Since I’ve heard my name, I feel compelled to chime in on the appearance thing.
I have dined with the davebear and lived to tell the tale Seriously though, while you’re not going to win the people magazine sexiest man alive cover… how many guys are? I’d hardly say you’re repulsive or anything Maybe she has learned through her dating experience that there’s a lot more inside the package than can be gleaned at first glance! Obviously you do something for her or those windows would not be fogging up!
I was once considered kind of cute when I was a teenager but now I’m probably best described as plain. And right now I think beached whale is probably closest to the truth! (Oh to see my shoes again in october) Yet hubby still considers me pretty… even sexy Yay me!
We (as a society) have chosen impossible standards of youth and fittness as our ideal for physical attractiveness. How many people really fit that profile (especially after age 17?) And we’ve all seen those candid shots of the ‘beautiful people’ walking their dogs or getting the paper. They look surprisingly ordinary don’t they!
Grrrr! This is a soapbox for me so I will stop now
Umm, yeah. It’s the longest, most thoroughly mixed message I’ve ever received.
Optihut - the winning name was Nomaardvark. Casey1505 suggested it.
Good point, and one I should have picked up on. Wouldn’t it be ironic if the more interested she got, the more need she felt to put distance between us, so as to maintain “balance”? It would suck, too.
Obviously, I have no way of knowing what she’s feeling or thinking, but I know that, for me, the emotional highs of a new relationship are not among the things I try to balance. I may be crazy, but I’m not not a moron. Often. The high end of the see-saw is the most fun.
Ummm…can I take the 5th, on that question? No? (Dammit…sorry, your Honor) Okay, I do, yes. I get the feeling that’s going to be considered a bad thing. I don’t see why, though.
Sure, if the woman is a game-player, it gives her one more advantage. So, what? She already has an overwhelming advantage, if it comes to a power struggle, I don’t think it makes any real difference. And, if she is that type, I don’t want to date her, anyway, so the sooner she uses that information against me, the sooner I know to bail out.
Of course you wouldn’t. You’re far too polite.
Nah! You’re still a cutie.
Oh, and just for the record (it shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone, by now), no, I haven’t heard from her, yet. Still planning on calling her, tonight.
cg_holycow, if you want a soap opera, while you’re waiting for new developments on the Davebear/Theresa front, I suggest you visitthis thread. The Missing Co-Worker saga. Wasted a coupla days on that one. Drama galore.
So Dave, did you email her? And I didn’t mean NEVER call her, just to try an email first. And I agree, calling her tonight would be entirely appropriate.
AAAaaaarrrrrrgh! Crap! ::deep breath:: Okay. So, I called her. And, got routed straight into some dot-com’s voicemail; “<mumble>.com Record your message…” Uh…no. Thanks all the same. Try again. Same result. No, still don’t want to leave a message for some unknown .com. Sit. Think. Fume. Aha! Verify the number with information! Damn. I was remembering it right. Okay. Email! Started writing an email. More sitting and fuming. (Dammit!) What the heck do I say, without sounding like an idiot? Fume. (Shut up! I’m not doing that!) Fume. (No! I’m not doing that!) Fume. (Aaaargh! All right.) Called one of her stores (I know, I know :(). Theresa’s not there (Ooh! Surprise!). “Do you know if something’s up with her home phone?” “Well, she might be on the Internet.” :eek:
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Back to email. Revise it into one of the lamest emails ever written by anyone over the age of twelve. Asking her to call me. Mentioning I tried to call. Mentioning weird voicemail. Hoping we could get together, this weekend. Fume. Glare at email. Thrash brain soundly. Glare at email. Fume. Thrash brain more soundly. Nothing. Crap! Click Send. Leg cramps from kicking self in ass. Switch to other leg.
Why, yes! Yes, I do feel like a complete ass. How did you know?
I think I need a rum drink with me in it. A really big one I can climb right into.
Well, I waited until 8:30, checked to make sure she hadn’t emailed me (well, I suppose it could happen), and tried calling her, again. Got her answering machine. Her real one, not the .com’s voicemail. Did not leave a message. Dunno if that was right or wrong. I figured I’d try again, later, and leave a message if I have to.
Probably the last update from me, tonight, unless the miraculous happens. I called again, at 9:30, and left a message stating that I’d like to see her this weekend, and asking her to call me. I can’t say I have a good feeling about it, though. For the number crunchers out there, that’s the third message I’ve left since the last time I talked to her. Plus the email.
What is wrong with this woman? I’m starting to get seriously irritated. Even if she is Time Cognition Impaired, it’s quite rude not to return calls and messages like this. I’m sorry, Davebear–I feel your pain.
ARGH! i seriously hate people who beat around the bush. if there’s one thing i will not tolerate it’s people who play games like this.
the worst example of someone pulling this kind of crap was a guy one of my college roommates dated. they went out a few times over the course of maybe 2-3 weeks. things are going great and she’s in that giddy starting to get to know the guy stage. after their last date he told her he would call her on a certain day… for example’s sake, let’s say wednesday(i can no longer remember the actual day of the week and it really doesn’t matter). so wednesday comes and goes without a peep from this asshat. we sit around analyzing the situation and how she should handle it. after a few days go by she calls him. he is profusely apologetic (did i spell that right? i’m sleepy and had a few glasses of wine at dinner and can’t tell if that’s right anymore) and promises he will call her in a few days to set up their next date. he tells her that if he doesn’t call she has his permission to never talk to him again. guess what!? the jerk doesn’t call! from an unbiased stand point it was a brilliant set up.
people can be so stupid. i have a zero tolerance policy for games(including one-sided phone tag like this). if a guy likes me, he should be up front about it. if he doesn’t, he shouldn’t waste my time.
this girl needs to act accordingly with her feelings.
My shit list, too. If for nothing else, for jerking around our Davebear so inexcusably.
I’m sorry, not answering THREE phone calls is just damn rude.
I wonder if she’s just more interested in a little quickie-type nookie than a relationship. Sounds like she’s not making the SLIGHTEST effort to participate in a relationship, even a sketchy one.
That’s not a huge surprise. I’m radiating enough for it to be felt on Mars. But, thanks.
Maybe she is.
Oh, and I forgot to welcome you to the boards. Welcome!
I’m not so happy with her, either.
Thanks, Mama T. I don’t know what’s going on, that’s for sure. Maybe she went out, last night, and didn’t get back until late. I told her (in the message) that she could call up until midnight, but she may not have felt comfortable doing that. Maybe she’ll call tonight. Maybe she won’t. And, then I’ll have to move on, which would be such a shame.
Wouldn’t it be ironic if “Davebear, the sex fiend” passed up on a chance for casual sex with an attractive woman, because he was hoping for more than that, when that was all she wanted. It’s entirely possible that, had I had a room, that first night, she would have gone back to it, with me. She certainly gave me a huge opportunity to suggest it. But, I didn’t, so I couldn’t. I’m not sure if I would have, if it were possible. I might have, just because I hate to pass up opportunities of any sort, and especially that sort. But, I might not have, because I did hope for more than a one night stand. Well, I guess I got more, but not what I wanted.
I’ve only had one “one night stand” in my life, and even that led to several more nights. But, it started out as a woman picking me up in a bookstore, while I was traveling on business. I’d gone there in the cruddiest clothes I had with me, an old T-Shirt and a pair of gym shorts I packed for workouts, because I was out of reading material and didn’t see the point in getting dressed, again, for that. Nice lady. Good lover, too. She was my only experience with a bi-sexual woman, that I know of. I found out, after the first night, that she was “cheating” on her live-in lover, with me. I felt bad about that, but she said (and I was willing to be convinced) that their arrangement allowed for discreet flings. Apparently, her partner was purely gay, but understood that this lady really liked to be with a man, once in a while. I’m not sure whether she would have succeeded in removing the chrome from a bumper hitch, but she certainly had potential.
So, anyway, we’ll see if I ever hear from Theresa, again. Perhaps I blew it, by trying to be a gentleman. Perhaps she’s just a total flake. Or, perhaps she wss seeing someone else, or is now, and getting all the sex she can handle. I dunno.
Oh, Davebear, you SO do not need this crap. I hate games, too. If a couple of people are attracted to each other, why not go for it? This woman is acting like a jackass. When and if you hear from her, I hope you are able to straighten out the communication rift. She sounds like she could be a lot of fun, if she would ever return her phone calls!
I think you should get the room and go to the beach anyway. The beach is such a peaceful place for me, takes away all my stress. And if she’s such a dummy that she’s passing on you, it’s her loss, you know?
Yeah, I agree with that, too. That’s what kills me. If it weren’t for this one issue, she’d be damn near perfect for me.
When I first read this, my initial response was “GAAAAH! Are you KIDDING me? Go back to the scene of the crime? Deliberately torture myself?” But, having calmed my heartrate a tad, it might not be a bad idea. I’m thinking along the lines of what Wyatt (I think) suggested. Sending her an email saying I’m coming up (she doesn’t answer them, but she does, apparently, read them), gonna be staying over, and if she’d like to get together, great; call my cell phone. Two problems with this; if she doesn’t call, I’m going to be even more bummed and not really feel like going out, and if she doesn’t call, I’m going to be on a beach across the street from her stores.
Thanks. Tell everyone you know, cuz I’m thinking I’m available.
Dave, I don’t usually like to tell people what to do, (well, that’s not entirely true…) but pleeeeeeease, for the love of all that is good and holy, Do Not get a hotel room at the beach if you don’t hear from her. Too creepy, too stalkerish, too tempting to come up with thirty seven excuses of why you have to pass by her stores or go into them or have a heart attack in front of them. Way too tempting. Way too creepy if she sees you and hasn’t communicated with you. No offense, Delores, but that is the worst possible thing he could do.
Dave, have you and she talked about relationships at all? I mean in a general context. Has she said anything specific to whether she generally prefers the causal dating scene or prefers more monogamous relationships? If someone dumped her because she wasn’t available, she may just not want to get so involved that she thinks that’s going to happen again. It may be easier for her to keep it casual. Being the type of person you’ve described yourself to be, that probably would not be what you’re looking for, but it may be what she wants. I hate the casual dating thing. I made myself try it for awhile when I was in my 20’s. It was just as awful as I thought it would be. I’m a relationship person. Some people are just made like that, some people aren’t. Nothing wrong with either one, but they don’t mix well.
I really hope you get this straightened out one way or another. I know the “not knowing” must be just killing you. Hell, it’s killing me and half the posters on this board!
D.Bear!!! Talk about “Feel your pain!” Dude! I’m on that Other coast and wouldn’t even Have to be empathic (much less ‘professionally sensitive’) to be able to do a “Counselor Troy” even from here!!! (“Captain, I’m sensing mind-numbing Pain from the East Coast Quadrant”)
I’m late, but, woulda LIKED to have been here in time to tell ya that weird (why IS weird ‘i’ after ‘e’ even though it is not after ‘c’ OR sounded as “a” as in neighbor and weigh? … weird …)
whoops! I’m back now, that weird dot-com is not only the “she’s on the net” phone answering service, but is actually, in my experience with a non-net-friendly friend, even less reliable about getting messages than Theresa. But, you already figured out a) she was on the net when you called before and b) not to leave a hope-filled message on that thing!
Would be Entirely too ironic, if I let slip a relationship with a beautiful Libran by being too much on the ‘gentlemanly’ side of things … And that was what was happening out there, too!
Solution!!! OK, All you Lovely Lovely Libran women, just Line on UP! D.Bear will have casual ‘romance’ with you on the coast that sorta voted For George, Wyatt will do the honors on the coast that didn’t, and all y’all there in the middle, flip a coin, pick a direction and get chur plane tickets!
[wimper] and you get to be “I think you’re a very sweet guy” … I get to be “Sorry Wyatt …” [/wimper]
Seriously though, while you’re not going to win the people magazine sexiest man alive cover… how many guys are? I’d hardly say you’re repulsive or anything 
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