No need to put it off, it really won’t take very long.
!!!ATTENTION … ATTENTION!!!
Robot Arm posts the golden 1000th post and breaks us to page 21!!
Way to go, dude!
Tell 'im what he’s won, Wyatt!
Well, if Mr Maureen weren’t the jealous type, I’d sweep her up in my arms, and bolt for the back room. And, keep the rest of the details to myself, as Wyatt would no doubt expect, by now.
Oh, you felt that, did you? Sorry. I tried to be a gentleman about it.
Well, I wouldn’t say I’ve mastered it. More like temporarily accepted it.
Hah! Can you spare the 15 seconds that would take?
Well, that’s what I’m told. I’m trying to believe it. I have to say, I’ve had better luck dating this time, than at any other time in my life. Not that it’s been fabulous, mind you.
Yeah, you’d hate having to date younger guys, wouldn’t you? 
I think it probably does apply to women, as well, IF, as you say, they keep themselves looking good. Most of the women my age that I’ve seen on Match don’t meet that criteria. So, the market for the few is extremely hot.
Take a few pictures. We’ll be happy to let you know how close you are to achieving that goal. 
Ah. Well the simple answer is because it’s my thread. And, I like long threads. I guess the more complex answer would be along the lines of people living vicariously through me.
Happy Thousandth, everyone! Just call me “the late Davebear”.
I thought “the late” is reserved for dead people. confused
I think you’re right, Optihut. Otherwise I’m confused too.
Maybe Dave started partying a bit too early today. 
I didn’t know him long, but oh, how he touched me. Davebear’s posts were long and hard to read, with unheard of positions and a special flare for sexual innuendo. Dave’s literary prowess was delightful; his hands all over the keyboard as he brought me again and again to heights never before reached with a well-placed word. I would keep him up all night with my attempts to write a note that could not be misconstrued; but he always got me in the end. Oh, Davebear, why oh why did you have to go down like that? I wasn’t done with you yet.
gasp~sob
Oh no need for mourning… only the good die young
He’s just out rounding up a chickie to be his next 1000 post/20 page mod buster
[announcer voice]
You’ve Won a Fabulous Table Setting for 12 …
from
Taco Bell!
That’s right, Your beautiful new table setting will include a hand matched set of
12 lovely white plastic sporks! (audience oooooohhh’s)
thats right, ladies and gentlemen, Why waste good eating time having to change tools? With these lovely sporks you’ll be ready to stab it, tear it, or scoop it up, all with the same finely crafted tool. It’s not a mere fork or spoon, it’s a ®Spork®!!
And, that’s not All!!!
Your table would not be complete without 12 matching Drinking Straws! (audience ahhhhh’ssss)
Thats Right, 12 of these babies, with fashionable red and white stripes, Each in it’s own sanitary white paper wrapper. You can scrunch the wrapper up and wet it to do caterpiller tricks, or shoot it across the room and that’s only the beginning! These fine, well crafted straws are fully able to deliver the soda of your choice to your lips * OR* make “parent- annoying bubbling noises!” and to go with your 12 straws … (audience gasp)
You Got it! Twenty Four P a p e r . N a p k i n s!!! Yes, that is Two napkins for each and every one of your guests, one for the lap and one for the mouth … or just a spare when the first one hits the floor … that is two fine Taco Bell Patented Brown paper napkins for you and each of eleven guests!
Who is setting an elegant table in the future, why it’s Mister 1000th post, himself … Mr. R o b o t . A r m!!!
Back to you, Rocky and Dave
[/announcer voice] *** woof
saunters around the room looking VERY contented and VERY VERY VERY Well bathed …
Generally, yes. But rules only apply to those who are willing to follow them.
[Closed Captioned for the pun impaired]
Davebear had been hoping to have the 1,000th post in this thread, but was late, as usual. The good news is that he did not miss the stirring eulogy delivered by a grief-stricken, talented, and apparently horny, Psalex.
[/Closed Captions]
[Standing Ovation]
thunderous applause Bravo! Bravissima!
[Standing Ovation]
sniffle Wow! That was…so…stirring. I’m overwhelmed. Your kind words make it hard for me to go on and on, as I usually do. Yet, I feel the need to touch you, intimately, as you have touched me. Such a sweet, gushing eulogy, I want to just drink it all in, and let it flow over me. I’m all aquiver. Perhaps if I just keep stroking the keyboard till the trembling stops, the words will come again, and we’ll be able to reach those heights you enjoy so much in unison. I feel as though your words of praise have stripped me of all my doubts, so that I stand naked before you, yet proudly erect. I barely know you, yet I feel sure I’d like to know you for a long time to come.
Well, I should live a long, long time then, shouldn’t I?
OOOoooh! I love sporks! He’s so lucky!
Down, boy! Down! No, I didn’t say sit. I said down!
You and I will be the only two people left on the planet, Dave
I figure that and sheer stubbornness have gotten me this far.
21 pages… I have yet to see a thread pass 3!
I bet your pregnancy update thread will go longer Tanookie.
Oh, stop! You’re a good person. You’re one of the nicest people I know. I’d be happy to have the company, but I don’t think that will be you.
Well, what can I say? I guess I have some kind of talent for picking popular topics. Probably helps that I let them branch off into all sorts of weirdness, too.
What’s that mean?
That was in response to the ‘only the good die young’ thing. It was joking sarcasm.
Everyone thinks I’m so cute and sweet. I appreciate that really. Unfortunately I had to do a lot of bad things to get to the cute and sweet point.
WOW that even got me stirred up and given my recent track record with men, it’s probably time to look toward more feminine prospects…want a shampoo?
I thought about it last night, the last guys I have been involved with including my ex-husband have been 42, 29, 42, 33, 35…and my crush Fernando is 43…so they kind of run the age span…the 29 yo was the pilot back in Italy…just a thang really but it was fun. And I don’t have any problem with attracting younger guys…it’s the maturity level I generally don’t click with. We are just at different life stages…I’m kind of not into the “club scene” and a lot of the late 20s crowd still seem to be doing that.
I still take care of myself, I am not big on photos…I just don’t really take pictures (ask Atrael, he bugs me all the time for photos) but I will see if I can get Studmuffin to take a more recent pic. The ones I sent are a couple of years old. I think that is why people think I am younger - not because I truly look younger, it is just because I haven’t let myself go. And BTW - you know that works the same with men…a lot of 40 yr old men have the whole Spare tire thing going for them. When I see a guy like Fernando who’s still in shape and dresses nice, educated, etc…definitely turns my head!
I’m glad you are having better luck this time, you will get better at it. I remember somewhere int his thread you said, “I suck at dating” but I am thinking you kind of don’t suck at dating anymore. It does take some practice but fortunately it is something that is fun to practice at!
Oh and no hair? Well I’ll give you a scalp massage, those are nice too!
Wyatt - you make me laugh every single day. I look forward to seeing what you will come up with next. THANKS!
Now THERE’s a Thread that will run more than 20,000 views!
Oh, Tanookie , Maureen , and Simple Dreamer , you are the sweetness and light that tempers this post. While mipiace and I ham it up in a naughty-girl fashion- you two preserve the sugar-and-spice image that all women lay claim to. Eventually mipiace and I will get married and/or knocked up and we will behave likewise. Until then, please continue to remind the peanut gallery that girls are still more refined and well behaved than boys; even when we have a few drinks in us. (Gentle hugs to you, Simple Dreamer for having back pain; and a very very wide to you and junior, Tanookie , and hug to Maureen , - it is just so cute when she blushes!)
And Wyatt is a riot- is he not? Our narrator/announcer/canine jester deserves a good belly rub and a job writing shtick for a couple of un-named but spent late night hosts.
(Is it wrong to be attracted to a dog just because he is funny?)
And mipiace -the-temptress, who dates a difficult man because she is woman enough for the challenge- you are one ballsy babe. Tell you what- next time the self-involved but well-accented Rogue mishandles the commitment play again, just give me a call and I will show up at the appropriate time in a sexy dress and give you a long wet kiss in his presence. Then I will disappear as mysteriously as I arrived, leaving you to grin, wipe the lipstick off your mouth, and shrug impolitely at Rogue. Divulge nothing! It never hurts to add to the this-woman-is-more-than-meets-the-eye factor. (And, as an added bonus, I will throw in a scathing look in Rogue’s direction as I stalk out)
Robot Arm , you earned that spork. Your aim and timing is impeccable. Hold that spork up high- show the world your stuff. Good play, man, good play. golf clap everyone
Optihut and ** peritrochoid ** : your stamina is very, very sexy. You have both shown the attentiveness and staying power that makes women melt. Not many men can ride for 21 pages. (The toes, Wyatt, lick the toes)
Lastly, but mostly, Davebear . My, how you keep our interest. Women want you, strangers flock to your post, and men are simply in awe of your popularity. What else can I say? You are a prince among thieves, a man about town, and a hard man who has been good to find. mipiace and I have agreed to share you, should you deign to come down south from your exalted heights and join us for a private literary romp. We the paper and you the pen, Davebear . And we are poised for your dictation.
full tilt toe slurp!
Ahm SUch a suckah fo a bit o’ flatterieh
My goodness Psalex…now that is an offer I cannot refuse! The Studmuffin had better behave that would be a moment worthy of one of those Mastercard commercials! “the look on his face when she kisses me and walks away? - Priceless!” Oh but he isn’t the only one who can get the girls, he must have forgotten THAT little tidbit of information…LOL
I think I may be developing a new crush girl! And the fun you and I can have tweaking the libidos in this thread!!!
Sure Dave, just for you babe, you , me, Psalex, in the tub…do I need to say more?