“Just remember; no one ever said it was 72* female* virgins”
“Mazel tov”
“I regret I can only kill you one time for my country”
“I bet I know what’ll be going through your mind in the next few seconds…”
I was going to go with “eye for an eye”, but I thought of a better biblical quote:
"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the iniquities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy My brothers. And you will know My name is the Lord when I lay My vengeance upon thee. "
I am course imagining the SEAL in question is Colonel Samuel L Jackson.
I always knew there was a gay mafia.
and I got nothin.
I think I just figured out how to win total public support for gay marriage, gay adoption, gay parade marches, and everything in between…
Start spreading the news, you’re dying today.
“Road House!”
“Found you! You’re IT!” BLAM!
I can’t top what’s been suggested for the up-front, but after the deed, how about when the shooter radioed back to the Situation Room:
“That’s two small shots for a man, and one sigh of relief for Mankind”
Some good suggestions on what to say to Osama. But if I’d gone in there, I would have also brought a machete and impaled one of his henchman, just so I could quip, “Stick around.”
“I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”
Of course, it’s highly unlikely that the SEAL was actually using a .44 magnum, but still.
<1970S SNL>“Candygram!” “Landshark!”</1970S SNL>"
I must agree with my associate Mr. Marley.
“I know what you’re thinking. “Did he fire six shots or only five?” Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I kind of lost track myself. But being as this is a M4 carbine assault rifle with a 30 round clip, the question is kinda moot don’t you think? Die fucker!”
jk1245:
At the risk of sounding like a wet blanket on a cute joke, the Hebrew word for “virgin” is gender-specific, and I’d be willing to bet that the Arabic word for it is similarly so.
“BLAM!BLAM!”
Freeze.
“Mission… accomplished.”
SEAL: Come out with your hands up!
Osama: I’ll never be taken alive… you’ll have to kill me first.
SEAL: OK. But it’s going to hurt when I do.
I liked the Big Nose comment.
I was thinking of:
"You feeling lucky, punk? You shouldn’t. "BLAM BLAM.
Borrowing from RoboCop:
“Osama bin Laden! You’re coming with me. Dead or alive, but you’re coming with me.”