Odoriferous restaurant guest

In My Humble Opinion
1

What do you think should be done in this situation?

I am but a poor server in a restaurant. There is an elderly son-and-his-mom duo that dine here every single day, without fail. The mom has shown increasing signs of losing her mental capacity, and I and my cohort kind of assumed all along that the son brings her to lunch at the establishment as part of her routine. Isn’t it nice that she has him to take care of her in her advanced age?

But he needs someone to take care of him. He has health issues and weight issues that seem to hinder him in his daily ablutions. Starting a month or two back, at first the odor was noticeable, then quite noticeable, then almost tangible, and now unbearable to others. As in, neighboring guests will move themselves to a farther table. Not to be hateful, just clear, he honestly smells like death.

The restaurant managers and employees are aware of it, the other guests are aware of it, but the gentleman and his mother seem not to be. The managers have as yet done nothing but try to seat the couple as far away from others as possible, but I don’t think that will work forever, nor does it actually approach the problem.

As I mentioned, this duo dines with us every single day. I care about them as fellow human beings do, and I would be willing (hesitantly, but still) to say something to the gentleman. Managers refused my offer (they are afraid of complaints to corporate). Okay, how about an anonymous and kind letter posted to them? They pay with a check that has their address on it! Nixed again. Well, how about you decide what to do, and then you do it?! Maybe someday…

What do my fellow dopers think should be done? Everyone deny the prob, acknowledge the prob and do nothing, rucciface mind your own business, be kind but direct, or what? Thanks in advance.

2

It sounds like “We reserve the right to refuse service to anyone” is justified. If management won’t exercise that right, can you try to find out if corporate might, after all, support you in that?

3

Much as I hate the idea of interfering in people’s private lives, perhaps an anonymous tip to social services to look in on them at home may be prudent? Given the fact that both mother and son are in declining health (physical and mental). <shurg>

4

Where are you located? I’m almost sure that some fellow doper wouldn’t mind dropping by when your smelly customer is there and callously confront him about his rancor.

5

Thanks, that’s a good idea (in theory. In practice, maybe not so much with this company. Thanks, though.)

Thank you. This is something I could do as a concerned fellow person, and not as a numbered nobody in this company.

Thanks, but no. If anybody’s going to do that, I hope it’s me! :slight_smile:

6

Do you have Adult Protective Services in your state? I think you can report a situation without leaving your name.

7

Get another customer to do it. A friend of yours, maybe, could come in, order a coke, and politely tell the dude he smells like death. The the restaurant gets to cover their ass, and the smellotrons are alerted to their offensiveness.

Not sure telling someone they smell bad will make them start smelling better, however. But it’s a necessary first step.

8

Developing a strong and unpleasant body odor has only two root causes: a medical condition that the sufferer is aware of and doing his or her best to cope with (I had a high-school teacher with halitosis that would peel paint; it was effectively uncurable)… or developing mental illness, even of the mildest social-dissociation kind.

I would concur that a call to adult services would be in order. They tend to be skilled at finding ways to contact and help people others have reported, and it sounds as if this would be a socially kind thing to do. Not knowing their name, address, etc. can be a hurdle, though.

9

They pay with a check, he said, that has their name and address on it, so that shouldn’t be a problem. And I agree, a call to adult services sounds like a good idea.

10

Yeah, the gentleman has a medical problem that he has told some of us about. There is also signs of um “leakage” around his lower legs. Obviously he knows about the medical problem, but seemingly not social problem.

One other server and I are generally the ones the duo asks for. They know and like us, and we are kind and helpful, etc. They know what section of the restaurant we’re usually working in. Yesterday, the manager sat them in the far (and empty) dining room. I was not their server, but I stopped by to chat for a minute. The mom was first happy to chat, but then she seemed to remember that she was angry at being seated outside of her usual section and asked, “Who sat us here?” The son answered, “That manager, Mama.” I retreated kinda hastily, then, because I wasn’t sure what I’d say if she pressed me for a reason as to why.

So it seems that at least they know “something” is up. If they ask me, I’ll be inclined to tell them the truth, though I’m pretty confident that if management finds out I did so, my employment will be terminated.

Filing a report with authorities is sounding like a solid idea to me right now. I know their first names, and if I catch one of my cashier friends on duty next time the duo is dining in, perhaps I can get their last names.

11

I get what you are saying but that solution does address the problem, at least as it pertains to the business. Their issue is to serve as many people as possible. In this case that can be accomplished by accomodating the regular customers, but far enough away from everyone else that the smell doesn’t drive away clientele. A delicate balance, to be sure.

As a person, though, I vote for the concerned call to APS.

12

This is pretty tough.

I used to work as a waiter and remember dealing with the occasional diner who carried the smell of death. In particular, there was this one couple who came in about once a week. Very nice folks, but taking their order was an exercise in holding one’s breath.

It wasn’t enough of an issue for us to act on it. In your case, you have a daily occurrence. I wonder, is there some kind of town ordinance concerning personal odor? Heh . . .

Myself, I’d probably swallow hard and do nothing about it. I might take the coward’s way out and mail them an anonymous but kindly-written letter about it. I wouldn’t have the balls to say it to their face, if only to avoid losing their business.