I see nothing wrong with the original assesment, snark and all, this “professor” needs to be taken down a notch, trying to force his irrational and illogical religious views on his students
it’s a science course, NOT a divinities course
I vote for keeping the snark in, makes a much more entertaining read
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
Here’s my boring, almost snark-free answer, lest anyone think I’m asking for homework help; I hope he doesn’t expect more than two paragraphs, 'cause I don’t know what else to drain out of this corpse:
[/QUOTE]
Something seems wrong with that woman. It almost appears as if she is causing evil to come into the world. She should be cursed with the pain of childbirth.
[QUOTE=WhyNot]
I’m not sure that’s true, though, even with modern techniques. Don’t apples need cold enough conditions to mature such that roses will drop their petals? Roses stop blooming 'round here by July or *maybe *mid-August, and apples don’t start ripening 'till September or so, even if we’re dealing with modern hybrids.
[/quote]
There are a number of rose varieties that will bloom in cycles or semi-continuously until (and after) frost. For example, this year I had a shrub-type rose (‘Home Run’) flowering until late October, which overlapped with our apple tree’s crop of ripe fruit.
We have snakes too, but we don’t listen to them.
I like John Mace’s idea of alerting the biology department head and definitely mention that “vital” assignment you were given.
I cannot believe a nutcase like this can actually be teaching a college level biology course.
I’m at work now, I’ll probably type more later. (Not as if you need my advice 
).
[QUOTE=lieu]
The picture looks a Paint by Numbers, which suggests your next assignment will be a Paint by Deuteronomy.
[/QUOTE]
Win.
WhyNot, you are a far, far better woman than I.
[QUOTE=Jackmannii]
There are a number of rose varieties that will bloom in cycles or semi-continuously until (and after) frost. For example, this year I had a shrub-type rose (‘Home Run’) flowering until late October, which overlapped with our apple tree’s crop of ripe fruit.
We have snakes too, but we don’t listen to them.
[/QUOTE]
Well, there you go! See? I AM learning something as a result of this course! 
[QUOTE=Jackmannii]
We have snakes too, but we don’t listen to them.
[/QUOTE]
And you wonder why your bet on the fifth race at Aqueduct never pays off.
Um,… where’s the burning bush?
Where’s the serpent?
Where’s they guy in the clouds with the free flowing beard?
This is SO unreal!
[QUOTE=Boyo Jim]
Um,… where’s the burning bush?
[/QUOTE]
It appears that Eve found a Bikini Wax Plant. There’s no bush at all.
[QUOTE=Miller]
Eating an apple doesn’t kill the apple tree.
[/QUOTE]
Maybe not the way you do it, buddy.
Your original draft is great. 
Now for the other’s.
Within 30 feet of each other I have ripe grapes, ripe apples and flowering roses in the fall. Late in the fall the grapes are bad after a frost. The apples are alright if there is a slight frost. You need to pick most of them before the frost hits. I leave some on the trees because the sugar builds up in them and they are super eating. The roses are not dead until a hard frost. The blooms damage a little in the colder weather, and don’t always open. The apples don’t need cold weather to ripen, they need the cold to have fruit next year.
This is condensed not being snarky.
[QUOTE=Miller]
Eating an apple doesn’t kill the apple tree.
[/QUOTE]
Yeah, at worst it’s more like aborting a potential future apple tree.
uh oh…
I always wondered why God gave carnivores sharp ripping teeth, if they were meant to eat vegetable matter.
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord]
Within 30 feet of each other I have ripe grapes, ripe apples and flowering roses in the fall. Late in the fall the grapes are bad after a frost. The apples are alright if there is a slight frost. You need to pick most of them before the frost hits. I leave some on the trees because the sugar builds up in them and they are super eating. The roses are not dead until a hard frost. The blooms damage a little in the colder weather, and don’t always open. The apples don’t need cold weather to ripen, they need the cold to have fruit next year.
[/QUOTE]
sigh again
Okay, okay, okay, y’all have convinced me that apples, grapes and roses can co-exist. So help me find something else wrong with the picture. I hate a list with only two items (Hi, Opal!), and I need a third thing for that last sentence to make it flow nicely.
@ wolf
So, wait. I see two horses, two great cats, two parrots, two awks, two humans… but is the pig shacking up with a llama?
[QUOTE=Jophiel]
So, wait. I see two horses, two great cats, two parrots, two awks, two humans… but is the pig shacking up with a llama?
[/QUOTE]
Actually, in the .pdf I have, I can zoom in enough to see another pig standing behind the white horse, and the “llama” is a buck (although I don’t see a doe. Maybe he’s got an “arrangement” with the pigs). Unfortunately this zoom also forces me to notice that the white horse, instead of a regular mane, has long flowing wavy locks of feminine hair parted in the center and gracefully framing her face.
And the brown horse is not, in fact, checking out her ass. He’s checking out the ass of the boy leopard. Pervert.
[QUOTE=lieu]
I felt it appropriate that I have Lynyrd Skynyrd playing in my head while I read your thread.
The picture looks a Paint by Numbers, which suggests your next assignment will be a Paint by Deuteronomy.
[/QUOTE]
Funny, I was humming Iron Butterfly…
Anyway, this is totally Pitworthy. What exactly does he expect to accomplish with this assignment? I’m at a loss to even figure that out.
[QUOTE=Millit the Frail]
Funny, I was humming Iron Butterfly…
Anyway, this is totally Pitworthy. What exactly does he expect to accomplish with this assignment? I’m at a loss to even figure that out.
[/QUOTE]
It sounds like he expects to get the students to stop asking for their assignment.
[QUOTE=Miller]
Eating an apple doesn’t kill the apple tree.
[/QUOTE]
But it does kill the apple seeds–and as we all know killing an apple seed is just the same as killing a full-grown apple tree! Rights for the pre-germinated! Fruit salad is murder!
I know wolf in second hand clothing beat me too it, but damn it–pre-germinated is funny!
Perhaps they ate around the seeds and planted them. Eating the fleshy part is the equivalent of eating a mammal’s placenta. Many seeds need to go through a digestive track to germinate anyway.