[spastically friendly voice]
"To leave a message for little johnnie, press 5 because dontcha knowit, the little guy turned 5 last week! Ain’t that CUTE?
To leave a message for Tiffany, press 1. She might have trouble calling back, though … the phone’s just a little too high for her to reach when she stands up ALL BY HERSELF!
To leave a message for Elaine, press 9.
To leave a message for me, press 7.
And to leave a message for little Fido, press [bark bark bark] three! Yuo, that’s right! Little guy can count to three! [said while dog continues to bark] Ain’t that just SO CUTE?