If there is one, the OP should talk to them. If there isn’t one, they may feel free to ignore my advice, since it is inapplicable. Not too complex to understand, I hope, for an OP who is apparently capable of holding an adult job. Was there a reason why you asked in that snippy way?
First of all, thanks everyone for all the replies.
Second, in response to some of the question and comments, this will be the third time he’s been reported to HR, second time for inappropriate sexual comments. I and a co-worker have attempted to tell him that he needs to watch what he says (I said it more diplomatically than that, though). I’ve also told him that I don’t feel comfortable being privy to others’ performance reviews (he’s shown me others’ reviews and discussed personnel issues with my colleagues) and requested that he provide me and others with more specific feedback instead of, you know, taking us down a notch or two, and he just really doesn’t get it. I truly don’t think he realizes what he’s saying is wrong, or if he knows it’s wrong, just doesn’t think it applies to him.
I have been documenting carefully and saving my documentation on an outside e-mail address. I hadn’t thought to get a lawyer, though. It might be good to consult with one, particularly since the last time he got talked to about sexually inappropriate comments, he only got a hand slap.
Also, I am not a member of a union, though if I were, there’s a good possibility that this might be easier (I’m not familiar with union structure, though).
Urgh. This sucks. This is the very first time I’ve ever felt compelled to do this and, even having done it, I still don’t feel better.
Don’t feel bad. Look at it this way- you’re providing him with an opportunity to better himself, which enriches not only those around him, but him as well. You’re doing him a favor. You’re fighting his ignorance on appropriateness in the workplace.
Yes, even if they fire his ass, you’ll go down as a “complainer”. Chimera is right.
HR is not your friend. Update your resume and post it now.
Yeah, I kinda figured that. I’ve been in discussions with the company I came from for about eight months - I’ve done some consulting work for them and they’ve recently requested my resume for a full-time position. Guess it’s time to get more serious with that relationship and start forming others.
I didn’t see it mentioned, but keep all your documentation on something not belonging to the company. A flash drive, personal laptop, email home daily notes and journal entries, anything. Just don’t keep it as a Word file on your company desktop. If you’re fired suddenly you won’t have time to retrieve it.
Good advice, but she’s way ahead of you there.
This is why at-will firing should be against the law. Shit like the OP is scared of would never fly in my country, there’s no way you would risk being fired over bringing a case like this to HR, the CCMA(Labour Board) would have a field day.
The sort of firing people are talking about here doesn’t generally fly either. You can’t fire someone because they lodged a complaint about laws being broken. But at small companies, they often are stupid - and your only recourse is a lawyer or the EEOC…both are pains in the butt…so they often get away with it. Also, small companies are sometimes put over the edge by such complaints, and close up, no company, no job.
At big companies they won’t fire you - they have staff attorneys that tell them that would be stupid. They may make your life so darn uncomfortable you want to leave, and eventually do.
Oh, hell. Got an e-mail from my boss’s boss for lunch. The other people who were having problems were also invited. She wouldn’t just fire us all, would she? She’ll probably just see if they corroborate my story and target me, correct?
A lot of it is going to depend on the size of your company, whether it is public, private or family owned, the prevailing culture and the industry you are in.
Typically what will happen is “nothing”. HR or in this case your bosses boss will probably get everyone together for a touchey feely work out your feelings session. The problem person will likely keep you at arms length going forward to avoid getting into any conflicts. The potential issue with this is that you may also be excluded from projects because the boss doesn’t want to deal with you.
Just out of curiosity, did you ever speak to your boss directly about the issue?
My impression is that this is likely positive. Lunch is a congenial gesture.
If the boss’s boss were going to have you disappeared, you’d not be all brought together for the occasion. There is strength in numbers. You’re being brought together to update you, collectively, and reassure you, collectively, that the company is going to do something.
I did attempt to speak to my boss, but he really had no idea what I was talking about. As in, just could not understand that what he was saying was inappropriate and why. For example, he told me what was on a colleague’s performance review and just didn’t get why I felt I shouldn’t hear it. I actually had to get up and leave to avoid hearing any more.
And I’m not too concerned about being excluded from projects. That’s actually part of my problem - I’m not brought in on projects soon enough and I’m the only one in the company with my expertise, so they can’t really avoid it. My boss likes to keep all information very close to the vest, so much so that most people in our department have trouble doing our jobs.
Again, thanks for all the responses.
Just to be clear, retaliation is MUCH easier to prove than the underlying harassment. If you got fired tomorrow, it would be very, very stupid of the company. I don’t want to get into legal advice, but you would do well to discuss the situation with an attorney if you are getting the sense that ANY adverse action will be taken against you for filing a complaint.
Many employment attorney work “on contingency” meaning at no cost to you unless you win; instead they take a percentage of the winnings – the initial consultation is normally free.
You can google “[your state] bar referral service” to be referred to an attorney.
I worked with a physician who regularly greeted me (and other female staff) with “Hello there, you gorgeous hunk of femininity”.
He thought it was a compliment.
I told him I did not like him saying that to me.
He persisted.
I told him I thought it was demeaning to call me a “hunk” of anything, that it implied that I was not human, only body parts. And to be a “hunk of femininity” implied that, to him, I was nothing more than “tits and a crotch”.
He persisted.
I wrote a complaint to the medical director. The medical director set up a conference call between the three of us and we talked about my complaints. This doctor said “I have the utmost respect for you as a physician”. I said “Then call me Doctor.” I don’t know what else was said after I got of the phone, but he finally quit saying that phrase to me.
Wow, its been 14 years since that happened, and I’m still pissed!!
I kept that job for another 6 years, so it did not cause any problems for me.
I wrote a letter to the medical director complaining about the sexual harassment.
Location: London. (for teacake, not overlyverbose)
In Western European countries, there is always a union. They’re very different from USA unions in many other ways.
Right, they won’t* fire* you. But promotions will pass you by, and when the 20% of all staff lay-off occurs, you’re name will be in the “out box”.
You don’t get fired, because that is stupid.
You get shitty assignments.
You get asked to work additional hours and weekends and other hours they know are inconvenient for you.
You get told blatantly illegal things to your face that they won’t put in writing.
If there is any minor disciplinary shit in your file, it gets dug up and reprocessed with higher levels of punishment.
Likewise, other minor shit becomes worthy of major discipline.
Nothing you say about anything carries any weight.
Other people are quietly informed that associating with you can hurt their career.
Hell, I’ve been places where the bosses brag that they never fire anyone. The reason is that they just make your life a living hell until you quit.
Add my voice to those who said document. I recommend getting a Mead Composition notebook or something similar, which will better show that nothing has been pulled out of the notebook. Writing is better than keeping an electronic version because it shows that nothing has been edited. Try to update it every day, even if there is nothing new to say. Just say April 18th, no new incidents today.