not to play with bicycle chains.
We could swoop over trees
And sweep under carpets
We could dive into suns
Tho’ it’s not recommended
Echoing Enright, I haven’t laughed this hard in a many a long age. Sue, are you sure we aren’t twins separated at birth?
Hello, my name is Veb and I’m a klutz. True fact. Not necesarily ungraceful, but just attract disaster like cow flop attracts flies.
Example: the day before I leave for grad school I go to a Labor Day picnic. I’m barefoot, playing volleyball; slam my foot into a broken off croquet stake and break 2 toes. So I start school with a foot so swollen the only thing that’ll fit it is my mother’s house slipper (pink plush).
Example: (just before Christmas this year) I took a nap; the woofer heard me stirring awake and hopped up onto the bed. As usual, she flops down on pat my face with her paw–but misses and rakes a claw right over the center of my left eye. Intense pain, tentanus shot, gazillion doctors appts. and I walk around looking like Bill the Cat for 2 weeks.
Similar to Enright, I was with my penfriend, trying to be a fun nice guy and show how cool I am… when i leap off a step in a shop, and smash my skull against a low beam.
I tell ya, one day in the future I’m gonna have seizures because I’m sure I must’ve sent a sliver of skull into my brain.
Anyway, the other memorable doofus thing I’ve done is I was trying to cut off the top of a drink bottle to make it into a handy dandy funnel, and I was pressing down hard on the knife blade with my finger to cut through the plastic - but it didn’t seem to want to go through the bottle. So I pressed harder still.
Oh. And then I turned the knife the right way up.
Oooooh, that was a deep cut!
The Legend Of PigeonMan
Shadow of the Pigeon -
Weirdo of the Night
I think I’ve shared this before, but I just wanna again:
Walking down the hallways at school, and I enter this large clear area, near the music room. Next thing I know, I’m pretty much horizontal, a couple feet off the ground. I seem to have pivoted around an axis passing through my hips. Of course, I’m not Superman, so as soon as there’s nothing below me, such as my feet, I fall. Nothing hurt except my ego. Actually, I was too busy laughing at the absurdity of the whole thing to be embarrassed, so, not even that.
Then there was the time I broke my arm playing Win, Lose, or Draw…
Along time ago OOOh I guess 50 or 60 I remember as a boy growing up on the choad farm, ya see choads were these black kinda oversized sperm with legs, and well we harvested em by the thousands in big metal vats, and well we had a mule to and one day I was smackin a watermelon around with log and that Jack ass if you will kicked me right in the head, put me out for two days, ain’t talked right since.
I mentioned this once before, and I think I said there was no possible way I could explain exactly what happens, but I’m gonna try anyway.
About a week and a half ago (it wasn’t last Shabbat, it was the Shabbat before that), I stuck my right thumbnail into my forehead, making a gorgeous little crescent-shaped red mark in the middle of my head! It hurt like hell and it’s still slightly visible. I was wearing a shoulder bag (something I NEVER do…I’m one those backpack-wearing college kids) which I had taken almost everything out of because it was Shabbat. I hooked my thumb into thr strap to pull the bag off my shoulder, and to put it mildly, pulled WAY too hard, expecting to meet with greater resistance. Somehow, my hand shot up and met…my head. I’m not really sure if that description makes a lot of sense, but suffice to say…it was bad, it was ugly, I felt amazingly stupid.
“This is my sandbox. I’m not allowed to go in the deep end. That’s where I saw the leprechauns.”
I can relate to this! Although I’ve never broken anything (yet), I’ve tripped, bumped, fallen so many times that it’s become second nature. Now I’m worried I’m going to trip or fall flat on my face this summer when I’m in a wedding party. ::sigh::
“I thought: opera, how hard can it be? Songs. Pretty girls dancing. Nice scenery. Lots of people handing over cash. Got to be better than the cut-throat world of yoghurt, I thought.” - Seldom Bucket