Oh, just go to hell now, Mr. Creationist Biology teacher.

The BBQ Pit
1

Jesus fucking Christ! I, I’m sure many of you know, bent over backwards giving this fuckwit the benefit of the doubt in this recent thread about the possibility of my bio teacher not believing in evolution (and not having a syllabus prepared, as **susan **feels that’s the far greater crime. :wink: )

Anyhow, back on Saturday, he told us he’d email the syllabus, along with a picture of “an ecosystem” that he wanted us to write about. Now, at this point, all he taught us about an ecosystem is “cells make up tissues, tissues make up organs, organs make up systems and individuals, individuals make up populations, populations make up ecosystems and ecosystems make up biospheres.” What, exactly, he wanted us to write beyond that was unclear.

Sunday…Monday…Tuesday…Wednesday…no email. So I emailed him last night with a politely worded email that I didn’t know if maybe I wrote down the wrong email address or not, but I still haven’t gotten the syllabus or picture for the homework, and I’d really like to get on it, so if he could maybe sorta DO HIS FUCKING JOB I’d really appreciate it. (okay, I didn’t say that bolded part.)

About an hour ago, I got the following email, as a group email (meaning no, he hadn’t sent it to the wrong email, he just hadn’t done it yet.):

Pl note that there was no mention of, nor attachment of, a syllabus. Just so **susan **knows. :wink:

Are ya ready for this? Here’s the picture. (sorry for the size and quality, he sent it as a .pdf and I converted it to a bitmap using ancient PrintShop software. I’m sure there was a better way to do it, but I don’t know how.)

Here’s a rough transcript of my thoughts while looking at the picture:

On first glance, it appears as if it was painted by Napoleon Dynamite, only he left off the unicorn horns. On second glance, one notices the unlikely combination of ripe apple, grapes and roses, and wonders why the brown horse is smelling the white horse’s ass while a lion is half a leap away. On third glance, one might notice the nekkid couple in the mid background, count the animals, make note of their pairedness, and conclude that this is A FUCKING PAINTING OF THE GARDEN OF EDEN!!!

And a rather shitty one at that, to the eye of this non-art history major. I expected to see it signed in the corner by Brandi-with-an-i, only with a little heart instead of a dot over the i. :rolleyes:

What on earth would you write about with this picture? Have fun with it. Help me vent here, since I can’t there.

Here’s my boring, almost snark-free answer, lest anyone think I’m asking for homework help; I hope he doesn’t expect more than two paragraphs, 'cause I don’t know what else to drain out of this corpse:

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Bravo!

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I felt it appropriate that I have Lynyrd Skynyrd playing in my head while I read your thread.

The picture looks a Paint by Numbers, which suggests your next assignment will be a Paint by Deuteronomy.

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laughable for its.

No apostrophe.

I think you need to share this assignment with the dean. Holy cow. I love your response though.

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What did you think was going to happen when you attended Bob Jones University?

What? Oh. Never mind.

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Friendly edit: Your answer has “it’s” for “its” in the first line.

You might also add that the horses are a good example of a creature whose appearance has been altered by selective breeding, mimicking natural selection which is the mechanism by which evolution occurs.

The painting also illustrates creatures who evolved in rather disparate ecosystems: I see horses (large plains herbivores), macaws (South American jungle birds), humans (African savannah), swans (none of the above)…

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My (insert leader of religious myth here), what the hell is that all about. I think your answer is pretty good considering the insanity of the picture, but it is certainly not snark free. If you turn that in you should have a pretty good read on if the prof will grade down due to a difference in belief. Good luck to you.

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Maybe he’s testing to see who the idiot creationists are. Maybe next Saturday, he’ll call off the names of everyone who approved of the picture and tell them they’re too stupid to do anything but drool.

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As a biology professor, I want to apologize on behalf of all those in my profession. You are being screwed. Sorry to put it so bluntly, but hearing about biology profs teaching this way makes me angry and frustrated beyond words.

I wish I could invite you into my class. It’s a good class- we’d have fun. To be honest, you have cause to go to the chair to ask what the hell is going on. You have to go to nursing school and work in the medical environment and are not being prepared. Realistically, complaining won’t do much good. The chair has heard it beofre, I’m sure. Try to get through the class and learn the material and hold your head high- you’re the better scientist already.

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I don’t Parrots and Penguins belong in the same ecosystem.

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A jehovah’s witness tries to force one of these on me each time they knock on my door. It’s looks like a picture straight out of The Watchtower.

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It’s at the Victoria and Albert Museum:

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Wrong! What are these “carnivores” and “omnivores” that you speak of? There was no death in the Garden of Eden, everything ate apples and grapes.

Also, where are the dinosaurs?

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Wait. WAIT… WAIT. Before we go any further, I’m going to have to ask who’s name is RHIANNON DREAMSNAKE. Is that YOU or the Professor? Respect hangs in the balance.

Also, I now have a brand spanking new definition of cartoon!

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This guy sounds like a loon, he really does. I’d be tempted to turn the assignment around, and explain why this ISN’T a good example of an ecosystem.

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You may want to point out that the water source apparently is tainted with Rohypnol, which would explain why the scene does not depict the carnage…er… “circle of life” that would ensue with so many predators being within such close proximity of their prey. Obviously, every animal in that picture is stoned out of their fucking minds.

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Of course, if it really is Eden, the carnivores were vegetarians, as there was no death before The Fall.

WhyNot, I feel for you. I was an older adult college student. It sucks that you can’t drop the course. Even if you have to keep your head down now, I hope that you will make some noise after the class is over. I had to go to the Dean of Students over one of my professors, but at least my voice was heard.

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Perhaps it’s a petting zoo? The naked people don’t want to tear their clothes.

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What surprises me - aside from the heavy-handed religious overtones - is that this assignment is being set for adults. For, presumably, a degree. Did you accidentally enroll in elementary school?

Love your response.

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That’s a great auk, I think, which provides another nice opportunity for a non-Creationist spin on things.