We’ve been together for 4 1/2 years, living together with her kids for 3, engaged for 2 (she was the one who popped the question…three days before I was going to), and this Sunday, we’re finally doing it.
You know the show Platinum Weddings? Where they find the gaudiest, most ostentatious display of an overabundance of wealth combined with an underabundance of taste or modesty?
Well, we’re happily having an aluminum wedding. Not only is it on a shoestring, but the shoestring is threadbare. We don’t really have a lot, but we don’t need it.
Marriage license: $93
Rings: $75
Groom’s jacket: $3 at Salvation Army
Bride’s dress: $35 at Goodwill
Park for the ceremony: Free
Internet-licensed minister and best friend: Free and surprising
Best man and best friend: also free and surprising
Flowers: fake and already in our possession
Marrying a wonderful woman: well, you know the rest.
We decided on this a week ago. SwampWitch has Lyme disease and a few mental health issues, and the stress of planning a wedding would not be a good thing for her health. So we figured that we could get one of many people we know who can perform a wedding, go to some park and tell people “no RSVP, No Reception, No Dress Code, No Gifts.”
When I called up my (exteremely atheistic) friend and jokingly told him that we may have need of his ministerial services, he immediately said “Let me see what I can do about a flight down.”
:eek:
when I called up my other friend and jokingly said “You wanna come down to Tallahassee? X. is already doing the ceremony, and we need a best man.” he also said “Let me see what I can do about a flight down.” :eek: :eek:
Sadly, as I found out today, it’s also my maternal grandmother’s yartzeit (anniversary of her death). I never met her, but she will be honored in the ceremony all the same.
I’ve got amazing friends.
And an amazing bride-to-be.
Congratulations! I’ll drink a toast to the pair of you and your friends this Sunday. You sound like good folks.
If you post an approximate time for the vows, I’ll try to synchronize the toasting. If it hits in the middle of the catapult design class, I’ll even share the champagne.
[Officer Hal, Uniformed Killjoy]
Sorry ma’am, but I’m going to have to issue you a summons for having an open container of alcohol in a public park.
[/OH,UK]
Congrats, Swampwolf! A lifetime of happiness to you and the missus-to-be!
Mazel tov, Swampwolf, and many wishes for shalom bayit!*
I’m already taking as a given that you have an amazing bride , but I do want to say that, yes, it does indeed sound as if you have amazing friends. Lucky, lucky you! May you *all * treasure each other for many, many years to come!
*For those who don’t know: shalom bayit = peace in the home (usually refers to the spousal relationship, though it can be broadly interpreted to mean…well, peace in one’s home).
When you have the right spouse, marriage can be the best thing ever! My hubby and I will be celebrating 19years of marriage in just about 3 weeks, and neither of us has ever had any regrets!
Od yishama’ b’arei Yehuda u’v’hutzot Yerushalayim
Kol sasson v’kol simchah, kol hatan v’kol kallah!
(A traditional Jewish wedding song, taken from the wedding blessings: “May we hear in the streets of Judah and the courtyard of Jersalem voice of gladness and voice of joy, voice of bridegroom and voice of bride!”)
Thank you all for your warm thoughts. Anyone who wants to drink a toast, the ceremony begins at 2pm eastern time.
SwampWitch’s and my relationship has not always been an easy one…we’ve had to deal with mental illness, physical illness, quadruple-bypass surgery (her mother), cancerous kidney removal (her father), Social Security Disability, an ex-husband who is way behind on his child support (but at least he’s seeing the kids regularly…when he lived 1/2 mile from us, he didn’t), and two fiercely independent children of divorce–what’s worse, they’re both extremely intelligent–and many other stumbling blocks.
With openness, honesty, communication, understanding, mutual support and patience we’ve gotten this far, and expect to pick up momentum.
I don’t want to be a sourpuss, but have you made sure that you don’t need a permit to get married in the park? I’m pretty sure that here in NYC, if it’s just a small group, with no chairs, etc, you don’t need one, but you do for a larger or more organized event. (Here’s a recent article in the New York Times on the subject.)
Best of luck to you both. Mazel tov (sp?)! My wife and I will be married 18 years on 11/3 and, while they haven’t all been roses and rainbows, I could not imagine anyone that I would rather be with. We provide a balance to each other and keep each other sane. I once told her that we’re like a couple of drunks leaning against each other as they go down the street: we’d fall down if the other wasn’t there to give support and together we can go anywhere. OK, it’s not the most romantic analogy but she likes my weird view of the world.
When times are good, love each other. When times are hard, love each other more. She is more than a wife and companion. She is your best friend and confidante. Again, best of wishes.
I was involved a couple of weeks ago in a fancy, expensive wedding. My daughters (and their little cousin) were flower girls. It was a lovely wedding, and I came out of it thinking how very, very grateful I am for my own simple shoestring wedding 12 years ago. So much work and planning and hassle and expense!
I’m glad it will be stress-free and happy! Congratulations.