That depends on the fruit.
Many fruits are ovaries. However, for apples:
Ugh, I feel bad for you, WhyNot. My university biology professor is an Orthodox Christian, but luckily he not only believes in evolution, he also teaches it very well. I hope your situation improves, preferably with the removal of this guy.
And I too like your first draft better, although the less snarky version might be better if you don’t want him to single you out as a heretic. 
This reminds me of a guy in my Psych class. One the first day when we were giving introductions (why the teacher was making us do this, I have no idea) he said “I’m very religious and want to be a biology teacher, but I don’t know how that will work as I do not believe in evolution”.
I probably would have just written it off if not for the fact that in every class, when we talk about news articles that relate to the chapter we are on, or really any interesting psychology article, his are never on topic and always have a religious bent. One of the first was about abortion and how the mother felt afterward which did deal with psychology. The next was about how the FDA would not have the food companies labeled cloned food. He was outraged! Who knows what horrible things could come from the evils of cloned food!
I dread him saying anything in class. He just tries to work his beliefs into every subject and it is annoying. He even randomly interjected “A jiffy is a real unit of time. It is 1/100th of a second.” We were not talking about time, we were talking about neurons. Even the teacher was bewildered.
For some reason I imagine this guy will become your biology teacher somehow. He seems like the type to do that sort of thing. I’m just wondering when he will fins the time worm hole.
I think your first draft is fine; it’s not overly snarky, and gets the point across. If nothing else, it shows you’re not wishy-washy you won’t succumb to a mediocre answer out of fear for your grade.
I was singled out once. I attended a Jesuit university, where they required you take 3 semesters of theology courses. One course, the prof (a priest) asked flat out on day one if anyone didn’t believe in God. I raised my hand and was greeted with 30 pairs of scrutinizing eyes. That entire class period and half of the next turned into “Ask the Atheist,” and the prof himself never let up on me throughout the semester. I couldn’t have the last word in a discussion, and just about anything I said was wrong because I didn’t agree with him. And I wouldn’t have had it any other way.
If you’re worried about your grade suffering because he doesn’t like you, and if he’s actually stupid enough to grade you that way, you can usually make a very good case about it to the dean. Especially if you’ve brought up the current situation already. If your decision is based on just not wanting trouble, then, that’s your decision. But don’t be afraid of being the nail that sticks out. With a prof like that, I doubt you’d be the only one anyway.
Huh? What does this guy think biology is? Without evolution, biology is not even as advanced as physics was before Newton’s laws. Galileo was dropping things from towers and Kepler was drawing ellipses, but there was no idea that they might be related. Before Darwin, a bunch of people were cataloging and studying anatomy, but they had no idea how any of it was connected. Darwin took that mess and turned it into a science. Without evolution, a biologist is not a scientist, he’s a zoo keeper fumbling around in the dark.
Okay! Your wish is my command.
Why is that cow (the one on the right, next to the apparently? third deer) approximately half the size of the horsie-unicorny probably-herbivore?
And since when do palm trees (background center right) share ecosystems with deciduous trees? And penguins aren’t eco-buddies with camels or tropical birds in any climactic zone I personally am aware of.
Seriously, forward the email with attachments to the head of the department with a cc to the dean of academic affairs along with a query regarding the school’s policy on this sort of thing - as well as the school’s policy regarding absent syllabi (and any other issues you’ve noted). I can see this sort of assignment being maybe appropriate in a religion, philosophy, literature, or sociology course, but no chance it’s okay for introducturoy biology.
Ooh, perfect! Thanks! I like pointing out one flora problem, to complement the fauna problem (predator/prey). 'Cause, y’know, I likey the herbals. It makes me sad when people only see the animals and forget that the plants are active living creatures as well.
I was going to say that they look like guinea pigs from what little I can see of them, but Squink’s link confirms it:
Don’t know if you can do anything with that, but there you go.
Heh heh… “Squink’s link”. 
I’m another who likes your original version.
I really, really hope your answer is entirely the kind of thing he’s looking for - but somehow I doubt it.
I had a biology prof in high school who would have done something similar, but would have been looking for an answer precisely like yours. (Catholic high school, too)
There are a few that do. Or which can, at any rate.
Be careful, WhyNot. While you are tearing apart the professor’s errors, the first “facts” you mention are completely off base and not at all appropriate if you want this guy to respect you. I’m surprised no one has corrected you already. Anyone with a high-school level understanding of creationology knows that there was no water cycle until God opened the windows of heaven and made it to rain for the first time causing the Flood.
Nitpick–the word you want is “contaminants.”
As an environmental engineer, I see this all the time. “Contaminates” is a verb. “Contaminants” is a noun.
That’s too bad about your idiotic prof. I’d complain to the administration.
The picture looks horribly crowded for any ecosystem.
:eek: You are completely correct! I had that niggling feeling like something wasn’t quite right with that sentence, but I couldn’t work out exactly what was wrong with it. Thanks!
It’s a composite shot. Jan Brueghel was an early pioneer of time-lapse oil painting.
That picture looks more like the staging area for Noah’s arc than the Garden of Eden, but never mind that.
I didn’t see a snake. Don’t Eden Ecosystems require snakes? If you take out the snake, the whole system collapses and mass extinction events will occur. Notice also that there are no dinosaurs in this picture. Ask yourself why that is. Ladies and gentlemen, it doesn’t make any sense.
Don’t underestimate the genius of your professor, WhyNot.
There is, actually, a snake in my pdf (and I assume the original painting). It’s dangling down off the tree branch taunting Brazilian Wax Eve. I guess it didn’t survive the transition to bmp format.
(Does this mean that all we need to do to eradicate evil is change file formats on the world?)
Wow. I can’t wait to hear what your next class ends up being like. Sounds like you’ll need a stiff drink at the Chi-fest. 
