Now I know why I don't watch wrasslin' anymore, it's more yakkin' then wrasslin'

The BBQ Pit
1

Earlier this week I went over to a friends house to hang out, shoot some pool, watch some tv, etc. His housemate also had some people over and they were 1 1/2 sheets to the wind, and as a result, were a bit noisy. Not a problem, it’s not like pool halls are all that quiet, plus I’m not that good a pool player to be able to demand quiet when I play.

Anyway, his firends apparently always watch the wrasslin’ shows, so they turned on the Tv and settled in, with beer and wine coolers at hand.

Note: I’m 34 and yes, I used to watch wrasslin’ fairly regularly, hell I used to rent the WWF videos from Erols Video, but I grew out of it by my freshman year in high school. These guys watching it were in their mid-to late 20’s.

They had the sound turned way up, and the constant shouting form the Tv drew me over to take a look.

I thought to myself, " *This{/I] is what passes for wrestling nowadays???" I watched for the better part of 2 hours and of the two hours (excluding the commercials) there was maybe 20 minutes of actual wrestling. The rest of it consisted of various half-naked, sweaty and fairly grotesque looking men screeching and bleating and shouting into microphones while staring into the Tv camera, or the same half naked men taking about 5 minutes to make their way to the ring, as well as a number of ladies who could perhaps best be classified as whores.

I was astounded that people watch this shit, and on a regular basis. When I said that out loud, one of the regular watchers spent the next 1/2 hour explaining how it was all really cool because the shouting and screeching bits were the storyline and were some times even better then the wrestling.

Then why even bother to have the actual matches, just have these sweaty half naked guys go on Jerry Springer.

Y’see, back when I watched wrestling, it wasn’t on cable. It was on Saturday mornings and afternoons and it was the WWF and the NWA. Yeah, they interviewed the wrasslers, but they were very, very short segments, not lasting more then 2-3 minutes. The matches were the thing.

I remember seeing Andre The Giant being attacked by Killer Khan and being beaten with a crutch.

I remember seeing The Iron Sheik beat Bob Backlund for the WWF championship and then seeing Hulk Hogan beat The Sheik to take the belt.

I remember seeing the steel cage match between Bob Backlund and Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka wherein Snuka climbed to the tope of the cage and jumped down to cover the prone Backlund, only to have Backlund roll out of the way at the last second and then cover Snuka for the pin. Snuka had 4 broken ribs as a result of the failed leap.

I remember The Road Warriors, The Four Horseman (Rick Flair, Tully Blanchard, Ollie & Arn Anderson), The Rock & Roll Express, Dusty Rhodes, Nikita Koloff, Ron “Hands Of Stone” Garvin, The Midnight Express, Magnum TA in the NWA.

I remember Rex & Spot, The Moondogs, managed by Captain Lou Albano, Mr. Fuji & Mr. Saito, The Junkyard Dog, Superstar Billy Graham, Greg “The Hammer” Valentine, “Mr. Wonderful” Paul Orndorff, Rowdy Roddy Piper, The Magnificent Muraco, George The Animal Steele, “Adorable” Adrian Adonis in the WWF.

All of those guys actually wrestled, they didn’t stand there bleating and shouting into a microphone for 10 minutes. They didn’t need to.

It’s sad and pathetic what “professional” wrestling has become.

2

Now the trick is that if you want to see a match, you’ve got to dole out thirty bucks for a Pay Per View. There are still wrestlers who put on hella good shows - enjoy a nice Benoit, Guerrero, Mysterio, Angle, or Ultimo Dragon match some time. The problem is that now that the WWF/E has purchased all of its competitors, it no longer has to put on a competitive program.

3

“Mr Wonderful” Paul Ordorff rocked like three the hard way. I loved it when he would dig the stretcher out from under the ring and throw it into the ring before the match.

4

Here’s one who hasn’t been mentioned.

I always liked Greg “the Hammer” Valentine. He was a great heel who displayed a real sense of menace. I learned to do the figure-four leg lock by watching him and when my friends allowed it, I could cinch it in and exert some real pain.

I remember his battles with Pedro Morales emanating from the time he suplexed him on the concrete floor outside the ring. He probably wouldn’t fit in with today’s chiseled, roided-up warriors but I always thought he was one of the greats.

5

What are ‘wine coolers’?

6

Popular zombie beverage?

7

I was going to post a link to the Bartles and James site, but they are no longer wine coolers. They are now malt coolers.

8

One word: DVR. Fast forward to the action. You can watch RAW in 10 minutes that way.

9

AFAIAC, professional wrestling died when Pittsburgh’s own Bruno Sammartino retired in 1981.

You want real wrasslin’? It’s too bad that, at 34, you are way too young to have experienced the glory that was Studio Wrestling. Now that was wrasslin’! Bruno Sammartino…Dominic Denucci…Tony “The Battman” Marino… Truly, giants walked the Urth in those days.
Those clowns they got doing the announcing and the promotions these days wouldn’t make a pimple on Chilly Billy Cardille’s ass, nor that of Pie Traynor. Of course you don’t watch wrasslin’ on the tv no more…It ain’t been around for thirty year or better.

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Flavored low-alcoholic beverages, available wherever beer is sold, that I’ve seen. (U.S.)

11

All I got to say is that CM Punk is *really *fuckable. Really, really fuckable.

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There was a South Park episode about this, wasn’t there?

13

I think you wanted this thread.

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Seeing as this thread is something like 9 years old, this person (who is BANNED and probably not reading along anyway) is not 34 anymore, but probably in his 50s or something. So maybe he did experience that glory!

I understand that this board now has a different approach to people zombyfying threads, and it’s not like I care, but I gotta wonder - how the hell do you go about re-opening a 9 year old thread? I mean - how do you find the thing in the first place? Do you just search the boards for ‘wrasslin’ and comment on every single thing that comes up? It just makes no sense to me.

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Heh. Would be quite a trick to be 34 and 9 years later be 50 something. Does bannination add 10 years to your age?

16

It’s possible. I am sticking with it. I sure feel like I’ve aged a decade over the last three or four years :smiley:

17

To the OP… “God bless you sir”…
(Hold up four fingers in the memory of JJ Dillon… Ric Flair… Arn Anderson…Tully Blanchard… )

Its really gone to shit… I think I stopped when Eddie Guerrero died. and Chris Benoit killed his family… just… didn’t care for all the yakkin and half naked women… John Morrison? Seamus? The Miz?? nahh… just like rap… its something i used to really enjoy that i look at sideways now…

19

spam reported.

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Yeah, sorry about that folks. I actually feel a bit flushed writing this.

Before posting in the other thread, I ran a quick search for “Greg Valentine” and this thread came up. Then I cut and paste into this rather than that thread.

And I swear officer, I had not been drinking. Sheesh, after 12 years you’d think you’d know your way around the place a bit.

Mods, can you please close?

21

Can we rewind to 2003 when someone would give a shit? :wink: