Oh dear, I've upset a telemarketer. Am I a bad person?

I used to like talking to them as if I was interested, while occasionaly making odd, quiet sounds, as though I might be masturbating. Makes them want to get out of the conversation, which they, unlike you, are obligated to continue. Far more disturbing than merely being bothered on a Sunday morning. Wonderfully therapeutic. It is, in fact, Mudd’s Magic Method[sup]tm[/sup] for dealing with telemarketers. (Or anyone else you don’t want to talk to. Like your mom.)

I’m dying for someone to try to sell me carpet cleaning so I can say, “We don’t have any floors”.

zut: Maybe you were called by this person.

A roofing company rang and for some bizarre reason Mr P actually made an appointment for them to call round and view our roof. He told me and I said change the appointment to when I will not be here because I don’t deal with telemarketers. Plus we can’t afford to do the roof at this point in time.

A few days later, I answered the phone and Roofing Telemarketer wanted to confirm the appointment. I said, nope cancel it. She said You Can’t. I said ummmm, yeah I can. Your Husband Made An Appointment and you can’t cancel it, she whined.

After we did this do-si-do for a few minutes, I hung up on her. The conversation was stupid and she was getting heated.

She rang back ten minutes later and got Mr P. She told him I was the rudest person she’d ever encountered. She must lead a sheltered life. Then she hung up on him.

He got pissy with ME!

Then we got to the true triumph of customer relations.

Her boss rang and I answered the phone. Silly me I thought he was ringing to apologise for his rude employee. Errrrrr, no.

He was ringing to tell me that when I need my roof done, under no circumstances was I to approach his company as I was too rude to deal with. I said, with pleasure, cackled like a loon and hung up on him.

Since then, I badmouth that company at every turn.

You see when Primaflora speaks I can’t help but see Judy Davis in my mind’s eye. Now, because of frequent TV ads for “The Man Who Sued God” I will always see Mr P as Billy Connolly.

Prima dear, did you ever have an odd experience in a cave in India?

Redboss

BTW, what’s the malfunction with these newspaper telemarketers. I keep getting calls over and over from the newspaper that I already subscribe to? Don’t they wash their coldcall lists against their subscriber lists?