This doesn’t really belong in this thread, but it’s not worthy of a thread of its own. When I was little, dad’s euphemism for farting was ‘let wind’. I’ve never heard anyone else say that.
I’ve heard of “break wind”, but that’s not quite the same. My dad used to blame farts on “barking spiders”.
Yes, ‘break wind’ is common.
I wear lounging pyjamas when I lounge. I wear a smoking jacket when I smoke. I’ve just put on my windbreaker…
Who’s walking down the streets of the city
Smiling at everybody she sees…
I guess we know why
Pavement Person, or better yet, Sidewalk Settler.
According to C. Montgomery Burns, Springfield Nuclear Plant doesn’t have meltdowns, it has “unrequested fission surplus(es).”
In the kitchen of the house, we had a rug with a picture of a running chicken woven into it. Occasionally I would vacuum the rug. Over time, we started to use the expression ‘vacuuming the chicken’ as a general-purpose euphemism to suggest that all sorts of things were being covered up.
“Sorry I couldn’t come to the phone! I was, um, vacuuming the chicken.”
(While cleaning the kitchen) “Look! I’m vacuuming the chicken in broad daylight! And I’m not even ashamed!”
“Did I hear you vacuuming the chicken last night?”
And the euphemism treadmill continues.
P.J. O’Rourke’s piece about Australia in Rolling Stone said that vomiting there is “chundering” or “the Technicolor yawn.” Going to pee, he said, is “draining the lizard,” and heading to the men’s room is “going a-snakes.”
An old joke says if you eat beans with your Viagra, you get a stiff wind.
[quote=“AskNott, post:29, topic:955745”]
P.J. O’Rourke’s piece about Australia in Rolling Stone said that vomiting there is “chundering”….[/quote]
There is a lyric in the Men at Work song, “Down Under” that goes “beer does flow and men do chunder”. I somehow googled it (figuratively, as this was before the internet) and learned what it meant. I’m surprised it wasn’t already well-known enough to be mentioned in the O’Rourke piece, considering the popularity of that song.
US Department of “Defense”
I thought they were saying, “the men douche under.”
We have a thread winner.
“Sheet frogs”
Initializing the Speculative Thunder-Boot
If I think about it enough, there are a whole host of odd or funny euphemisms:
Vomiting into a toilet: talking to Ralph on the big white phone.
Urinating: taking a leak, draining the lizard
Defecating: pinching a loaf, dropping a deuce
Intercourse: the horizontal mambo, making whoopee
Breasts: fun bags
Brassiere: Over the shoulder boulder holder
Male genitalia: Junk, the family jewels
Female genitalia: the bearded clam, the vertical smile
Dying: going to the great big ** in the sky, kicking the bucket, croaking
Getting a haircut: getting your ears lowered
A man’s hernia check: short arm inspection
Pet: fur baby
Getting fired: getting a pink slip, being named fresh air inspector
Pregnant: got a bun in the oven
I’m sure I’ll think of more while I’m trying to sleep tonight.
You might enjoy Roger’s Profanisaurus, originally part of Viz magazine in the UK. A list of thousands of euphemisms, mostly fabricated, mostly obscene, with accompanying explanations - many of which cross-referenced other supposed euphemisms.
“It needs percussive maintenance” or “it needs to have its fractal boundary basins remapped” - - Whack the thing to see if that makes it work.
Scott Manley (an aerospace YouTuber) often mentions “rapid unscheduled disassembly” in reference to in-flight rocket failures.
This is probably more in the category of “annoyingly PC” rather than “odd”, but I really, really hate the euphemisms “affordable” (as in, housing) and “accessible” (as in, buildings).
It’s probably because I tend to be literal-minded, and when something is described in those terms, I think about their opposites. After all, every descriptive adjective should have a corresponding antonym. So if I’m not living in subsidized housing, or in an appliance carton under a bridge, am I therefore living in “unaffordable housing”? If a building doesn’t have a wheelchair ramp, does that mean it’s “inaccessible”, and I’ll have to hire a helicopter and be lowered in through the skylight on the roof?
How about calling subsidized housing “subsidized housing”? I might be a bit more willing to give “accessible” a pass, but I’d prefer to call it something like “facilitated access”. Because every damn building open to the public is “accessible” to the public, by definition. An example of a building that is not “accessible”? The US Bullion Depository at Fort Knox. They probably don’t even have a doorbell.
Any building with stairs, with narrow doorways, with outlets too low or too high, ditto light switches and sinks, with door knobs vs. levers. Far more buildings are inaccessible than are universally accessible.