Okay, I’m seeing this “Og Smash!” bullshit beginning to proliferate here and all around the web like a disease. I’d like to know just who this Og person is.
So, I turned to our old buddy Google. What does G Love tell me?
So. Og is a computer hardware reviewer, right? Well, I question his methodology. Let’s see some credentials, Mr. Og.
Then, there’s this wonderful concept of a role-playing game called Og. But it doesn’t tell me who Og is or where he came from.
Jello was good enough to refer me to this thread, where I discover to my surprise that many of you appear to worship this Og fellow. Yet I remain unilluminated.
It’s just a big Oggy world out there, but I’m only allowed to speculate on the cave-wall shadows. I’d like to ask about this as a General Question, but I already know exactly what the answer is going to be. So I’ll just go directly to my response.
Piss up a rope, you Internet Neandertals! Since you’re not going to tell me, you better hope I don’t score a couple of thermobaric bombs, 'cause I’m pretty sure I know where you live.
Og smite!!!
Ok, ok. Some guy made a really stupid pit thread about how all religion is bad, and kept mis-spelling of as og. Some people took the ball and ran with it to try and hijack the thread (he really was being an ass) and it snowballed. Happy now?
I don’t care what anyone tells you about a passing biblical reference or the bizarre misspellings of a pit troll – Og is real, and he is a deity with a very short fuse.
Some think he is the Babylonian god of forced sodomy; this of course is not accurate. Sodomy is just of passing interest to pre-history’s most violent troglodytic divine being. From an early Akkadian text, Og’s disciple, Ninus, had this to say:
Thank you Ninus, that was most elucidating. Clearly Og is the god of smiting. Invoke him with caution, he is also an unpredictable and cruel deity.
I note that speakers of one or more of the Scandinavian languages invoke him constantly:
Now, as an American with a God-given right to monolingualism, I don’t know what the hell these guys are talking about. But obviously, Og has something to do with fat-assed terrorists. And, the guy lives in a cave.
Especially in Icelandic. Which leads me to think, perhaps Iceland is the giant playground of Og. Og’s last refuge, maybe. I mean, it’s a desolate, rocky, remote island with tons of volcanoes. Which leads me to ponder the fact that Iceland has no army. Sure, they SAY it’s due to the American military base there. That’s just a cover-up. The whole island is under the all-powerful protection of Og.
And who would win in a fight: Cthulhu, Eris, “Bob”, or Og?
Ok, I admit it. I’m not really an atheist. I am…a devout “Oglodyte.”
The problem is, people look at me strangely when I go about my daily devotions (quite public, per Og’s Commandments): punching brick walls while drooling and grunting.
Bystanders also find my saying Og’s grace before meals very disturbing: I must hold my hands palm-upward in a supplicating position while farting and tap dancing to “Tiptoe Through the Tulips,” by Tiny Tim. And it must be on vinyl, no CDs allowed.
I’m sharing these secrets of the Oglodyte Cabal in the hope of winning converts from the SDMB. Please keep them confined to this thread or…OG SMASH!