Cervaise, will you be my conselieri?
Damn, Veb, I’m sorry that this is causing you pain.
Everyone here has covered the appropriate tactics, especially Cervaise. You certainly don’t owe her any fair and helpful treatment, but you do owe yourself that high road, because it is your nature to do so.
From knowing you here, I can’t imagine that anyone would be misled as to your good character. Grit your teeth and consider it a favor that you enlighten this woman about proper behavior. She’s lucky that lesson will be coming from you and not a mean spirited soul.
Good Luck on this slope of a Monday…
Don’t let this Twinkie get ya down!
{{{{VEB}}}}
What Mags, Lost and especially Cervaise said.
This sort of BS must be confronted immediately, in force and without mercy. Cervaise’s strategy sounds excellent. All I can add is that this simply reeks of harassment!
Now, to the details. Document, document, document! If possible get witnesses to the rumor-mongering. You need at least one person who is willing to sign an affadavit testifying to the fact that this guttersnipe spread these false allegations.
Come down on this rectal cavity like a ton of bricks. Give no quarter in battle. Your professional reputation is on the line and any slack given on your part will merely serve to lend weight to the accusations. You must rally every backup and call in all of your markers on this one.
You may wish to submit a sealed letter to your personnel file. Make sure that the person who receives it from you signs and dates the envelope containing your response. I will go with Cervaise in saying that you should try to quash this one solo to begin with. If that does not work, you will need to go to HR with this. It is for this reason that I recommend the sealed letter. That way you have the pertinent facts on record early in the game, but have not irreversibly involved HR yet.
Again, this is straight out harassment. You are entitled to come out with guns blazing and your opponent should expect no less. I have dealt with you on these boards and through emails enough to know that you are innocent of the accusations involved. Quite simply, fire her @ss right away. This is no time for tea and sympathy. This ingrate is a threat to your career and must be dealt with accordingly. If you are half the professional I think you are, then your record will speak for itself. If needed, line up letters of recommendation from associates.
You may wish to challenge this weasle to produce a written account of her accusations (great libel evidence). If she is unwilling, demand an immediate retraction and then fire her anyway. You need her out of there so fast that you’ll hear the popping sound of air rushing back in to fill the space she once occupied. I will repeat the one fact that no one else has pointed out here. This is harassment. You need to pursue the matter on this sort of legal level. Most of all, do not resort to any dirty tricks. Maintain your professional decorum in the company of others.
Carrying yourself with professional dignity will be one of the most important antidotes to these vicious rumors. Long after she is gone it will be remembered that you did not stoop to her level. Get her nasty little butt terminated ASAP, but do it correctly and legally. This is definitly the time to fight fire with fire. I’ll repeat myself and all of the others and say DOCUMENT everything. Get the sealed letter in your HR file if possible and call her on the carpet for the slime mould that she is.
And now for something I have only done once before:
{{{{{Veb}}}}}
If ever there was an occasion for online hugs, this is one of them. Best wishes to you. Please let all of us know about the outcome of this situation. We are all rooting for you. Tear this rotter a brand new one and give her our compliments while you’re at it!
Thanks so much for the support and words of wisdom, guys, here and by email. I’ve read and reread everything you’ve written. It’s helped clarify my thinking a lot. Heck, it’s gotten me started THINKING, period; before I mostly pacing the floor and muttering.
I want to get a good night’s sleep tonight because tomorrow’s gonna be a heller. Thanks to you folks I have a fairly sound idea of what I’m going to do but I want to spend a little more quiet time just thinking it over again. I’ll be checking the boards again in the morning but probably won’t get to post until late tomorrow night (evening meeting). But I’ll let you all know what happened and how it came out.
Most importantly, my sincerest gratitude and thanks to all of you. One more time I’m reminded how thoughtful, supportive and caring people around here really are. Your help has made a huge difference and I’m in your debt.
Veb
Nothing new to add, just a recomendation to be strong and either get her out of the organization (my recommendation) or make sure she is severely reprimanded.
No doubt as I write this, you’ve alreaday taken action. I hope it went well. This is the hardest part of management, but it’s extremely important to do what needs to be done and not just let it slide.
Good thoughts…
What Bill H. said – thinking good thoughts and wishing you luck in resolving this nasty situation quickly and painlessly.
Oh, and magdalene, my consiglieri services are available at a negotiable rate. Someone will be in touch with you shortly to discuss the particulars. I wouldn’t recommend any sudden movements around him, if you know what I mean. 
Let me reemphasize what a few people have said: she may not be as credible as you fear she is. People are intelligent, and they can figure out that a person who is impulsive and prone to crazy stories is not trustworthy. Her allegations may not carry much weight.
Also, you can turn this into a positive opportunity for some mentoring and relationship-building with the higher-ups. Do go to people above you, not to get her in trouble or call in the bigger guns, but to ask for their advice. Say “I’ve got a sticky problem here, and I’d like to bounce it off you and see what insights you have.” You can express it in a way that doesn’t make it sound like you’re mad about your own rep being hurt, but more like “I’m worried about the work environment and the ability of my unit to work effectively if these stories are believed.” You can even decline to name the person who is saying all these things. The thing is, you’re not asking them to take sides, or act on your behalf. You’re asking for their advice as an experienced and level-headed manager. It’s flattering, and it builds a relationship. Of course, it also has the added benefit of getting them on your side, if it comes to that. Since they know the organization and the business, they may have some very sound advice for you and some good strategy for handling it.
Good luck. This bites, and I’m sorry to hear it’s happening. People like her get their just reward at some point, I promise you.
Thanks, thanks and thanks again for your advice and concern. As promised, I snuck in to read and reread what you’d written. It helped immensely, keeping me grounded during one certified pisser of a long day.
Very quickie update: I consulted the HR head. It took a conscious effort of intellect over learned paranoia but it paid off. He was completely supportive. My absolute worst fears proved groundless: he believed me, without question. Miracle of miracles, my track record stood for itself.
As a sidenote…one reason this hit soooo hard was the Ex was fairly prominent–actually served on various City commissions. His was a very visible, high-profile alcoholic meltdown with me stupidly, blindly at his side, trying futilely to cover up the obvious. That’s why “guilt by association” terrified me so badly. Stupid, but there it is. Some painfully learned responses are WRONG.
We’re gathering documenation and statements. It’ll be gruesome, but bearable. And I’m not alone in it anymore; the HR head was a breath of bracing and KIND fresh air. One thing is agreed: I will not and cannot work with her anymore. (She’s a supervisor–position of extraordinary trust, can’t you just barf?–but not unaffiliated with the union.) Terms of separation are under review.
She’s so bullheaded the only way she’ll learn is the hard way but I don’t want to destroy her by way of teaching her a lesson. Sad, sick/funny note: she’s completely oblivious. So she got mad, blew up but she feels better now so everything’s fine, right? No concept of reality–or that the rumor campaign she so blithely started boomeranged right back through all her fine ambitions.
The details remain. They’ll be tough and painful for all involved. But they’ll be manageable.
In case I didn’t mention it before–or even if I did–the concern, advice and plain goodwill you’ve all given mean more than I can say. Dopers are an exercise in humility anyway, due to collective brain-power and pure, sideways cussedness if nothing else. It’s nothing short of miraculous that you have hearts to match.
Off to sleep–soundly, finally,
Veb
Glad it went well, Veb. I would point out that if she’s destroyed, it’s because of her own sheer idiocy, not because of you. You’re just sort of the instrument of God’s justice. 
I, for one, would be filled with glee to hear that you did her like Sherman did Atlanta, but you gotta follow your own conscience.
Well, I’ve never been in that situation so I have no advice to give and nothing to offer except my best wishes. You go TVeblen! It sounds like things are looking up already. You’ll come out on top, and pretty soon your nemesis will only be a bad memory.
Veb, I came to this thread late and wouldn’t add a thing to the advice - it’s exactly what I’d recommend to one of my corporate clients. (Anybody thinking of becoming a lawyer? Seriously, a lot of the advice here is better than stuff people pay $450 an hour for). I’m really glad that HR is supporting you; please keep us posted.
VEB, I also arrived late to this thread, but wanted to post to say I hope things have continued to work out. As for advice, I agree with BILLDO (as usual) – and others – step on her and step hard. It ain’t nice but then she hasn’t earned “nice.” What she’s earned is a sharp lesson in professionalism, the dangers of office politics, and the value of loyalty.
Of course HR stood by you – they know a valuable asset when they see one. [Alice from Dilbert]We’re not “assets”! We’re human beings![/Alice from Dilbert]
Keep your chin up.
Ooo, ooo, Lux Fiat has it exactly correct. Don’t feel bad for how bad this girl gets the world yanked out from under her feet, because it isn’t your fault: she brought it on herself. You are merely the instrument of justice. I love that phrase.
In fact, when it comes time to terminate her… Stand before her, and slowly raise your forearm to vertical with index finger extended to the sky. Now imagine your arm bursting into the white fire of Godly righteousness. Let some of that fire come into your eyes. Then slowly, slowly, lower and straighten your flaming arm to point directly at her. Hold this position for a long moment.
Then take a deep breath, and say:
"I SMITE YOU."
…Okay, maybe not. But you have to find your chuckles where you can in a nasty situation like this.
Veb…I caught this thread late…but please check your email…
Dave
Veb…I caught this thread late…but please check your email…
Dave
Nothing beats a happy ending Veb!
::wanders off muttering about using “pure, sideways cussedness” in a sig line::
TVeblen wrote
Just curious how things are progressing… I hope well.
Veb:
Not to pry, but are things coming along OK?
TV (the other one)