While working a word puzzle just now, I encountered a clue that zapped me into the memory of Lost in Space from the 60’s or whenever. Aside from the picture in my mind of the hokey costumes and sets, the ridiculous plots and cheesy acting, the goddamned theme music made me wince.
Can you think of even worse theme music? Explore your repressed memories, if needed. There just has to be something even more insipid, repetitive and corny.
Where do I start?
Family Ties
Full House
What’s Happening!
Dawson’s Creek (I just can’t wait…for this song to be over )
American Idol’s theme music is about as horrid as anything could be that poses as a musical showplace.
People’s Court’s music sucks.
Hey, without the Lost in Space theme, the music for Star Wars might have been considerably worse.
But Star Trek: Enterprise has no excuse. The music is as bad as Roddenberry’s lyrics to the original theme.
Your remarks forced the image of Bill Murray singing Star Wars into my mind. I refrain from thanking you.
Minus the lyrics, I really loved the original Star Trek theme. Alexander Courage, right?
As for good themes, anything by Henry Mancini, Johnny Mandel, Lalo Schifrin, and many of the Mike Post offerings, stand tall.
But this thread is about shitty music, please.
Which one? There were two themes. The more serious one that went
Daaaah, dot-dot dot-dot dah dah, daaaah, dot-dot dot-dot dah dah…
and the hokey one what went
Doot doot doot doot doot doodle-oot, dooooooo…
I’m sorry not to be able to identify which one. It was quite brief and just repeated over and over. It had the sound of the sort of thing that would suggest suspense or tension, but after the thirtieth repetition the only suspense was how long it would take me to leave the room or the house. My kids were into the show so I couldn’t just turn it off.
South Park. It sounds like a vacant lot, choked with weeds and strewn with litter.
I enjoyed the series “Quantum Leap,” but the theme music was insipid crap. Almost as insipid and crappy as the theme song for “Enterprise.”
Maybe there’s something about Scott Bakula that causes this.
Hawaii Five-O always drove me nuts.
da-da-da-dah DAH DAH…
da-da-da-dah DAAAHH…
Land of the Lost.
I’ll never forget the unenthusiastic screaming as Marshall, Will and Holly plunged 1000 feet below. Kinda like the sound I would make getting a paper cut.
I have fond memories of the Hawaii Five-O theme music, mostly because the pep band at my college used to play it during hockey games.
Actually, most of the Sid and Marty Krofft lineup would qualify;
H.R. Puffinstuf
Lidsville
The Buggaloos
Sigmund and the Sea Monsters (A.K.A. Archie Bunker and Edith under the Sea)
ones i did like were
Dr. Shrinker
Electra-Woman and Dyna-Girl
Lost Saucer
Warning, many of these clips may cause unpleasant flashbacks… 
Headrush042
If Jack Lord were alive he’d book you … murder one.
Hawaii Five O had one of the best theme songs and possibly the best opening sequence of any TV show. (The wahine running on the beach, the hula girls, the jet planes, Kam Fong as Chin Ho … it had it all). I’d say you are in a rather small minority of people who do not like the Hawaii Five O theme song.
Biffy - wow I thought I was the only person who remembered both theme songs from Lost In Space. I’m impressed. 
Aloha.
it’s a brand new show, but I think the theme song for Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader is going to take the title as worst theme song ever:
Are you smarter than a 5th grader?
Cuz there’s gonna be a test later
Do you really think you’re smart enough
To be in the 5th grade
sung by a chorus of 3rd graders, with an inappropriate funk bass and drum track to accompany it. I noticed that between the first and second episodes, it was remixed to have the drums and e-bass drown out the singers, which makes it the most un-gameshow-like theme song ever.
For the worst movie Theme Song, I nominate “Hooray for Santy Claus” from Santa Claus Conquers the Martians.
You spell it S-a-n-t-a C-l-a-u-s,
Hooray for Santy Claus!
The Seinfeld theme. It’s not so much music as a bunch of mouth noises and twangy bass. Only annoying thing about an otherwise great show.
The theme from The Simpsons is pretty grating.
If I had been a more regular watcher of the show, I would definitely have mentioned it. As is, I can’t think of a single episode I saw all the way through. Just not my style of show, in spite of being as highly touted as it has been. I never saw all of a Friends episode either and can’t even remember the music.
Gah… just what I came in to say. Whoever thought that was a good idea should be fired. Like pottery.