Oh, for goodness's sake, Rico ...

The BBQ Pit
1

I mean, honestly. The elementary factual error in this thread closure is just shameful.

You don’t stake zombies through the heart. You stake vampires through the heart. With zombies, you have to fill their mouths with sea salt and sew their lips shut. I mean, really, what next? Are you going to exorcise werewolves and shoot silver bullets at ghosts? For shame, sir. For shame.

(Well, OK, I know it’s a little bit lame, but I have a feeling Rico’s not been doing too well in the Mod Pitting stakes recently. Always support the underdog, that’s what I say. Besides, it’s coming up to Halloween. Last time of the year you want to be using inappropriate control measures on the undead.)

2

Glad to hear this. I have maintained for years that this is the proper way to deal with undead zombies, but anyone I tell looks at me like I’m insane. Which I guess I am, technically, but mostly they don’t know about that.

Man, you know I can’t stand zombies. Hate 'em. Unreliable minions of the dark at best, but more often than not they are just dog food what with their parts continually dropping off here and there. What a frickin mess.

3

Eh. I’m going to stick with fire, myself. It has the major advantage that you can apply it from a distance.

4

Ah, so what you’re saying is, Rico’s a zombie. Now it all makes sense.

5

Yeah that’s right, like anyone here is going to listen to a revenant’s advise on how to dispose of a zombie. Suck salt, beeyotch!!

6

Well, quite. They’re slow and messy and undependable. But if we keep getting the wrong advice on how to deal with them, they’ll keep on coming. Before long, there will be zombies all over the place, it will be like a general meeting of the George Formby Fan Club or something.

7

Salt can be applied from a distance as well, you just have to have good timing and VERY good aim…

The sewing of the lips is a different matter, however. I find it best to delegate this responsibility to one of my minions.

8

:dubious: I thought you had to shoot them in the head. All the zombies I’ve encountered, I’ve had to shoot in the head. I would think getting that close to their mouths would be counterindicated

9

This fake Mod Pitting is an abomination. It must be destroyed.