Do you have some nutty analogies you use a lot that you could share? (Are you from the South?!) Do you know any gems like:
Nuttier than a squirrel’s breakfast
Greener than the pee-stains in an Irishman’s underpants
Grinning like a mule eating garlic
Harder than Chinese algebra
?
Sweet Basil
SRB will get you girls!!
In reference to someone’s intelligence:
Sharp as a sack of wet mice.
Well, I had mentioned to Ike that this message board “goes down like a two-dollar whore on Saturday night.”
Always liked describing dumb people as “thicker than two short planks.”
‘Colder than a witch’s titty in a brass bra.’
‘Hotter than a two-peckered billy goat.’
TMR
Patron Saint of Clever Retorts. What’s it to you?
Oh, yes—after seeing herself in “Die, Die, My Darling,” Tallulah Bankhead described herself as “looking older than God’s wet-nurse.”
To describe a fat person:
“He has more chins than a Chinese phone book.”
Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@kozmo.com
“Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks.”
– Douglas Adams’s Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective
A face like a bulldog chewing a wasp
A face like a slapped arse
A butt as big as Belgium
As flat as a fart
As welcome as a beartrap in a lucky dip
As useless as a one legged man in an ass-kicking competition
As useful as a rubber walking stick
As funny as a funeral in Wigan on a wet Wednsday afternoon
Low enough to walk under a snakes belly, wearing a top hat
As happy as a crucified Catholic
hotter than a whore’s ass on dollar night
One of the few to be personally welcomed to this board by Ed Zotti.
Yours truly,
aha
Whenever I taste or smell something horribly disgusting I say
“That would gag a maggot.”
You can keep your Wally sig, because SwimmingRiddles designated me as St. Mullinator: Patron Saint of Republicans That SwimmingRiddles Respects!
Dumber than a box of rocks. A box of STOOPID rocks!
As clever as a bowl full of hair.
I like to say that quantum mechanics is weirder than a snake’s suspenders.
jrf
Well, this shit in here is about as funny as a two-story outhouse.
She’s so ugly she looks like someone set fire to her face and beat the flames out with a shovel.
And if anyone here knows of the British politician Ann Widdecombe, you’ll understand what I mean. If you don’t here’s a pic I knocked up earlier : http://porkypies.tripod.com/widdecombe.jpg
Ay Caramba !
